General Thoughts to Share Something Good I Did Today

VICTORY !!! I started today tentatively hopeful it would be better than recent days, and the verdict is in: I've done something today that I doubted I could do - I cut my grass! I used a mower and a weed whacker and not only does my yard look great - I feel Great! For so many years this has been a SUPER TRIGGER event. The smell of cut grass and those lawn mower/gas/oil smells would send me reeling. A lot of my abuse was done to me is a dirty dusty shed/garage thing, and the associative smells... yikes. But today I put in my ear buds, turned on some jams and had at it... determined to not let it mindfuck me. I win! Going to treat myself to a steak dinner on the grill and enjoy my friggin' back yard! Peace.
 
There in a creek in our back yard. Today I was able to be out of my place in the creek and just enjoy it after mowing. Have very little energy from being hypervigilant ladt night. Disconnected from tech for a bit. Took a nap without being hypervigilant.
 
today was my first time using non-emergency medical transportation to go to therapy. i was vulnerable in therapy today, trembled and stuttered but i opened up (not fully but enough) we ended our session calming down and practicing a new calming technique for when i get panic attacks.
 
I had my third session with my new therapist and I told her about the entire experience I had with my cousin when we were both 6, 14, and 16 years old.
 
Continuing from yesterday's VICTORY... I was able to chill in my yard - here are the results:https://sillysurvives.blogspot.com
... notice the nicely cut grass! Trigger free baby!

Hopefully having good days can become a habit!
 
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I ate a whole box of chocolates, by myself. mmm. Forest Gump is wrong. They were nothing like life.
 
yesterday was rough, mostly bedridden and unable to move around the house so i had little choice but to rest, I'm still stubborn and got around the house but miserably so. i spent a decent amount of time connecting to fellow survivors in chat.
today, i was a bit more rested and got up to help with starting the day, taking care of the boys, had breakfast with the family before my wife left for work. reaching out connecting with fellow survivors, continuing to rest and self care, and put my energy towards priorities.
 
1) I'm on day 4 of my grass cutting victory 2) I'm treating myself gentle today 3) I cleaned up my pig-stye of a bedroom! 🤪
 
Silly said:
Continuing from yesterday's VICTORY... I was able to chill in my yard - here are the results:https://sillysurvives.blogspot.com
... notice the nicely cut grass! Trigger free baby!

Hopefully having good days can become a habit!
Click to expand...
ugh whats that nasty looking green stuff by the steak......lol
 
I watched a presentation over zoom "Healing: Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence " with a friend and in support of a friend. helped me lift some of my isolation and being involved has been a great feeling.
 
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