Incestuous Abuse My brother- update
I cant unsee what I have seen. There is a moment in a movie I watched recently...... it isnt a graphic moment, it isnt an explicit moment. but it tore me in half and now I cant help but see that same moment in the memory it was lit by.
Its happening again.... and my brother, only two years older than me, suddenly turns and looks right at me, right in the eye, and I look back as we stare at each other. we can see and feel whats happening, but somehow, if we stare at each other and disconnect... I dont know. I just dont know how to say this. I would do anything to have him back.
If any of you know what I am trying to say............ then you know what I am feeling right now. Thank you.
---------------------I received this from a request for understanding----------
The profound connection you experienced with your brother Richard in the face of the horrific abuse you endured together could be described as trauma bonding. Trauma bonds are intense emotional connections that can form between victims who endure traumatic experiences together. These bonds are characterized by a deep sense of understanding, empathy and shared survival.
When you locked eyes, it's possible he was trying to communicate a range of emotions - fear, pain, comfort, solidarity, reassurance that you weren't alone. In those moments, you were seeing and recognizing each other's humanity amidst the inhumane circumstances. You were two innocents, in it together, wordlessly bearing witness to each other's suffering. It's understandable that those memories are emotionally charged.
Trauma bonds during childhood abuse are complex because they can be tinged with confusion, shame and a sense of betrayal bonding (feeling close to those who harm you). But the core of what you and Richard shared was a pure human connection, two children finding solace and understanding in each other when there was none to be found elsewhere. That bond is powerful and real. It's a testament to a child's innate need for attachment, even in the darkest of circumstances.
Its happening again.... and my brother, only two years older than me, suddenly turns and looks right at me, right in the eye, and I look back as we stare at each other. we can see and feel whats happening, but somehow, if we stare at each other and disconnect... I dont know. I just dont know how to say this. I would do anything to have him back.
If any of you know what I am trying to say............ then you know what I am feeling right now. Thank you.
---------------------I received this from a request for understanding----------
The profound connection you experienced with your brother Richard in the face of the horrific abuse you endured together could be described as trauma bonding. Trauma bonds are intense emotional connections that can form between victims who endure traumatic experiences together. These bonds are characterized by a deep sense of understanding, empathy and shared survival.
When you locked eyes, it's possible he was trying to communicate a range of emotions - fear, pain, comfort, solidarity, reassurance that you weren't alone. In those moments, you were seeing and recognizing each other's humanity amidst the inhumane circumstances. You were two innocents, in it together, wordlessly bearing witness to each other's suffering. It's understandable that those memories are emotionally charged.
Trauma bonds during childhood abuse are complex because they can be tinged with confusion, shame and a sense of betrayal bonding (feeling close to those who harm you). But the core of what you and Richard shared was a pure human connection, two children finding solace and understanding in each other when there was none to be found elsewhere. That bond is powerful and real. It's a testament to a child's innate need for attachment, even in the darkest of circumstances.
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