Still reconnecting with my abuser all these years later
Still reconnecting with my abuser all these years later
- Thread starterTimTraum
- Start date
Miggymig22
Registrant
I did the similar thing
Thank you. It's a really sick dynamic, but the feeling of being a "good girl," was something I've had trouble letting go of. The funny thing is, he's not even interested in me anymore, since I'm in my 50s, but I think he likes the power.
I understand all too well. If I had their contact info I would do the same
sadly he is a friend of my father's and we all stayed local.
exactly! No matter what he did to me, I was always his "good girl," even when he had me do films or wahtever.
dcwofhs90
Registrant
Honestly, the way he made me feel was euphoric. A number of firsts with him obviously. If I could go back and relive it all, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Again, sick and twisted…
Trev
Registrant
It’s called imprinting, and the chemicals that release combined with how our brains form a pathway to the feelings that get unleashed there truly is a biology working against the practical and the logical, these are powerful forces and the last thing and least thing that this force would respond to would be the judgement of others on a boy or a man having experienced it, to those who can only look at survivor and just call it sick I would say fuck you, you have no idea what the experience truly is like.
I admit I went back multiple times, yes I was helping my friend who was wheel chair bound but his dad and I would make our way downstairs and it would start.
Yes I now know it was abuse but that’s not how I thought of it as a boy, who thought It was attention love making us both feel good.
I admit I went back multiple times, yes I was helping my friend who was wheel chair bound but his dad and I would make our way downstairs and it would start.
Yes I now know it was abuse but that’s not how I thought of it as a boy, who thought It was attention love making us both feel good.
wow this hits!
dcwofhs90
Registrant
I went back to my abuser literally hundreds of times. I couldn’t get enough of how good he made feel…
JamesCanada1967
Registrant
I can relate, i went back over and over again over the span of 3 years always hoping for more “special times”
I went back to my abuser literally hundreds of times. I couldn’t get enough of how good he made feel…
dcwofhs90
Registrant
It wasn’t just how he made me feel (although that was the biggest part of the appeal); I found the whole secretive nature of it exciting.
Jack1
Registrant
About the time I turned fourteen my most frequent, long term abuser suddenly stopped without explanation. I was devastated, my world flipped upside down. Not only did I need the release that he regularly gave me with orgasms, I needed the physical contact and the emotional charge I got by pleasing him. As much as I tried to entice him, it was to no avail. If he had not stopped I don't know if I ever would have.
Jack1
Registrant
I can relate to this. The secrecy was a big part of the excitement and made the challenge of having frequent sex all the more rewarding.
JamesCanada1967
Registrant
It was the same for me, the secrecy was also very enticing and exciting
JamesCanada1967
Registrant
It was much the same for me, at 13 my main abuser moved away after 3 years of almost daily visits with no warning at all, I was completely lost and devastated as well as depressed
dcwofhs90
Registrant
I went to great lengths (for an 11 year old) to keep it secret because I knew what we were doing was wrong but I didn’t want it to end. But I didn’t know he was actually breaking the law! I don’t know if that would’ve changed anything or not; maybe it would’ve added to the excitement.
I get that for sure!
I get that! like I was at 14 after 10 years of regular visits and he suddenly didnn't want me anymore
