Any advice appreciated
At one time or another, on this rocky road called Life, many of us get to the place of where we are seeking safety. Safety in relationships, finances, spirituality, something. You have had your share of walking a rocky road with someone who apparently did not value you. You are needing to separate yourself from this individual (as you stated you're divorcing). His resistance to treatment and apparent unmet needs are pulling you along into a vortex not of your making but you are being swept into it anyway.
Are you seeking any sort of mental health therapy? Are you able to make a commitment or two for improving your life? Such as talking with someone who has a "different set of eyes" on your difficulties. The problems have already become overwhelming, get to a place in your heart where you feel it's ok to ask someone for help - start small by practicing asking for help with something easy from someone you can trust (outside the family). Carry a list on your cellphone of safe people to call if you need some assurance or just to vent with. Also, by asking for help you do not have to "spill everything". Besides, it's always easier to ask for help with concrete things like asking for a ride somewhere or cooking advice rather than emotional topics. Remember, help can't be forthcoming of the need isn't made known.
Yes, I know it sounds all so clinical but these are some of the ways my therapist helped me when I needed to begin to sort out what was done to me, how I could begin to deal with it, who to talk to if he wasn't available, etc. He moved out of state 4 years ago and took his practice with him. I truly miss his wisdom and guidance.
I've been married 43 years to a terrific woman (we're both in our 70's). We had 3 children who were great kids and are terrific adults. Has life been kind? Depends on the season we're living through. Our first son died - he lived an hour. My family have all died, I'm the only one left alive. We've had our share of awful people in our lives, lost jobs, car accidents, vacations that didn't turn out so well, financial problems and whatever else came our way. We're still here. How much longer isn't up to us. Our health is alright but aging has it's problems.
Forgive an old man's miscellaneous ramblings.............
ps. You've had a hard life and deserve better.
Are you seeking any sort of mental health therapy? Are you able to make a commitment or two for improving your life? Such as talking with someone who has a "different set of eyes" on your difficulties. The problems have already become overwhelming, get to a place in your heart where you feel it's ok to ask someone for help - start small by practicing asking for help with something easy from someone you can trust (outside the family). Carry a list on your cellphone of safe people to call if you need some assurance or just to vent with. Also, by asking for help you do not have to "spill everything". Besides, it's always easier to ask for help with concrete things like asking for a ride somewhere or cooking advice rather than emotional topics. Remember, help can't be forthcoming of the need isn't made known.
Yes, I know it sounds all so clinical but these are some of the ways my therapist helped me when I needed to begin to sort out what was done to me, how I could begin to deal with it, who to talk to if he wasn't available, etc. He moved out of state 4 years ago and took his practice with him. I truly miss his wisdom and guidance.
I've been married 43 years to a terrific woman (we're both in our 70's). We had 3 children who were great kids and are terrific adults. Has life been kind? Depends on the season we're living through. Our first son died - he lived an hour. My family have all died, I'm the only one left alive. We've had our share of awful people in our lives, lost jobs, car accidents, vacations that didn't turn out so well, financial problems and whatever else came our way. We're still here. How much longer isn't up to us. Our health is alright but aging has it's problems.
Forgive an old man's miscellaneous ramblings.............
ps. You've had a hard life and deserve better.
