A question for middle-aged men and older
farfromhome
Registrant
I have a question for the over-40 men in the forum: I have seen posts here and there describing the emergence of previously-suppressed memories. I'm 40 myself and haven't experienced the same thing, in the sense that the events in my memories weren't forgotten so much as just things I intentionally didn't talk about (in many cases I never told anyone until very, very recently). But I also know that my abuser (my father) is very seriously ill with a degenerative condition and will likely die in the next few years.
What I'm wondering is: for those of you around my age or older, did you find that deaths and significant life events triggered the re-emergence of memories? It's not like I want this to happen, but I know how disruptive it can be in my life and I'm worried that more of this stuff is going to bubble back up.
I was so ashamed of what happened (and in the case of something that my dad did to me at age 11, I very much knew in the moment that this was different, that he was molesting me, and that this was the stuff they told us about in school). But I hadn't thought about it in decades, and even at age 11 I knew that I simply could not tell anyone. And I guess I just resolved to never think about it or speak about it again, until that became impossible.
What I'm wondering is: for those of you around my age or older, did you find that deaths and significant life events triggered the re-emergence of memories? It's not like I want this to happen, but I know how disruptive it can be in my life and I'm worried that more of this stuff is going to bubble back up.
I was so ashamed of what happened (and in the case of something that my dad did to me at age 11, I very much knew in the moment that this was different, that he was molesting me, and that this was the stuff they told us about in school). But I hadn't thought about it in decades, and even at age 11 I knew that I simply could not tell anyone. And I guess I just resolved to never think about it or speak about it again, until that became impossible.