Something(s) to Celebrate

[Piecing Fragments]

This is short and oh so sweet. And I am grateful for this place so I can celebrate this with others who will get it.

I got in my car a few minutes ago and realized that after having my doctor check me for a hernia (at my request), I did not feel any arousal! I was thrilled at this realization and I even let out a relieved exhale as I write this.

A neat moment of progress where I didn’t expect it.

Where has this happen for you lately?

PF

 

[TXRed]

That's really great PF!

Progress is tricky because it seems to be overshadowed by all the bad, but at the very least, it deserves recognition when it happens. I may be still pretty early on in my recovery but something to celebrate would be telling someone close(ish) to me that I had been sexually abused. Though it was my boss and it came pretty much out necessity (trying to prevent a breakdown at work) I was able to do it. I didn't think I'd tell anyone let alone my boss of all people but it's helped me navigate some very stressful times at work. Thankfully my boss is very understanding and is allowing me some time to avoid being overwhelmed at work. We set up a code word (kinda) for when I'm having "bad days." just a text with a fire emoji to let him know. I'm able to take personal days when that happens.

 

[GaD3!]

That's really great PF!

Progress is tricky because it seems to be overshadowed by all the bad, but at the very least, it deserves recognition when it happens. I may be still pretty early on in my recovery but something to celebrate would be telling someone close(ish) to me that I had been sexually abused. Though it was my boss and it came pretty much out necessity (trying to prevent a breakdown at work) I was able to do it. I didn't think I'd tell anyone let alone my boss of all people but it's helped me navigate some very stressful times at work. Thankfully my boss is very understanding and is allowing me some time to avoid being overwhelmed at work. We set up a code word (kinda) for when I'm having "bad days." just a text with a fire emoji to let him know. I'm able to take personal days when that happens.

Fortunately, you have a good and caring boss. I had one like that a few years back. For me progress has also been the ability to tell others of the sexual abuse when necessary. For me it is doctors. Before I even get to the appointment, even though I think I am calm and relaxed, my body tells a different story, elevated heart rate and the blood pressure also skyrockets. I now tell them what the issue is,- PTSD. I did not understand what was happening myself at first, but upon reflection it all made sense. The doctor, like an authority figure, one has to be submissive or at least cooperative, one is often in some state of undress, being touched, and the sense of vulnerability. Even typing this is starting to freak me out. It is worse if I have lay down. I can tell them now w/o fighting back tears.

 

[Piecing Fragments]

I was able to do it.

Hell yeah! Way to go, Red!

So thankful to hear he was receptive to that.

Every single share matters. Period.

I can tell them now w/o fighting back tears.

That is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this place of progress.

Before I even get to the appointment, even though I think I am calm and relaxed, my body tells a different story

That makes so much sense and also shows great awareness on your part. So often it's later on that I realize, oh.... I was really shut down or panicky a few minutes ago.

 

[GaD3!]

Hell yeah! Way to go, Red!

So thankful to hear he was receptive to that.

Every single share matters. Period.

That is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this place of progress.


That makes so much sense and also shows great awareness on your part. So often it's later on that I realize, oh.... I was really shut down or panicky a few minutes ago.

It took a long time for me to figure out what was going on. It finally hit me when one doctor had me lay down and HE lifted my shirt up to check my heart- instant red alert panic response, he was concerned that my heart rate was so high. I did not at the moment understand what had happened. After more thought I realized what the issue was.

 

[leith70613]

Sigh.. another relatable thread..

I'm very pleased that you were able to get yourself checked without obstacles. This is very much worth celebrating. Hopefully i will be able to get anywhere near a doctor to fix my issues in the future.

Just last monday i went to a urologist for personal reasons, i was very anxious even before stepping foot into the clinic. My hands were unusually sweaty and shaky. Then i had a panic attack in front of the doctor then passed out. It's actually embarrassing how dramatic it might have seemed to him, god

 

[GaD3!]

Sigh.. another relatable thread..

I'm very pleased that you were able to get yourself checked without obstacles. This is very much worth celebrating. Hopefully i will be able to get anywhere near a doctor to fix my issues in the future.

Just last monday i went to a urologist for personal reasons, i was very anxious even before stepping foot into the clinic. My hands were unusually sweaty and shaky. Then i had a panic attack in front of the doctor then passed out. It's actually embarrassing how dramatic it might have seemed to him, god

Completely understandable! I am sure you are not the first patient who he/she has seen have major anxiety issues in their presence.

 

[GaD3!]

Just another thought on you passing out. It happens and often to the ones one would not expect- the big, tall husky guys.

 

[leith70613]

Completely understandable! I am sure you are not the first patient who he/she has seen have major anxiety issues in their presence.

Thank you for understanding, I really hope that's the case, i didn't get to see the doc's reaction so I would like to think that I'm just overthinking it.

Just another thought on you passing out. It happens and often to the ones one would not expect- the big, tall husky guys.

Hah i guess severe anxiety spares no one : /