Prologue
I just wrote a prologue for my memoir, and I thought I'd share it here. The link to my memoir - Skipping Rocks - is linked in my signature / footer.
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As you will read, I had many bad experiences in my childhood with my father when we would go off twice a year to a YMCA camp as a part of the father-son programs the organization had. But not every minute of every day was a terrible experience or time with my father. He was not a mean-spirited man, and he had many good, redeeming qualities about him. It’s part of why he was able to hide things from my mom and from the world for so long. And I have to wonder if he hadn’t confessed to what he did if I would have been believed by anyone.
One of my fond memories of our times at the YMCA camp was during the daytime next to the lake that was central to the camp we went to. I was probably six or seven years old at the time, and as I was standing by the lake, wondering what to do with myself, my father was scouring the rocks next to the lake. I did not know what he was looking for but after he found a rock to his liking, he brought it over to me and showed it to me. The rock was very flat – that much even my young mind realized. It was then that he told me about “skipping rocks.” We used to play catch, and as I watched, my father leaned his arm back and flung it forward like he was a sidearm-throwing pitcher and released the rock upon the lake. The rock hit the water and jumped! It hit the water again and jumped another time! Weren’t rocks heavy and supposed to sink if you threw them in a lake? That rock probably skipped three or four times before sinking into the water.
I was hooked. I immediately started looking for flat rocks and then tried my luck at skipping them. I leaned my arm back threw that rock for all I was worth… plunk! It sunk straight into the lake without even a single skip. I found a second rock and tried again. Plunk! A third rock… plunk! I was getting frustrated. My father came over and showed me how I needed to hold the rock in the circle between my thumb and forefinger and told me that I had to keep it flat to the ground when I released it. I was pretty sure I understood. I found a new rock, pulled my arm back again, and… plunk! Ugh! The last piece of advice then came from my father: don’t try so hard… don’t throw it so hard. And taking this advice into my technique, I was finally able to skip rocks – for at least a few skips; never across the lake, but I finally had the success to keep me trying.
The healing journey I’ve been on is very, very much like that childhood experience. I tried so hard to figure things out and to heal myself from about the age of 12 until I was 50. But like those first attempts at skipping rocks, many times I’d see my attempts plunk and sink without even a single skip. Over the years, I did manage to get a few skips… but still never very far.
In 2021, I decided I was going to stop trying so hard. I was going to get help – from someone who was actually qualified to help me (unlike the people I had previously gone to for help). And I found that the new rocks I tried skipping… finally started getting me more skips across the water.
In 2024, my family and I went to church at our Saturday night service. And that night I decided to go forward at church for prayer during the prayer time afforded to us during worship. I have chronic back pain and was really having a lot of issues that day. And I saw a man go forward as a part of the prayer team who I knew by reputation. He was a former missionary to the east, and there were stories of him holding prayer meetings for all comers, and of God healing people through this man. I did not know him personally, and he did not know me at all. But that night I hurt badly enough I thought, “Why not?”
As the worship music continued to play around us, he asked me what was going on and I told him about my back issues. He said okay and asked me to turn around so he could put his hand on my back to pray for me. He started praying out loud as I closed my eyes, and suddenly it felt like something was washing over my whole body. The best way I can describe it is that it was like standing in a shower, but instead of water it was showering down electricity – all over my body. I wanted the sensation to keep going… figuring the longer it went on, the more chance I might actually be getting my back pain taken away. But… all of a sudden, he stopped praying and removed his hand! No!
He asked me to turn around. He said to me, “While I was praying for you, I got a picture in mind. I’m not sure if you’ve ever skipped rocks?” I told him that I had. He said, “Well, I got a picture of you standing on one side of a lake with a rock in your hand. You threw the first rock, and it plunked right in the water without even skipping. You tried a couple more, and got a few skips, but got nowhere near to the rocks skipping to the other side of the lake.” Wow… this paralleled my first rock skipping experience and it also paralleled how I have felt a lot of the time on this healing journey. But he continued: “I’m not sure what this is about, but God wants you to not get discouraged. Don’t lose hope. And keep going. He will help you skip that rock to the other side of the lake.” At that point I thanked him and went back to my seat.
I smiled, because although he had no idea the path I have been walking – God did. And God cared enough to drop some encouragement and hope my way to keep me going. I also realized that although I went forward for healing in my body, God was more concerned about healing in my soul.
The rocks I’ve been skipping recently have skipped farther than I ever thought they could. And you know what? My back felt better that night too. Not perfect. But better. And that… is what this journey has been. I’m not sure if I’ll ever skip that rock to the other side of the lake in this lifetime or not. But if not… I’m sure God will join me by the lakeside in the next lifetime to give me some additional tips on my technique, and I will 100% skip that rock all the way across.
- MO (5/25/2025)
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Prologue
I chose the title, Skipping Rocks, because of a cool experience I had in 2024. Previously, I titled this memoir Memories, but I don’t think that title captured much of the heart of what I’ve written.As you will read, I had many bad experiences in my childhood with my father when we would go off twice a year to a YMCA camp as a part of the father-son programs the organization had. But not every minute of every day was a terrible experience or time with my father. He was not a mean-spirited man, and he had many good, redeeming qualities about him. It’s part of why he was able to hide things from my mom and from the world for so long. And I have to wonder if he hadn’t confessed to what he did if I would have been believed by anyone.
One of my fond memories of our times at the YMCA camp was during the daytime next to the lake that was central to the camp we went to. I was probably six or seven years old at the time, and as I was standing by the lake, wondering what to do with myself, my father was scouring the rocks next to the lake. I did not know what he was looking for but after he found a rock to his liking, he brought it over to me and showed it to me. The rock was very flat – that much even my young mind realized. It was then that he told me about “skipping rocks.” We used to play catch, and as I watched, my father leaned his arm back and flung it forward like he was a sidearm-throwing pitcher and released the rock upon the lake. The rock hit the water and jumped! It hit the water again and jumped another time! Weren’t rocks heavy and supposed to sink if you threw them in a lake? That rock probably skipped three or four times before sinking into the water.
I was hooked. I immediately started looking for flat rocks and then tried my luck at skipping them. I leaned my arm back threw that rock for all I was worth… plunk! It sunk straight into the lake without even a single skip. I found a second rock and tried again. Plunk! A third rock… plunk! I was getting frustrated. My father came over and showed me how I needed to hold the rock in the circle between my thumb and forefinger and told me that I had to keep it flat to the ground when I released it. I was pretty sure I understood. I found a new rock, pulled my arm back again, and… plunk! Ugh! The last piece of advice then came from my father: don’t try so hard… don’t throw it so hard. And taking this advice into my technique, I was finally able to skip rocks – for at least a few skips; never across the lake, but I finally had the success to keep me trying.
The healing journey I’ve been on is very, very much like that childhood experience. I tried so hard to figure things out and to heal myself from about the age of 12 until I was 50. But like those first attempts at skipping rocks, many times I’d see my attempts plunk and sink without even a single skip. Over the years, I did manage to get a few skips… but still never very far.
In 2021, I decided I was going to stop trying so hard. I was going to get help – from someone who was actually qualified to help me (unlike the people I had previously gone to for help). And I found that the new rocks I tried skipping… finally started getting me more skips across the water.
In 2024, my family and I went to church at our Saturday night service. And that night I decided to go forward at church for prayer during the prayer time afforded to us during worship. I have chronic back pain and was really having a lot of issues that day. And I saw a man go forward as a part of the prayer team who I knew by reputation. He was a former missionary to the east, and there were stories of him holding prayer meetings for all comers, and of God healing people through this man. I did not know him personally, and he did not know me at all. But that night I hurt badly enough I thought, “Why not?”
As the worship music continued to play around us, he asked me what was going on and I told him about my back issues. He said okay and asked me to turn around so he could put his hand on my back to pray for me. He started praying out loud as I closed my eyes, and suddenly it felt like something was washing over my whole body. The best way I can describe it is that it was like standing in a shower, but instead of water it was showering down electricity – all over my body. I wanted the sensation to keep going… figuring the longer it went on, the more chance I might actually be getting my back pain taken away. But… all of a sudden, he stopped praying and removed his hand! No!
He asked me to turn around. He said to me, “While I was praying for you, I got a picture in mind. I’m not sure if you’ve ever skipped rocks?” I told him that I had. He said, “Well, I got a picture of you standing on one side of a lake with a rock in your hand. You threw the first rock, and it plunked right in the water without even skipping. You tried a couple more, and got a few skips, but got nowhere near to the rocks skipping to the other side of the lake.” Wow… this paralleled my first rock skipping experience and it also paralleled how I have felt a lot of the time on this healing journey. But he continued: “I’m not sure what this is about, but God wants you to not get discouraged. Don’t lose hope. And keep going. He will help you skip that rock to the other side of the lake.” At that point I thanked him and went back to my seat.
I smiled, because although he had no idea the path I have been walking – God did. And God cared enough to drop some encouragement and hope my way to keep me going. I also realized that although I went forward for healing in my body, God was more concerned about healing in my soul.
The rocks I’ve been skipping recently have skipped farther than I ever thought they could. And you know what? My back felt better that night too. Not perfect. But better. And that… is what this journey has been. I’m not sure if I’ll ever skip that rock to the other side of the lake in this lifetime or not. But if not… I’m sure God will join me by the lakeside in the next lifetime to give me some additional tips on my technique, and I will 100% skip that rock all the way across.
- MO (5/25/2025)
