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...and there was light seeks to expose the devastation of childhood sexual abuse, and its ripple effects through the life of a victim, from childhood, to adulthood; from relationships to career choices and from failure to success. It is a personal account by an overcomer, one who has discovered hope, and who has made his way back to wholeness. It is a vivid, uncompromising account of a broken life, twisted and damaged by the evil of childhood sexual abuse. With relentless honesty, the author describes not only the devastation he suffered, but the devastation he caused in the lives of those around him. This is not a clinical work compiled from notes; from the observation of victims in a therapeutic environment. This is one man’s story...

A Book for Someone is a self-help recovery book that shares insights on Divine Providence, spiritual methods, forgiveness, parenting, child abuse healing, generational healing, and The Circle of Life.

A beautifully written, compelling and mesmerizing story of triumph over evil and the strength of the human spirit...I couldn’t put it down. Maddie KitchenAs a small boy Matt Carey loved to ride his bike, play football with friends and to laugh. He loved life and was always smiling.When he was just eight years old, he was targeted by a group of predatory podophiles who subjected him to 18-months of horrific sexual abuse. He was too ashamed and scared to tell anyone what had happened...not his parents, friends or family.In his new book, A Small Boy Smiling, Matt tells a remarkable story of survival and overcoming the trauma, guilt and shame of childhood sexual abuse, teenage alcoholism, and post traumatic stress disorder. His...

In this poignant memoir, Charles Spencer recounts the trauma of being sent away from home at age eight to attend boarding school.A Very Private School offers a clear-eyed, first-hand account of a culture of cruelty at the school Charles Spencer attended in his youth and provides important insights into an antiquated boarding system. Drawing on the memories of many of his schoolboy contemporaries, as well as his own letters and diaries from the time, he reflects on the hopelessness and abandonment he felt at aged eight, viscerally describing the intense pain of homesickness and the appalling inescapability of it all. Exploring the long-lasting impact of his experiences, Spencer presents a candid reckoning with his past and a...

A long overdue book by a psychologist who has extensive clinical experience treating male victims of child sexual abuse, it explodes the myth that sexual abuse of male children is rare, or that the consequences are less serious than for girls. Hunter examines the physical and emotional impact of abuse on its victims and the factors affecting revovery. With personal case histories of victims and their families, this is a powerfully written and meticulously researched book that is a landmark in the field of child sexual abuse literature.

A moving and surprisingly funny memoir about finding the right balance between anger and compassion“Why aren’t you angry?” people often asked Martin Moran after he told his story of how he came to forgive the man who sexually abused him as a boy. At first, the question pissed him off. Then, it began to haunt him. Why didn’t he have more anger? Why had he never sought redress for the crime committed against him? Was his fury hidden, buried? Was he not man enough? Here he was, an adult in mid-life, with an established acting career, a husband. A life. And yet the question of rage began to obsess him.As the narrative jumps from dream to memory to theory, from Colorado to New York to Johannesburg, Moran takes us along on his quest to...

David and I met some 45 years ago. We were teenagers on different tracks destined to meet again at various stations of life. I always enjoyed his ridiculously sarcastic sense of humour, zest for life, and unusual way of challenging the narrative without destroying it. Somewhere along our jagged journeys, he and I became brothers. I was familiar with his story. What I didn't know was how well he could tell the story. The writing is excellent; the plan of unravelling it through flashbacks is brilliant, but that is not where the real punch hits.In his book, Altared Boy, David Lewis attempts and succeeds in no uncertain terms to shine a light on unspeakable, unconscionable and heinous treatment by abusive Catholic priests. Each page...

"An Inch From Murder" was written 20 years ago and is now being brought to print for the very first time and deals with life as a Male Victim of Sexual Child Abuse. Drawing from the memory of past molestations from the age of four until sixteen, a trauma unfolded in adulthood profiling Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The uncanning of the abuse by seven men (including Catholic Priests, a policeman, close relatives and friends) resulted in the attempted murder of my latest assailant; the ensuing incarceration and the attempt now to bring the issues of Male Victimization into focus. I have come out from the main stratum of society to become a sexual abuse statistic; and a criminal statistic as well. Now, my desired hope is that I can...

CEO and International Entrepreneur Reveals Sexual Abuse When seven-year-old Peter Pelullo suffered multiple sexual-abuse attacks at the hands of two older neighborhood kids, no one in his 1950s middle-class world knew what to do. Everyone hoped he would just forget about it.But Pete couldn t forget. Scarred and tormented, he started down a path of unremitting sexual promiscuity, headed toward a life devoid of intimacy. Eventually, he found success as the owner of a major recording studio and even worked with the Rolling Stones but he was still emotionally lost. He lived half a life, masking his pain with prescription drugs, alcohol, work, and sex, and watched his family slip away from him.It would be almost five decades before he...

In the growing professional literature on child sexual abuse, few books focus specifically on the experience of victimized boys and men. Interweaving vital elements of psychodynamic and trauma-oriented clinical practice, this much-needed volume examines how sexual betrayal affects boys, the ways they carry this hurt into adulthood, and how therapists can address the unique needs of men with sexual abuse histories. Exploring the impact of abuse on men's emotional development, gender and sexual identity, and relationships, the book provides in-depth consideration of individual and group treatment issues. Numerous case examples draw readers into the direct experience of these clients and the clinicians who work with them and illuminate...

"With compassion and clarity, Richard Gartner shares insights from years of working with male survivors. Among this book's greatest strengths is the extensive use of examples from Dr. Gartner's clinical practice to illustrate problems and solutions on the path to healing. Beyond Betrayal offers support, encouragement, and useful skills to men in recovery." —Mike Lew, M.Ed., author of Victims No Longer and Leaping Upon the Mountains"If you have been sexually abused, this book will give you information, hope, direction, and most importantly, the assurance that you are not alone. Dr. Gartner has written an accessible, compassionate book that clearly lays out the healing process for men who were hurt or abused as children. Whether you...

Patricia A. McKnight: Author "My Justice" In this amazing new book "Beyond Survivor", the very talented author, Jan Frayne, takes his readers into the arena of childhood sexual abuse recovery, battles and conquests. As one of the rare published novels from a Male Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor, Mr. Frayne allows his readers to feel the depth of shattered mind, body and soul. "Beyond Survivor" will take you into the hurricane of emotion and strength as this boy conquers the demons and nightmares of his past. Readers will ride the rollercoaster of success as they travel through the many nightmares. This expertly written novel shows the path of standing strong and achieving what all mankind desires; retrieving the happiness once destroyed...

A raw, candid account of sexual and physical abuse and how one survives it, Big Boy is also a tale of hope and redemption.Told in a no-nonsense, first-person account, Zach Neuhaus takes us from his Pacific Northwest childhood—where his alcoholic father and codependent mother failed to provide a healthy environment for him—through his bumpy, rough teen years, and finally into his college days and then into his thirties, where he finally found a sense of self-love and security. From the scarred innocence of childhood, the trauma of being “cared for” in a world of sick and broken adults, to the nearly-devastating reality of adulthood, we follow Neuhaus as he slowly matures and becomes—waywardly—a man. Neuhaus explores what lies beneath...

"A gripping and emotional memoir ... sure to leave as big a mark on the reader as it did on the writer. Unforgettable.”—Jon Clinch, Author of Finn and Kings of the Earth.A deaf widow leaves her eight-year-old son at an orphanage, hoping he’ll find a better life. She dreams that Girard College, a boarding school for fatherless boys, will be his Camelot.What she doesn’t know is that emotional abuse, corporal punishment, bullying and pedophilia are the norm. And her son doesn’t know whether his mother is ever coming back, or if he’ll have to run away.Boarding School Bastard is the memoir of a child’s first year at an orphanage in 1962. Leavening the tragedy with humor, Boarding School Bastard reveals a world we’d prefer to avoid but is...

As an associate athletic director for 20 years, Jim Bartko helped drive the University of Oregon's innovative athletic program to unprecedented levels of success. Among his key responsibilities? Being a liaison to super donor Phil Knight. Meanwhile, though, he harbored a secret that nobody knew but two other people — his best friend and the Catholic priest who sexually abused them both when they were children. When, after forty-four years, Bartko finally went public with his story, he was lauded for his courage by many, particularly those who’d experienced childhood sexual abuse themselves. But within a year he’d lost his job as athletic director at Fresno State and been served with divorce papers. Bartko’s story is one of tragedy and...

American society is in the midst of a crisis-an epidemic of violence, secrets and shame. The victims reside in every town, on every street. Finding it easier to remain in denial than to confront this reality, the public minimizes the emotional aftermath of sexual abuse of children and provides few programs to help heal those afflicted. Recounting the author’s journey through a minefield based on his own denial, Boys Don’t Tell takes a subjective look back at a life distorted by the effects of childhood sexual abuse and offers insight on why victims find it so difficult to “just get over it and move on.” Through the eyes and emotions of the author, this book reveals his abuse as a teenager by a trusted minister and mentor, then recounts...

The Stories of Men who are Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

This remarkable true story of adolescent sexual abuse, survival and triumph offers realistic hope to all victims of abuse – both for recovery, and for a fulfilling life no longer defined by an abusive past. The author’s courageous struggle to achieve insight and awareness, and eventually see justice done, points a way for others to overcome childhood trauma and victimization.

Norbert Krapf, past Indiana Poet Laureate, Pulitzer Prize nominee, emeritus prof. of English at Long Island University, and author of twenty-five critically acclaimed books, has written a new book, "Catholic Boy Blues: A Poet's Journal of Healing." Norbert is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. After fifty years of struggling with his past, he felt that by confronting it in writing, he could offer fellow victims comfort, healing, and a sense of freedom from the long-term effects of abuse. The 130 poems he selected from the 325 he wrote came in four voices: the boy he was, the man he became, Mr. Blues (a fictional friend, mentor, and counselor), and the Priest.

The social perception of masculinity is very black and white: one is either an Alpha Male or a Beta Male, and there can be no variation. However, this is not the reality of masculinity in today's society. Non-Alpha Males exist somewhere in the middle of the masculinity spectrum and are far more common than most people realize. These Non-Alpha Males are prone to developmental and behavioral issues caused by gender role conflict, toxic shame, and complex trauma. These, as well as the role of parenting, attachment and abuse issues, gender constructs and socialization, and the resulting addiction, sexual issues, and self-loathing, are explored in Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male Dr. Carpenter's book offers healthy resolutions through...