How often did it happen?

[smc1972]

I didn't think it was abuse and that I was making it into something it wasn't. They asked, "Would I want my hypothetical kid to experience what I went through." I told him "No".

Same for me I know it was severe abuse but I still struggle at times thinking I am making a bigger deal of it. My T asked me similar question but also used my younger selves. Would I stop if I saw that today. Of course any of us would. We don’t want any kid to suffer. Not sure why I can’t seem to stop questioning myself.

One moment I'm going over the memorieswhen they spontaneously pop up, trying to cope with the abuse and grooming, next minute I fall back into minimizing it, telling myself to stop making a big deal out of it and noone cares so why should I, despite what I know. I'm been trying to break from that.

It seems a lot of us if not all struggle with this. I feel like I am not deserving of happiness. Care for others but not myself. Hard for me to stop that way of thinking. I try to and try to be supportive of myself but still not easy.