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[Partakes]

Hello everyone, I'm completely new to this forum; my wife discovered it for me and thought it might be of help. I'm a 41-year-old man who, just two weeks ago, told my current wife about the abuse I endured from my first wife—emotional and psychological—while we were engaged and after we married, as well as similar and very physical mistreatment by her ex-boyfriend. She struggled to hear what had happened and is stunned that I carried it on my own for twenty years without confiding in anyone. Since sharing this with her, it's as if an old wound has been torn open. I'm struggling to sleep, continuously dream about the past, and in some nightmares my current wife and her ex-husband are now the ones inflicting the abuse instead of my ex-wife and her ex-boyfriend. I've begun seeing a therapist, but sessions are still fresh and we haven't delved into all the details yet, so I'm hoping this space can offer some support.

 

[GaD3!]

Welcome to MS. I am sorry that you have a reason to be here. I am glad that your wife found this site. You are not alone here. You have many brother survivors, who understand what you are dealing with and they care. There is much support here.

Thankfully you are working with a therapist to deal with the abuse. It is extremely difficult to heal without help. I truly wish you peace and healing. Take care.

 

[LittleSteve]

Hello everyone, I'm completely new to this forum; my wife discovered it for me and thought it might be of help. I'm a 41-year-old man who, just two weeks ago, told my current wife about the abuse I endured from my first wife—emotional and psychological—while we were engaged and after we married, as well as similar and very physical mistreatment by her ex-boyfriend. She struggled to hear what had happened and is stunned that I carried it on my own for twenty years without confiding in anyone. Since sharing this with her, it's as if an old wound has been torn open. I'm struggling to sleep, continuously dream about the past, and in some nightmares my current wife and her ex-husband are now the ones inflicting the abuse instead of my ex-wife and her ex-boyfriend. I've begun seeing a therapist, but sessions are still fresh and we haven't delved into all the details yet, so I'm hoping this space can offer some support.

welcome, but I’m sorry for the reason you’re here. I’m glad to hear you started with the therapist. I hope there are trauma aware. Therapist specializes in this type of stuff that can be very important. Don’t feel you need to share anymore than you’re comfortable with, only share what you want when you want and what feels OK for you. So take a look around and read some stories. We do have a section for women abusers and that you may find very helpful. Each of our situations may have been different, but the feelings, the problems the dreams all of that is very similar. We also have a chat and in the morning there’s usually a group in the morning feel free to drop in and say hi, or you don’t have the same thing you can just sit and listen many times it’s very lighthearted can be about what’s going on in peoples lives other times it can be extremely serious. Don’t feel you have to stay if it gets too much you can simply leave, but it’s a good way to connect up with people and start being able to talk about what happened to you. So get comfortable and welcome.

 

[Bluedogone]

Hi @Partakes WELCOME

I'm glad you've joined us at MS and so sorry for all the misery and emotional stress you carried alone for 20 years. Glad your wife cared enough to point you in our direction. We are a caring emphatic non-judgemental group of guys who can easily identify with abuse and all it's horrible forms.

it's as if an old wound has been torn open. I'm struggling to sleep, continuously dream about the past, and in some nightmares my current wife and her ex-husband are now the ones inflicting the abuse instead of my ex-wife and her ex-boyfriend.

Even though it can be very painful, sometimes it's the best thing if an old wound is torn away to release you from past memories. Your therapist should be most helpful in helping you process your emotions. Keep writing, keep posting, we care and you are heard. And take care of yourself.