Trans Woman with Female Abusers

[Jennifer2]

Dear All,

I have returned, with a better anonymized account.
I am a trans woman with mainly female sexual abusers.
It is a lonely path, as I often feel I am obliged to be silent, so as not to speak over cis women in their fight for safety and healing, and to seem 'more like them', when some of my experiences of abuse make me feel like I will never really be able to be normal.
I want us all to be safe, and to heal.
I posted a summary of my current healing situation and a bit of my journey in the Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender section.
When I am ready to speak more explicitly about the abuse itself, I will also post some aspects of my experience in the section for people with female perpetrators.

Yours,
"Jennifer2"

 

[dreamgurl]

@Jennifer2 I have read both of your posts and of course very sorry you have been treated so wrongly. First I want you to know you have been heard! I am 78 years old so my gender dysphoria/issues occurred in "ancient" times and my survival modes were necessarily different. What I can do is listen, allow you to say what you want, vent, or whatever without judgement. I honestly don't know how much I can help other than I am here for you as solid support. Be Kind to yourself and I wish you Peace!

 

[Hiding from Myself]

Welcome @Jennifer2
While I cannot relate to what it's like to be a trans woman or even to have had female abusers, I & all of us here can relate to being a survivor of SA. I'm so sorry for all that you've been thru & happy to see you've returned with an account that is more suited to your comfort level. I hope this finds you well & you feel encouraged to keep pushing forward as the well deserving & beautiful person that you are.

 

[Jennifer2]

I appreciate all of these comments on my posts. It has been hard for me to really accept I 'deserve' this space. I can always come up with excuses or reasons to think that each of the things I have been through, taken on its own, does not 'qualify' me to be here. It is easy to say to myself dismissive things, like "the people who REALLY need this space don't want to hear about my stuff, when they have gone through _____", or "I'm clearly just sick for 'putting myself through' some of the more avoidable parts of these situations"... But really, I know in my heart that while from some perspective I may have had more agency to avoid things in adulthood, the CSA (that I really can't take responsibility for) had intense formative effects on me, that I am still working through, and I am really just needing to heal and accept any help that fits.