Medications jail and flashbacks
Last week had an incident that causes a ruckus not intentionally was just waking up from not to have an overdraft fee and screamed about it with threats that weren’t real was and still is in mania.
So that got me in trouble and I take full responsibility for my madness. Had to stay in jail for 48 hrs over this misunderstanding. Learned a lot of people with there own trauma that where there. I channeled my inner Mandela
And whispered Jesus Judas and Job slowly.
The original charge was for disorderly conduct. Than they the cop in question added intent for mass violence which (they) the police never told me until I went in front of the judge.
In context I did yell and didn’t intent self harm I was struggling with some memories. But in context when about 10 yrs ago I was accused of looking like someone who apparently was trying to steal a car. That was not me but in my naivety I though the cops where interested in speaking which they where not. Had my shin kicked in and thrown to the ground which was concrete in an a semi empty parking lot.
At this incident they asked me about mental illness and I didn’t want to go jnto it with them because that fist experience really freaked me out. Also the cops don’t seem to care much about my pint of view. I understand where they are coming from but these flashbacks hurt deeply. Sometimes the words the anger the rage all leak out.
I got a lawyer yesterday mainly because public defenders are overwhelmed and this new charge “intent for mass violence” is supper serious.
Sharing here because I’m numbing again and have myself some playtime with my inner child.
Part of what the judge added till I go to the house of judgement which is August at the end of the month. Is I can’t leave the dmv area. Or speak with anyone at the bank. Which is what I wanted to do to explain where I was coming from. Which means I also may miss the retreat. Will see if lawyer can help me go.
So that got me in trouble and I take full responsibility for my madness. Had to stay in jail for 48 hrs over this misunderstanding. Learned a lot of people with there own trauma that where there. I channeled my inner Mandela
And whispered Jesus Judas and Job slowly.
The original charge was for disorderly conduct. Than they the cop in question added intent for mass violence which (they) the police never told me until I went in front of the judge.
In context I did yell and didn’t intent self harm I was struggling with some memories. But in context when about 10 yrs ago I was accused of looking like someone who apparently was trying to steal a car. That was not me but in my naivety I though the cops where interested in speaking which they where not. Had my shin kicked in and thrown to the ground which was concrete in an a semi empty parking lot.
At this incident they asked me about mental illness and I didn’t want to go jnto it with them because that fist experience really freaked me out. Also the cops don’t seem to care much about my pint of view. I understand where they are coming from but these flashbacks hurt deeply. Sometimes the words the anger the rage all leak out.
I got a lawyer yesterday mainly because public defenders are overwhelmed and this new charge “intent for mass violence” is supper serious.
Sharing here because I’m numbing again and have myself some playtime with my inner child.
Part of what the judge added till I go to the house of judgement which is August at the end of the month. Is I can’t leave the dmv area. Or speak with anyone at the bank. Which is what I wanted to do to explain where I was coming from. Which means I also may miss the retreat. Will see if lawyer can help me go.
Virtual hug
