Erection during therapy?

[Blondecurls]

On a few occasions when I talk about the past in therapy I get a slight erection. I can talk about something painful that’s not related to sexual abuse (like being beaten) and while tearing up I get an erection. Anyone experienced this, and why does it happen?

 

[NotAshamed1962]

I have not experienced that in therapy-but I have in my mens group—when we discuss our past.

I’m so sorry you experienced the pain & trauma that none of us should have gone through.

On a few occasions when I talk about the past in therapy I get a slight erection. I can talk about something painful that’s not related to sexual abuse (like being beaten) and while tearing up I get an erection. Anyone experienced this, and why does it happen?

 

[Not_our_fault]

Yes I have when discussing intimidate details and being asked questions. It only means you are just reliving it. Not turned on by it

 

[Blondecurls]

Thank you for your input guys. It’s good to know this is normal and that I’m not a freak. (Phew!)

 

[Not_our_fault]

You aren’t a freak. Reliving things can trigger reactions, negative, positive, etc no matter the memory, you can get the same feelings, it’s why trauma is so difficult to deal with.

 

[manipulated]

Trigger Warning***
Not a freak. I don’t recall erection but especially early in my T I would start flowing precum despite a very soft penis. So much so that I needed to wear a long coat or shirt to be able to walk out in any dignity. I too thought I was a freak or had a medical issue - especially since I never had much flow prior. Both my MD and my PHD assured me it was normal given my past.

 

[NewGerasene]

I've had erections when remembering, and that includes when journaling or in therapy. I hate any erections associated with my abuse, like the ones permitted by remembering. It made me think I must have liked the abuse or even asked for it, but that thinking is wrong. Over time I've learned to accept them.

I got into a habit of making a mark in my journal whenever a got an erection while writing. I didn't write a sentence or explain, just made a little mark, l and keep on writing.

This helped me see how many things have me an erection, and sometimes a link with dissociating.

Ironically, as I noted them, over time they decreased. I don't know why.

Seriously, though, one of the most upsetting things in my recovery has been erections promoted by memories. I'm over it, but it real put disturbed me for a long time.

 

[traveler]

On a few occasions when I talk about the past in therapy I get a slight erection. I can talk about something painful that’s not related to sexual abuse (like being beaten) and while tearing up I get an erection. Anyone experienced this, and why does it happen?

yeah - happened to me too. I think one reason is that my experiences scrambled my emotions and physical reactions so that while sharing something sensitive or private with my T, it gave me a sense of intimacy which I confused with physical intimacy/sex - which was associated with the abnormal kind of intimacy created by the abuse. I hope that makes sense. There was definitely an emotional bond with my T which was not caused by sexual attraction, but sometimes could be confused with it.

 

[Greybeard]

I have had similar issues, and it doesn't help that I find my T attractive. I'm glad you asked this question, because the answers have made me realize this is not uncommon, and that I am not perverse for having the reaction.

 

[Seagull]

.

 

[Blondecurls]

Thank you to everyone that shared your experiences here

I second that. thank you everyone.

 

[jeffel]

Trigger Warning***
Not a freak. I don’t recall erection but especially early in my T I would start flowing precum despite a very soft penis. So much so that I needed to wear a long coat or shirt to be able to walk out in any dignity. I too thought I was a freak or had a medical issue - especially since I never had much flow prior. Both my MD and my PHD assured me it was normal given my past.

I'm glad I found this post. I have been really struggling with this recently. I've been feeling like my body is betraying me. I've been processing things, and feeling horrible feelings like sadness and shame coupled with my whole body shaking. Then, when I finally calm down, I realize that my pants are very wet, and I was leaking. It makes me so angry with myself because my body is doing something sexual, and I want nothing to do with sex. I want to choose when I WANT to have sex.

 

[smc1972]

Trigger Warning

I have the issue with erections even have experienced leaking and yes it really really bothered me i felt like i was this terrible person for it. But i have learned from here and with my first T that it is my body just having an automatic response to events of the past because it how things got wired per se in my mind. Like being penetrated In pain and cryin and also being fondled at the same time and having an erectIon. I could nto stop it as a kid so now it is just an automatic response. I still get upset at myself but i have to stop and remind myself it is ok just body response nothing more.

 

[AlexBoyd]

It's something I have experienced during a session. It's also something I experienced while mourning my the loss of my father, and that really baffled me. Erections that happen during times when there's no obvious stimulus (not even a breeze lol) are due to wiring issues, at least that's how I have come to think about it. Emotions are unpredictable, and so are penises. I hope the response in this thread is helping put you at ease.

 

[jeffel]

It's something I have experienced during a session. It's also something I experienced while mourning my the loss of my father, and that really baffled me. Erections that happen during times when there's no obvious stimulus (not even a breeze lol) are due to wiring issues, at least that's how I have come to think about it. Emotions are unpredictable, and so are penises. I hope the response in this thread is helping put you at ease.

This does help. Thank you. It doesn't make it any easier, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone in experiencing it.

 

[Jheelz7]

Ha

On a few occasions when I talk about the past in therapy I get a slight erection. I can talk about something painful that’s not related to sexual abuse (like being beaten) and while tearing up I get an erection. Anyone experienced this, and why does it happen?

Happens to me all the time. I don’t think it’s odd

 

[bigGuy13]

Arousal for me both in the form of an erection or making my underwear wet happens consistently in therapy, especially when discussing abusive incidents. I’ve also learned that when I get scared, I tense up and clench in places that causes both those things to happen. It’s been a horrible reality for me, but I know from other guys on here, as well as a couple friends, that thinking about or discussing aspects of their abuse or shame causes that too. Most of the time, for me, it causes more shame. But I’m getting better at accepting that those things that I don’t want to be happening aren’t my fault. I hope all of y’all find comfort in hearing these guys share how it’s not uncommon, as much as it might suck.

 

[BelovedSon]

I have have had some erections during therapy. More common though, is for me to have pre-ejaculate come out if it is a really intense session with a panic attack or sobbing.

 

[smc1972]

I felt i was such a bad person for having erections when thinking about my past or discussing it. But i also reached a point as a kid i felt shame at having them at certain times. 7th grade flirt time having to change and shower in front of others i had one, i had signed up for football and was so like ashamed of my body and fearful and it happened and i was teased. I wanted to die. I need up quitting football but became. Manger so still embarrassed but i no longer had to change or shower. I did pe in 8th grade and did not have that issue but was urinated on in shower by another kid who was a bully. That was the last year i ever did pe. When i got into high school went back to being a manager to get my credits.

Sorry went off on a tangent i guess the commonalty is shame over something that i think should not cause shame. I guess one good thin g with video T sessions i know she cant tell. When i did in person with my old T I sat to hide it or placed my jacket in my lap. i still catch myself telling myself in my mind i am this sick person and i have to force myself to tell myself its ok. It means nothing just my body reacting to something i had no control over as a kid and it causes it now. I am not abnormal i am not alone, other who have experienced this are normal and good people. I am not alone.

It doesn't make it any easier, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone in experiencing it.

I get that and yeah we are not alone.

 

[MO-Survivor]

It's something I have experienced during a session. It's also something I experienced while mourning my the loss of my father, and that really baffled me. Erections that happen during times when there's no obvious stimulus (not even a breeze lol) are due to wiring issues, at least that's how I have come to think about it. Emotions are unpredictable, and so are penises. I hope the response in this thread is helping put you at ease.

Excellent description @AlexBoyd. We definitely have our wires crossed / tangled. In your other thread there is a good convo starting (I think) on page 6 about unwanted arousal by things like feeling a strong emotional response / connection with someone (thanks @Induna). Again - wires crossed.

For me this has been raising a question. I have said often, “I did not ever find anything my father did as pleasurable. I don’t ever remember getting hard.” Since realizing the abuse likely happened prior to my first memory at age 5 or 6, I have opened the door to the fact that at younger ages I might very well have been responsive but don’t remember it.

The question this raises for me, since it seems to be fairly universal that memories of abuse (even by one’s father) can be arousing and that there were physical aspects of what happened that felt good, is this: is this just one more area that I suppressed so deeply, that my statement about never feeling pleasure and never being aroused is actually not true?

I tell people, “I’ve kind of been doing a lot of things ‘backwards’ compared to most guys.” And it’s only as I progress thru therapy that I get to the real feelings that were trapped so deeply, and then I’m able to say, “I was wrong. I have those same issues / feelings. It just took me a long time to be able to access them.”

Ugh. And the answer to this is very, very important. Because I’ve only been able to unlock freedom as I’ve unlocked my true, buried feelings about things.