Recurring dream vs. memory, trigger
I only have a few moments here right now, then will be back later to respond to posts and such. But I have had this dream, same dream, for several days now, and it is rather disturbing to me, because I do not know if it is memory presented as a dream or if it is just some sick dream in my head. I was thinking that if I post of it here, maybe it will be less stress to me, I will have 'got it out' so to speak, and maybe then it will not bother me so much. I tried to call my mom the day after the first time I had it, to ask her if it was soemthing real, but she was in a bad mood from work, so I felt it not best to bring it up with her then.
TRIGGER
In the dream, I am a young child, like 3 or 4 years old, because my brother was still alive. And it seemed such enough a normal thing in the dream, my father is angry with us, and yelling and screaming, and my brother and I are sitting together in the corner. And then my father, he grabs our pet cat and strangles it in front of us, yelling at us that he is God, he is in charge of who lives and dies, and I remember in the dream just holding onto my brother and crying as he starts hitting at us.
I don't remember, in memory, my father ever saying such thing, although I could imagine him to do it. I do not remember ever having a pet, although for many years I even blocked out memory of my brother, who died when I was just over four years old. I do not know why this bothers me so much, as I already have the fear of my father, and the bad memories of him, and such. But, this bothers me, maybe because for some while, he DID have control over life and death in our house, and proved it. I have not called my mom again to ask her of this. I think in one way, I do not want to know what is true, because then I can have my doubts of it. I'm not sure. Anyway, I need to go for few hours, thank you for anyone who reads this.
Leosha
TRIGGER
In the dream, I am a young child, like 3 or 4 years old, because my brother was still alive. And it seemed such enough a normal thing in the dream, my father is angry with us, and yelling and screaming, and my brother and I are sitting together in the corner. And then my father, he grabs our pet cat and strangles it in front of us, yelling at us that he is God, he is in charge of who lives and dies, and I remember in the dream just holding onto my brother and crying as he starts hitting at us.
I don't remember, in memory, my father ever saying such thing, although I could imagine him to do it. I do not remember ever having a pet, although for many years I even blocked out memory of my brother, who died when I was just over four years old. I do not know why this bothers me so much, as I already have the fear of my father, and the bad memories of him, and such. But, this bothers me, maybe because for some while, he DID have control over life and death in our house, and proved it. I have not called my mom again to ask her of this. I think in one way, I do not want to know what is true, because then I can have my doubts of it. I'm not sure. Anyway, I need to go for few hours, thank you for anyone who reads this.
Leosha
