Not sure where to start

[ge89]

Hi, this is my first time posting in here. Not sure what to expect.

I have recently been coming out of a place of denial of being sexually abused as a child. It’s been harder recently to deny as I’ve had more flashbacks.

I don’t remember how young I was when it started but it was ongoing until I was probably 7, maybe older, by my uncle and grandmother. I suspect I was in diapers when it started seeing how I developed ABDL tendencies at young age and still wrestle with the (unwanted) desire. I realize it’s how I coped, and one of the ways I survived. I struggle with dissociation, which has also been a coping mechanism that has been operating on autopilot.

I’m 36 years old, male - who’s never truly dealt with the pain of the sexual abuse (and a one-time event where my uncle physically abused me when I was 14 years old).

Where did you all start your healing journey? A particular therapist? EMDR? An intensive?

I’m not sure how to deal with it. It feels overwhelming because I’ve denied it for so many years. But now, it feels like I can’t avoid dealing with it.

 

[Hiding from Myself]

Welcome @ge89
Sorry to hear about what you experienced as a child & the subsequent after-effects of such experiences. I hope you find this site & the men here to be as supportive as I have.

Where you start is really up to you & what you're comfortable with. For me, I reached a point where I didn't know where else to turn but to search out a therapist, which eventually led me here. Best of luck to you. Feel free to reach out any time if you'd like.

 

[Curiouspaints]

I’m 36 years old, male - who’s never truly dealt with the pain of the sexual abuse (and a one-time event where my uncle physically abused me when I was 14 years old).

Where did you all start your healing journey? A particular therapist? EMDR? An intensive?

I’m not sure how to deal with it. It feels overwhelming because I’ve denied it for so many years. But now, it feels like I can’t avoid dealing with it.

@ge89 you where heard and hour not alone on your journey
My healing started when about 2010
Saw a therapist and tried Emdr my current therapist is retiring.
My DMs are open if I can help with anything.

 

[Georgie]

Poking around here first is probably your best start. There's such a variety of abuse here that you may get a number of different ideas for coping. A therapist is probably a good idea either sooner or later.

 

[ge89]

Thank you all for your responses. I’ve been to therapy but never directly for the abuse. I’ve mentioned it but never done the hard work to feel the pain and process the memories.

 

[GaD3!]

First off welcome to MS. I am glad that you have found MS, but also sorry that you have a reason to be here.

In regards to your question about where to start- I would suggest you seek out the help of a therapist trained in dealing with sexual abuse and trauma issues. EMDR can be very helpful, ( I have done a lot of EMDR), but one needs to have a good working relationship with a therapist they feel comfortable with and trust before doing EMDR- it can be intense at times. It is also important that if you do EMDR that it be with a therapist certified in EMDR therapy. If this is something that you want to pursue, check out the EMDRIA website, they have a listing of certified practitioners by zip code. It is good that you are dealing with the abuse at this point in your life, for many it is not until later in life. If I can ever be of any help, please feel free to send a direct message. I truly wish you peace and healing. Take care.

 

[Tele1]

Hi ge89,

Just wanted to welcome you to MS. Finding this place is a great start. The support that you will find here has been great for me. You will find guys that can truly understand you. Also the feeling of not being alone was a big help for me. Take your time, read around the site. reach out if you have any question. Hope you have a great day

 

[WreckedRick]

I am new here (today). I stared with w a therapist when I finally accepted I am a wreck bro my past. Been in therapy over a year now. He suggested this site to me.

 

[Bluedogone]

Hi @ge89 Welcome
I’m sorry you’ve had the experiences that made it necessary to seek out MS, but glad you’ve decided to deal with it now. A therapist trained specifically in dealing with childhood sexual abuse would be an excellent start in your healing journey. I would think the sooner the better, but there’s no one size fits all with therapy. Over the years I’ve had five therapists and those I’ve felt a marked improvement with I had a comfortable relationship with, so to me it’s vital that you feel comfortable enough to discuss your situation frankly and with a no holds barred attitude. Unless this scenario is present it’s just a waste of time and money. Best wishes and good luck. And welcome to MS

 

[TryingToHealToo]

Welcome. Browsing around here helped me a lot, in some ways as much as therapy. I learned I wasn’t alone either in having been abused or with the types of effects it causes. Everyone experienced something unique and have unique challenges, but so many of the effects are the same or at least similar for many survivors. Finding a therapist who knows how to treat CSA survivors and trauma is crucial. There are threads around here on how to find a therapist.

You shouldn’t force yourself to go faster than you are ready for. You need to be able to trust your therapist before you start digging into things. It’s ok to keep things very general for awhile. At the same time dealing with the flashbacks is rather urgent for you I suspect. Hence the recommendation of EMDR, which is one of the more effective treatments for that for some people. I don’t have any experience with it myself. There are medications that can help as well.

Good luck and don’t be afraid to ask questions or to DM people if you think they could help.

 

[LittleSteve]

Hi, this is my first time posting in here. Not sure what to expect.

I have recently been coming out of a place of denial of being sexually abused as a child. It’s been harder recently to deny as I’ve had more flashbacks.

I don’t remember how young I was when it started but it was ongoing until I was probably 7, maybe older, by my uncle and grandmother. I suspect I was in diapers when it started seeing how I developed ABDL tendencies at young age and still wrestle with the (unwanted) desire. I realize it’s how I coped, and one of the ways I survived. I struggle with dissociation, which has also been a coping mechanism that has been operating on autopilot.

I’m 36 years old, male - who’s never truly dealt with the pain of the sexual abuse (and a one-time event where my uncle physically abused me when I was 14 years old).

Where did you all start your healing journey? A particular therapist? EMDR? An intensive?

I’m not sure how to deal with it. It feels overwhelming because I’ve denied it for so many years. But now, it feels like I can’t avoid dealing with it.

Welcome. My experience I buried for 60 years, my mind decided that was long enough and it started slow, but the fire hose is opened. I’m dealing with stuff every day so I’d say you’ve already taken your first step on your healing journey just coming here. I found a fantastic therapist who is trauma aware and specialized in it. That is help me immensely each of us is different and our journeys are all different. You’ve taken a good first step we’ve all have our own stories, but we’ve all been through something similar. It may affect us all in different ways but we share this together.