i dont love you.
hi James, I have seen your post and just came to say hello.
I hope you are doing well!
Greetings from Europe!
Pero
I hope you are doing well!
Greetings from Europe!
Pero
i dont love you.
- Thread starterSterling
- Start date
Hey Pero.... your mentioning Europe ....reminded me of
the band Europe.
"It's the final countdown!"
do doo ...do ri to do.
a memory I cherish , I wanted to be like my brother
and then he left to meet up with some friends
while I stayed at dummy's house.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw
...just lonely.
the band Europe.
"It's the final countdown!"
do doo ...do ri to do.
a memory I cherish , I wanted to be like my brother
and then he left to meet up with some friends
while I stayed at dummy's house.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw
...just lonely.
feeling. work. work in isn't feeling.
educate. mi. work. thought.
jealous - emotion. feeling greedy . need some to love.
work. hot. j.
numb . paint.
I like to paint. work. need money. breathe. greedy.
cant change
Darren. I loved what you did.
I missed you. I am glad. the he ing. I don't know if you like me more.
I wish you. good. I cant fall in love it . molested. to be it lightly
I had to be this perfect kid. perfect everything. my dad used me for everything.
if I went to for cuddling I could make things gross. my mind hasn't really developed.
I have anger. I have to do this this way. I do miss you. but I need feminine In the other person.
I am scared to mess up my dream of feeling loved by a woman. I go back and forth.
I do have obsession with some parts of a man. not sure why. don't know if that matters
at the moment. I have a fear that a man could munipilate me.
"there are other men , james you are not the only handsome guy".
I know. so I got to work on t al many , things. I am jealous of my sperm donor.
he has this thing where he used me for sex. and then abandoned me. made me
feel aweful for needing love. yea. sick I know and then he wants me to be like him.
I am getting more aware that my brother and I will never have this relationship that I am
just dying to have. I needed love so badly. he wouldn't even look at me at times.
I have no one to talk this with. That dance last night was well. AT first I thought
shit I may not like this. But as the night went on , I danced more and more.
I keep wanting an experience with a man who has handsome , beard , fit .
I had opportunity, many times. I don't give in . I don't know if I should go to a bathhouse.
I kn. nobody can say what I want. so . I am just writing this to you, but it wont get to you.
and its not on the website but actually a different place on the web.
I am very lucky. I used to be quite mental and an idiot. I was blessed with an amazing guy
who loved me. To me he is my real dad. I even got another trauma therapist.
I shouldn't feel sorry here. YOu are a attractive man. loving.. wonderful spirit.
I am learning to find myself. my boundaries. It isn't easy . I keep messing up and learning
how to be with people. my sperm donor never knew who he was and so to take his rage out on me
was very intimidating. and raping me since I was a baby. I keep having dreams of what I think I can do.
But I should be aware that they are just dreams and I should be aware that may be these things may not
be real. I just fantasize ....not sure where , w or what. la all I know Is I will never see her.
And they do this a lot. I can get angry b/c they wouldn't let me be.
And they took me away. I feel like I have been in jail all my life.
To ask you to be this parent , would be frightening.
So I try to be aware , b/c I cant imagine to externalize this unknown needs on strangers.
A guy can be into me and I have to know ...."wait is this right? can I love this guy"?
may be I should just have sex and not analyze it.
I don't know. I just go with it.
All I know is never felt alive! I never felt anything. I froze throughout my dad's family.
Always. wanting to not be abused, and then my grandparents teach me to hate.
Very very sick! I would like revenge to be honest. I would like them to know who they are
and they cant change me into them or to be what they cant stand.
I just want to love but I am scared of listening. I have no boundaries so , this makes it really hard for me to trust.
How could I not have this problem. He kept doing sex. I had to pretend that this was a good thing.
I would like to press charges , but I wait. .... I want my mom to say " I am coming to visit , I want to know
what they said....why this why that? " she cant give a crap.
She wants to help him. So. a;ljd;slakj;flkjsaf;lkajfdfas;dlkfjs;lkfj
asdfkl;sdjf;lskjfsdlk;fjdsf fd ;lk hard to do this.
See how much I am working on. Why would you want this? exactly. and that is why I don't know
who to talk to. b/c I never had boundaries.
One can take from me. All the self confidence and kindness.
Be careful who you trust " one therapist pointed out.
She was an amazing woman. I needed D'arcy . I love all the people who help.
I hate my mind can easily be curious of the man's stuff. I don't have a guy to work this with.
I suppose I could call a trauma group. But maybe I might act so , ' this is my group'.
I cant be doing that. So it is lonely. And I am afraid and my mind will fill up with ideas , that its'
quick to my meals. I cant go to the gym. I got little money. But I am learning to appreciate life more
And so , I see others have more challenges than me. So. the way it is , is the way it is NOW. So.
One step and hopefully my body heals up and I earn more money.
But , boy I knew when I said " I am scared of falling in love with you".
But you cant read this letter. b/c I might come off weak , and too needy of a mom.
and a dad.
So goodbye , so both of us can love ourselves and to better health.
Take care.
love you.
James
educate. mi. work. thought.
jealous - emotion. feeling greedy . need some to love.
work. hot. j.
numb . paint.
I like to paint. work. need money. breathe. greedy.
cant change
Darren. I loved what you did.
I missed you. I am glad. the he ing. I don't know if you like me more.
I wish you. good. I cant fall in love it . molested. to be it lightly
I had to be this perfect kid. perfect everything. my dad used me for everything.
if I went to for cuddling I could make things gross. my mind hasn't really developed.
I have anger. I have to do this this way. I do miss you. but I need feminine In the other person.
I am scared to mess up my dream of feeling loved by a woman. I go back and forth.
I do have obsession with some parts of a man. not sure why. don't know if that matters
at the moment. I have a fear that a man could munipilate me.
"there are other men , james you are not the only handsome guy".
I know. so I got to work on t al many , things. I am jealous of my sperm donor.
he has this thing where he used me for sex. and then abandoned me. made me
feel aweful for needing love. yea. sick I know and then he wants me to be like him.
I am getting more aware that my brother and I will never have this relationship that I am
just dying to have. I needed love so badly. he wouldn't even look at me at times.
I have no one to talk this with. That dance last night was well. AT first I thought
shit I may not like this. But as the night went on , I danced more and more.
I keep wanting an experience with a man who has handsome , beard , fit .
I had opportunity, many times. I don't give in . I don't know if I should go to a bathhouse.
I kn. nobody can say what I want. so . I am just writing this to you, but it wont get to you.
and its not on the website but actually a different place on the web.
I am very lucky. I used to be quite mental and an idiot. I was blessed with an amazing guy
who loved me. To me he is my real dad. I even got another trauma therapist.
I shouldn't feel sorry here. YOu are a attractive man. loving.. wonderful spirit.
I am learning to find myself. my boundaries. It isn't easy . I keep messing up and learning
how to be with people. my sperm donor never knew who he was and so to take his rage out on me
was very intimidating. and raping me since I was a baby. I keep having dreams of what I think I can do.
But I should be aware that they are just dreams and I should be aware that may be these things may not
be real. I just fantasize ....not sure where , w or what. la all I know Is I will never see her.
And they do this a lot. I can get angry b/c they wouldn't let me be.
And they took me away. I feel like I have been in jail all my life.
To ask you to be this parent , would be frightening.
So I try to be aware , b/c I cant imagine to externalize this unknown needs on strangers.
A guy can be into me and I have to know ...."wait is this right? can I love this guy"?
may be I should just have sex and not analyze it.
I don't know. I just go with it.
All I know is never felt alive! I never felt anything. I froze throughout my dad's family.
Always. wanting to not be abused, and then my grandparents teach me to hate.
Very very sick! I would like revenge to be honest. I would like them to know who they are
and they cant change me into them or to be what they cant stand.
I just want to love but I am scared of listening. I have no boundaries so , this makes it really hard for me to trust.
How could I not have this problem. He kept doing sex. I had to pretend that this was a good thing.
I would like to press charges , but I wait. .... I want my mom to say " I am coming to visit , I want to know
what they said....why this why that? " she cant give a crap.
She wants to help him. So. a;ljd;slakj;flkjsaf;lkajfdfas;dlkfjs;lkfj
asdfkl;sdjf;lskjfsdlk;fjdsf fd ;lk hard to do this.
See how much I am working on. Why would you want this? exactly. and that is why I don't know
who to talk to. b/c I never had boundaries.
One can take from me. All the self confidence and kindness.
Be careful who you trust " one therapist pointed out.
She was an amazing woman. I needed D'arcy . I love all the people who help.
I hate my mind can easily be curious of the man's stuff. I don't have a guy to work this with.
I suppose I could call a trauma group. But maybe I might act so , ' this is my group'.
I cant be doing that. So it is lonely. And I am afraid and my mind will fill up with ideas , that its'
quick to my meals. I cant go to the gym. I got little money. But I am learning to appreciate life more
And so , I see others have more challenges than me. So. the way it is , is the way it is NOW. So.
One step and hopefully my body heals up and I earn more money.
But , boy I knew when I said " I am scared of falling in love with you".
But you cant read this letter. b/c I might come off weak , and too needy of a mom.
and a dad.
So goodbye , so both of us can love ourselves and to better health.
Take care.
love you.
James
don't give all your talents to a survivor
don't tell one person all your ideas and dreams.
don't have to change anyone (to me)
don't have to pretend ( to me)
don't have to love everyone.
But! I can choose to listen.
I can change ME.
I can love others.
I can choose to not care.
thank you.
don't tell one person all your ideas and dreams.
don't have to change anyone (to me)
don't have to pretend ( to me)
don't have to love everyone.
But! I can choose to listen.
I can change ME.
I can love others.
I can choose to not care.
thank you.
Nice music James ;-)
big BIG HUG!
a guy that lives with me is scary.
he doesn't like me. he l doesn't like himself.
I don't know what to do.
I have to move.
my legs are not as well as I would like them to be.
this place where I live , the cockroaches are less.
great!
but we get other insects.
I hate this. I just wanted to fix myself.
I like a feral cat I got so slco closed to.
my mouth isn't working connecting with my mind.
I heal myself and this moron I live with is a thief!
not as in thief , takes money.
thief. he hates himself.
I don't do anything. I feel like I am always
having to be careful not to anger him.
I hate this.
why cant he just fix himself.
He is so inconsiderate.
He is like a kid.
But I don't do anything.
He has no one. how is this my problem?
fuck!
now. I am not so much wanting but for my onw
wo won . own . healthy I need to get out.
I , many times in the past year I have felt puched
from him. not physically.
mentally, emotionally!
he doesn't like himself. .
I don't want to say this to m me. he wants stuff.
he wants to feel loved.
;sladfj;sdjk;afjkaf;jkladf
sajkl;dfjaskl;dfjka;fjkladkl;fad
fasdkl;fjasl;fjka;dlfjkasdkl;fjasdf;as
fasjkl;fasdl;fjasdfkl;aslfjk;asdfasd
fasdfjklasd
a guy that lives with me is scary.
he doesn't like me. he l doesn't like himself.
I don't know what to do.
I have to move.
my legs are not as well as I would like them to be.
this place where I live , the cockroaches are less.
great!
but we get other insects.
I hate this. I just wanted to fix myself.
I like a feral cat I got so slco closed to.
my mouth isn't working connecting with my mind.
I heal myself and this moron I live with is a thief!
not as in thief , takes money.
thief. he hates himself.
I don't do anything. I feel like I am always
having to be careful not to anger him.
I hate this.
why cant he just fix himself.
He is so inconsiderate.
He is like a kid.
But I don't do anything.
He has no one. how is this my problem?
fuck!
now. I am not so much wanting but for my onw
wo won . own . healthy I need to get out.
I , many times in the past year I have felt puched
from him. not physically.
mentally, emotionally!
he doesn't like himself. .
I don't want to say this to m me. he wants stuff.
he wants to feel loved.
;sladfj;sdjk;afjkaf;jkladf
sajkl;dfjaskl;dfjka;fjkladkl;fad
fasdkl;fjasl;fjka;dlfjkasdkl;fjasdf;as
fasjkl;fasdl;fjasdfkl;aslfjk;asdfasd
fasdfjklasd
couldnt look at him in the eye
THIS HAPPENS.
FRIEGHTEDN.
CLSOCK. KEPT LOOKING AT THE CLOCK. WHILE I S WTHER.
HE WUOLD LAF.
"NOBODY IS COMING TO GET YOU".
HE WOULD ALWAYS TELL ME THINGS
LIKE I WOULD KILL MY FAMILY.
ASA EARLY AS I CAN REMEMBER.
THINMK MY BROTHER WANTS
sorry I just seen I had cap s on.
my brother wants me?
nobody caners. and now. I have this roommate from fuckin hell!
I have living like this for a long time.
THIS HAPPENS.
FRIEGHTEDN.
CLSOCK. KEPT LOOKING AT THE CLOCK. WHILE I S WTHER.
HE WUOLD LAF.
"NOBODY IS COMING TO GET YOU".
HE WOULD ALWAYS TELL ME THINGS
LIKE I WOULD KILL MY FAMILY.
ASA EARLY AS I CAN REMEMBER.
THINMK MY BROTHER WANTS
sorry I just seen I had cap s on.
my brother wants me?
nobody caners. and now. I have this roommate from fuckin hell!
I have living like this for a long time.
sorry. you have to care. about me.
sorry you have to love me.
sorry oyuo you have to lie and like them.
sorry that god. bhas to halelp all of them.
sorry htat I am not killing your family.
sorry sorry sorry sorry soryd;aklsjf;fjklafsd;fklajf;jklf
asdfasdkl;fjasdl;fjkad;klfj;asdf
asdfkl;jasdfl;jkasdfkl;asdjfl;ajkfkl;sdfasd
fjkl;asdfjl;asdfkl;asjfsdkl;jfasl;f
asdfakl;dfjl;asdj
sorry you have to love me.
sorry oyuo you have to lie and like them.
sorry that god. bhas to halelp all of them.
sorry htat I am not killing your family.
sorry sorry sorry sorry soryd;aklsjf;fjklafsd;fklajf;jklf
asdfasdkl;fjasdl;fjkad;klfj;asdf
asdfkl;jasdfl;jkasdfkl;asdjfl;ajkfkl;sdfasd
fjkl;asdfjl;asdfkl;asjfsdkl;jfasl;f
asdfakl;dfjl;asdj
yur 2 nIce 2 mi IACCUS.
I KAANT LOOK @ THEM
more
I remember playing Ouija with theme idiots.
it reminds me how I type. I if I let them win.
they win. but they didn't win.
they are losers. cowards.
I don't want this roommate to take it.
he is gay. but. he needs help.
he needs help. .sadf;askldjfd;ljkfsdfkl;
sdas;j;fjklsdfkl;jaskl;dfjl;sdfjksdf
sdfjkljkljkl;sdfjkljklsdfjkl
I KAANT LOOK @ THEM
more
I remember playing Ouija with theme idiots.
it reminds me how I type. I if I let them win.
they win. but they didn't win.
they are losers. cowards.
I don't want this roommate to take it.
he is gay. but. he needs help.
he needs help. .sadf;askldjfd;ljkfsdfkl;
sdas;j;fjklsdfkl;jaskl;dfjl;sdfjksdf
sdfjkljkljkl;sdfjkljklsdfjkl
oh you don't know anything. your are stupid.
I just want to say to alllllllllllllllllllllllllll
the parents who protect their kids from dumb people.
You are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much needed in our
world!
Yip!!
I am having a shitty time.
I don't want to take anything for granted.
my o roommate is stupid. not stupid like me stupid.
stupid. he has no friends. none.
and he wants to make himself rich!
rich? what do you mean james?
rich. like he wants things. like pedophile kiril and his
brother.
I don't want to know this.
says brother.
yea. so. while I am working hard on everything.
I make little money.
but. that's my choice. I don't want to work.
why wouldn't you want to work?
hmm.
well. I have some shit to deal with.
cant someone help you with this james?
not really.
why is this?
b well thet say that is my rpobelm. b/c I am homosexual
I have to love my cousins. I have to be like them.
I have to hurt everyone.
I cant not listen to anyone.
enter shawn.
who is shawn?
shawn is thi fuck in guy who hates himself.f
how do you know this james.?
b/c he bullies. and bullies. I am tired of always being
nice.
then what do you do?
I should go to a rage room.
rage room.?
yea.
this is a place where I would like to go insane on objects.
would this help me?
it has in the past.
but I have no money.
shawn wants to be smarter than me.
this doesn't bother me.
what bothers me. is he takes.
takes what the hell do you mean?
well he is jealous.
jealous that I really am building nice things.
he doesn't want this. he wants what he wants.
and I am not going to be afraid of him.
if I have to I will fuckin go ape on him!!!
he grow up. I am not responsible for his shit.
I am not responsbiel for anyone BUT ME!
I am not special. I am not smarter than him
or anyone else.
Anddddd. I don't want to be.
I simply want to be left alone. and love .
this is as;ldkfjasdl;fjkadf;kljkl;afs
asdfkl;ajfl;
I just want to say to alllllllllllllllllllllllllll
the parents who protect their kids from dumb people.
You are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much needed in our
world!
Yip!!
I am having a shitty time.
I don't want to take anything for granted.
my o roommate is stupid. not stupid like me stupid.
stupid. he has no friends. none.
and he wants to make himself rich!
rich? what do you mean james?
rich. like he wants things. like pedophile kiril and his
brother.
I don't want to know this.
says brother.
yea. so. while I am working hard on everything.
I make little money.
but. that's my choice. I don't want to work.
why wouldn't you want to work?
hmm.
well. I have some shit to deal with.
cant someone help you with this james?
not really.
why is this?
b well thet say that is my rpobelm. b/c I am homosexual
I have to love my cousins. I have to be like them.
I have to hurt everyone.
I cant not listen to anyone.
enter shawn.
who is shawn?
shawn is thi fuck in guy who hates himself.f
how do you know this james.?
b/c he bullies. and bullies. I am tired of always being
nice.
then what do you do?
I should go to a rage room.
rage room.?
yea.
this is a place where I would like to go insane on objects.
would this help me?
it has in the past.
but I have no money.
shawn wants to be smarter than me.
this doesn't bother me.
what bothers me. is he takes.
takes what the hell do you mean?
well he is jealous.
jealous that I really am building nice things.
he doesn't want this. he wants what he wants.
and I am not going to be afraid of him.
if I have to I will fuckin go ape on him!!!
he grow up. I am not responsible for his shit.
I am not responsbiel for anyone BUT ME!
I am not special. I am not smarter than him
or anyone else.
Anddddd. I don't want to be.
I simply want to be left alone. and love .
this is as;ldkfjasdl;fjkadf;kljkl;afs
asdfkl;ajfl;
its really important to love yourself. or in this case me. i have never had anyone to share my life. i felt so alone and frightened throughout my life. i just wanted someone to talk to. i dont know everything. i dont want to. shitty people. dont know shit. they worried me until i knew i had to make things up to get out of their home. i didnt know who, why they would want me. but they forced me to be like them. i wish i could change. but i cant change everything or anyone. i dont know who to love. and i am doing well. but i am lonely. and when i feel lonely i can very . confused. embarrassed . they would pull my pants down.
cne they pulled my pants down. i remember i had to look at him. and that s when i got really scared. i thought i was becoming him. i think my mind had different paths. 1. i was very creative, so creative that it was too vulnerable to be attacked from anyone, esp,. my two cousins. i couldnt handle the word gay. i dont know if iwll ever sleep with any more people. but. i cant say thanks enough to God for bringing my therapist, Bob into my life. i wouldnt be living here if it wasnt for him. the internatinoal primal association.
I love copying , and pasting. I cannot thank the men who
brought the internet.
I wouldn't be living in Toronto if it wasn't for all these people.
all the gay bars on church is mindblowing! they help. i think people can pick up that i am not exaclty . into men. i just needed that love from a guy. i . for my dad to say "i dont know what happened . " go fuck yourself. i am so ashamed of him. it s like i am an infant and all these stages. looking like i dont want to. his brother just laughing at me. i was once in his hometown and i remember a woman laughing at me. . just got get help. you cant be believing that this is acceptable behaviour. there is a lot of loneliness. i dont ever want to see anyone hate anyone. but . that is too large. nyway. i just want love. but i know i am not the perfect . i dont want to be. sperm donor wants everyone to belive he is THE MAN! THE MAN THAT NOBODY CAN BE. HERE HE IS EVERYONE. KIRIL. KOZ. i wont do anymore. i would love to shame him. Oh you dont want to do that , that is just stooping to his level. So what? what the hell. why should a boy or girl be afriad of their own thoughts? ! this is sick. i am typing into a computer. b/c i dont know myself
coward. loser. its scary to not trust anyone. i should do something where it helps men get their shit out. i can do it. but then there is mental mind. how to this is sald;kfjdal;kfjf;afja ;kland what will that help.? i just want to be a nice guy. i am a nice guy turn my fikldsjal; mind off!!
why don't you go ? why don't you be naked? this is really
not my thing. I like women. but b/c of your lesbian there. I kn
don't know . ;askljdfs;alkfj d sd;lfka hit her back
how do I het eh bac mind. how ? how do I jus beat them up
dsfjkasld;klfjaflkj bullies suck! I hate this.
if a woman laughts at my dick. that is it. I am heading for...
t.v. that is . I am a hero. I can save me
cne they pulled my pants down. i remember i had to look at him. and that s when i got really scared. i thought i was becoming him. i think my mind had different paths. 1. i was very creative, so creative that it was too vulnerable to be attacked from anyone, esp,. my two cousins. i couldnt handle the word gay. i dont know if iwll ever sleep with any more people. but. i cant say thanks enough to God for bringing my therapist, Bob into my life. i wouldnt be living here if it wasnt for him. the internatinoal primal association.
I love copying , and pasting. I cannot thank the men who
brought the internet.
I wouldn't be living in Toronto if it wasn't for all these people.
all the gay bars on church is mindblowing! they help. i think people can pick up that i am not exaclty . into men. i just needed that love from a guy. i . for my dad to say "i dont know what happened . " go fuck yourself. i am so ashamed of him. it s like i am an infant and all these stages. looking like i dont want to. his brother just laughing at me. i was once in his hometown and i remember a woman laughing at me. . just got get help. you cant be believing that this is acceptable behaviour. there is a lot of loneliness. i dont ever want to see anyone hate anyone. but . that is too large. nyway. i just want love. but i know i am not the perfect . i dont want to be. sperm donor wants everyone to belive he is THE MAN! THE MAN THAT NOBODY CAN BE. HERE HE IS EVERYONE. KIRIL. KOZ. i wont do anymore. i would love to shame him. Oh you dont want to do that , that is just stooping to his level. So what? what the hell. why should a boy or girl be afriad of their own thoughts? ! this is sick. i am typing into a computer. b/c i dont know myself
coward. loser. its scary to not trust anyone. i should do something where it helps men get their shit out. i can do it. but then there is mental mind. how to this is sald;kfjdal;kfjf;afja ;kland what will that help.? i just want to be a nice guy. i am a nice guy turn my fikldsjal; mind off!!
why don't you go ? why don't you be naked? this is really
not my thing. I like women. but b/c of your lesbian there. I kn
don't know . ;askljdfs;alkfj d sd;lfka hit her back
how do I het eh bac mind. how ? how do I jus beat them up
dsfjkasld;klfjaflkj bullies suck! I hate this.
if a woman laughts at my dick. that is it. I am heading for...
t.v. that is . I am a hero. I can save me
there is this. I don't want to hate. he wants to feel like
he is this . he needed love. he , strangely his mom .
didn't want her dkkids maybe to be weak.
So they all suffered. or needed sex. . I may end up having sex
with a guy. I did already , maybe it was bad sex. I don't want
to love . don't have to. work. money . I don't want them
I am scared of typing. I need to start over. or not sure.
I am attracted to men. I don't know myself.
I don't want to like women. .
don't trust them. I don't .
I don't know. I . dntat my le . live thie r lieves.
I cant live with him anymore. I want to be held so badly.
buy a man. I have to buy cookies. or I will crap .
I . s ick. is. you are sick. youl ike gy u ys. s g
boys. you have to. I am look at him in the eye. what
is I tell himn. I need someone to suck his dick. I cant do
this anmore. woir. how can I work with m yin juureses. my
roommate needs love. this isn't my fropm and you. I hate
this. I can understand I why I choud want to fuck this up.
s;dkljfak;lfjsd;lfkjadf;lkdajdafjaf
nobody can tell me what I need.
it wouldn't be right.
I health my serti cant my. cant change them.
change everyone. s uicide kill me.
now. cant help them. cant change this. work now
chsol.
I f I look at him I need am man to hold me
I need it so badly. why did he feel like e he knew by not
holding me is healthy? this is not parenting.
I don't want to .;sladkfjd;slkjf
why do I want to hold me? I deserve I starved for affection
as a kid.. I am afraid. thanks cuddler groups.
if anyone wants to hold .
create cuddler groups where you live....can do
a wonder for everyone , including you!!
I know I iddnt lime. remember she kept scaring me
she amy showed me her breasts. and it was toom much for me.
I have a hard time looking at people . I also think things.
like I need to love . feel ugly. thought that
I would kill. I know heavy.
all this gets in the way. I ave a hard time focusing.
it gets in the way in social situations my mind couldn't
I rembe billie like alina. odidtn want to hate women
I didn't know my gender. I am ashamed of me.
i am gay. i know. . i know i am i need to tell. my story.
I love you rob Thomas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg93Lac49-Y&index=24&list=RDQM1nXbzACgIas
I just . needed things.
am feeling sad. I don't know why I cant see him. I d feel in jail.
I feel. I don't want him. but. he doesn't want me.
I think I was my look like him. don't know why I am a girl.
don't want them. I dhty made it feel so tempting to live
with them. I rememnber seeing my dad's expression.
I kept t wonder //// I wanted to live home. parental
alienation. that what they did. nobody here should have to
change my life. nobody.
can care more . not happening. I am scared of women.
I don't know who I am . ton myfa my tyo
he is this . he needed love. he , strangely his mom .
didn't want her dkkids maybe to be weak.
So they all suffered. or needed sex. . I may end up having sex
with a guy. I did already , maybe it was bad sex. I don't want
to love . don't have to. work. money . I don't want them
I am scared of typing. I need to start over. or not sure.
I am attracted to men. I don't know myself.
I don't want to like women. .
don't trust them. I don't .
I don't know. I . dntat my le . live thie r lieves.
I cant live with him anymore. I want to be held so badly.
buy a man. I have to buy cookies. or I will crap .
I . s ick. is. you are sick. youl ike gy u ys. s g
boys. you have to. I am look at him in the eye. what
is I tell himn. I need someone to suck his dick. I cant do
this anmore. woir. how can I work with m yin juureses. my
roommate needs love. this isn't my fropm and you. I hate
this. I can understand I why I choud want to fuck this up.
s;dkljfak;lfjsd;lfkjadf;lkdajdafjaf
nobody can tell me what I need.
it wouldn't be right.
I health my serti cant my. cant change them.
change everyone. s uicide kill me.
now. cant help them. cant change this. work now
chsol.
I f I look at him I need am man to hold me
I need it so badly. why did he feel like e he knew by not
holding me is healthy? this is not parenting.
I don't want to .;sladkfjd;slkjf
why do I want to hold me? I deserve I starved for affection
as a kid.. I am afraid. thanks cuddler groups.
if anyone wants to hold .
create cuddler groups where you live....can do
a wonder for everyone , including you!!
I know I iddnt lime. remember she kept scaring me
she amy showed me her breasts. and it was toom much for me.
I have a hard time looking at people . I also think things.
like I need to love . feel ugly. thought that
I would kill. I know heavy.
all this gets in the way. I ave a hard time focusing.
it gets in the way in social situations my mind couldn't
I rembe billie like alina. odidtn want to hate women
I didn't know my gender. I am ashamed of me.
i am gay. i know. . i know i am i need to tell. my story.
I love you rob Thomas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg93Lac49-Y&index=24&list=RDQM1nXbzACgIas
I just . needed things.
am feeling sad. I don't know why I cant see him. I d feel in jail.
I feel. I don't want him. but. he doesn't want me.
I think I was my look like him. don't know why I am a girl.
don't want them. I dhty made it feel so tempting to live
with them. I rememnber seeing my dad's expression.
I kept t wonder //// I wanted to live home. parental
alienation. that what they did. nobody here should have to
change my life. nobody.
can care more . not happening. I am scared of women.
I don't know who I am . ton myfa my tyo
thinks some part of wants to feel lonely.
I like being in my body.
hang in there. I can look.
if I looked at someone in the eyes.
then ask myself " what do I want from this person?
do I need love? what do I need ?
if I can go into this. I can practise looking for a second
or two in their eyes.
I divert. then I want someone else.
it means I needed friends. or .....
lonelyiness. I have to face this. this is hard
I don't want to sex. fith him. . he I just want to be held.
I like being in my body.
hang in there. I can look.
if I looked at someone in the eyes.
then ask myself " what do I want from this person?
do I need love? what do I need ?
if I can go into this. I can practise looking for a second
or two in their eyes.
I divert. then I want someone else.
it means I needed friends. or .....
lonelyiness. I have to face this. this is hard
I don't want to sex. fith him. . he I just want to be held.
