My story part 1
cjchopes
Registrant
I want to thank everyone here for taking the time to read this. I know these topics are heavy, and I don’t take your attention or care lightly. I’m sharing at a pace that feels as safe as I can manage, and my intention is not to shock or overwhelm, but to be honest about the impact this has had on me. Please take care of yourselves as you read, and feel free to step away if anything feels too activating.
This is my story as it happened it's not complete it's a start. I will post a part two with the rest.
I was adopted at a year old. Always told that I special because I was chosen. What are the reasons that I was put up for adoption was that there was indication of sexual abuse. I have never got a clearance on what that abuse was of what the evidence was. Here is what I do know.
My dad would make me take showers with him and take naps everyday of his visitation. I remember being 5 or 6 years old. In the shower is I remember him standing underneath the water and me standing in front of him he would have me masturbate him and perform oral stimulation with the mouth. I remember him being uncircumcised same as me. The naps we took were not always naps. Sometimes it in the corner of the room I remember that sound of his hands going out of my skin I remember the sensation of that too. He would touch me follow me and I would perform oral stimulation on him and then he would masturbate to completion usually in my mouth. Hey baby having to swallow it and lift my tongue and open my mouth and show him I had swallowed it. And I would go take a nap if I moved during that app if I will come up at all he would become physically violent. He would spank me on my butt and in front of my privates. Hear it squeeze my penis into testicles he would flick my penis or testicles remember it hurting so bad but again if I resisted at all I got it bad. He would hit me slap me or kick me he would put me in submission holds. The kind where I would be laying on my stomach on the floor or bed or wherever I was I would be naked or clothed he would be screaming at me calling me names hitting me pulling my hair while I was trying to break free. That was futile and never worked. He would take my arms and cross them across my chest and pull them back with his knee in my back I remember sometimes he would squeeze me on my abdomen and my ribs. One time I step brother came in to try and help me and I don't know what happened what I do know is that I'm told that I had a wall on the during the altercation my dad broke my step Brothers wrists. If I was bad but he was upset with me for whatever reason he would rip or cut my clothes off. He would talk to me about why what I did was bad why was being punished. And then he would take me to the front door push me out on the front porch and lock the door. People with drive by walk by be doing their yard work and there are you guys outside naked.
When I was around 7:00 my sister became engaged to her boyfriend. He was awesome. I remember when they were dating and my parents got divorced he would take me to the mall to the park he would take me to the movies or to see my sister at her work she would take me to see him at his work I hung out with him a lot. I would spend time at their apartment. And before this it was a lot of fun and he was my buddy and I was his. I remember innocent little things that you would do we're even with my sister there. Like the scene from silence of the lambs when that man text his privates between his legs and does that dance he used to do that all the time. We changed to go swimming at the pool in their room together. For a long time even before they abused started they would kiss each other on the mouth that was our greeting it was normal.
I remember one day he asked me if I wanted to see something it was porn magazine. He would show me the women in it and the men who talk about what they were doing tell me it felt good. I remember in the beginning it was just touching and fondling kissing and caressing. Telling you I was nice and beautiful and a good boy and that I was so special. That's so different than my previous abuse. I think I don't know anyway... It progressed to his being naked laying in the bed in their room I would have to perform oral sex and he would perform oral sex on me this was the first time I remember him looking his finger and playing with my butt. I don't understand this and I'm sorry if the seems strange - I remember thinking that it felt so good. I think maybe because these are my first experiences with somebody being loving and kind in this way.
One day he took my clothes off and he saw way back and there was a bruise he asked what happened and I told him my dad it hit me. Can you run over to my dad's house and told him that if he ever hit me again that he would kill him. My dad never physically or sexually abused me after that. For at least a year it went on like this. I'm giving me beer us being sexual together. One day I think I had to have been eight and a half or 9 when he was performing oral sex on me when he put his finger inside of me it hurt. This was the first time he hurt me. Unfortunately it would not be the last.
We are at the pool and one of his friends came and swim with us. My sister went to work and I continued swimming with them. This man was still he was broad he was big and Hispanic. I don't remember his name. I remember having sips of beer at the pool with them swimming hang out. All three of us with some around the pool and take turns going under the water and seeing who could grab each other's penis. We went back to the apartment in diary going into the living room and he started to undress me in front of this new guy and talk to him about what a good boy I was and remind me that I was good and special. I remember performing oral sex on his friend well they both talked about me sexually my penis my development my body. I wasn't developed I don't know what they were talking about or why. I remember my sister's fiance sitting in the end style behind me he reached under me and played with my penis and testicles with one hand and put his finger inside me again with the other and that they asked me if I wanted to try something different I told him sure.
We went to the bedroom my sister's fiance went to the closet and got one of his magazines and Polaroid camera and they would show me pictures and we would try and recreate them. This is the first time he called me a sexy little fucker. After about 2 or 3 years I saw my sisters engagement ring on the counter I picked it up and I was playing with it then I lost it. He became so upset with her and he broke up with her. After that I never saw him again.
As I said I haven't shared everything I just wanted to share what I could right now.
I will share more later. Thank you for reading.
This is my story as it happened it's not complete it's a start. I will post a part two with the rest.
I was adopted at a year old. Always told that I special because I was chosen. What are the reasons that I was put up for adoption was that there was indication of sexual abuse. I have never got a clearance on what that abuse was of what the evidence was. Here is what I do know.
My dad would make me take showers with him and take naps everyday of his visitation. I remember being 5 or 6 years old. In the shower is I remember him standing underneath the water and me standing in front of him he would have me masturbate him and perform oral stimulation with the mouth. I remember him being uncircumcised same as me. The naps we took were not always naps. Sometimes it in the corner of the room I remember that sound of his hands going out of my skin I remember the sensation of that too. He would touch me follow me and I would perform oral stimulation on him and then he would masturbate to completion usually in my mouth. Hey baby having to swallow it and lift my tongue and open my mouth and show him I had swallowed it. And I would go take a nap if I moved during that app if I will come up at all he would become physically violent. He would spank me on my butt and in front of my privates. Hear it squeeze my penis into testicles he would flick my penis or testicles remember it hurting so bad but again if I resisted at all I got it bad. He would hit me slap me or kick me he would put me in submission holds. The kind where I would be laying on my stomach on the floor or bed or wherever I was I would be naked or clothed he would be screaming at me calling me names hitting me pulling my hair while I was trying to break free. That was futile and never worked. He would take my arms and cross them across my chest and pull them back with his knee in my back I remember sometimes he would squeeze me on my abdomen and my ribs. One time I step brother came in to try and help me and I don't know what happened what I do know is that I'm told that I had a wall on the during the altercation my dad broke my step Brothers wrists. If I was bad but he was upset with me for whatever reason he would rip or cut my clothes off. He would talk to me about why what I did was bad why was being punished. And then he would take me to the front door push me out on the front porch and lock the door. People with drive by walk by be doing their yard work and there are you guys outside naked.
When I was around 7:00 my sister became engaged to her boyfriend. He was awesome. I remember when they were dating and my parents got divorced he would take me to the mall to the park he would take me to the movies or to see my sister at her work she would take me to see him at his work I hung out with him a lot. I would spend time at their apartment. And before this it was a lot of fun and he was my buddy and I was his. I remember innocent little things that you would do we're even with my sister there. Like the scene from silence of the lambs when that man text his privates between his legs and does that dance he used to do that all the time. We changed to go swimming at the pool in their room together. For a long time even before they abused started they would kiss each other on the mouth that was our greeting it was normal.
I remember one day he asked me if I wanted to see something it was porn magazine. He would show me the women in it and the men who talk about what they were doing tell me it felt good. I remember in the beginning it was just touching and fondling kissing and caressing. Telling you I was nice and beautiful and a good boy and that I was so special. That's so different than my previous abuse. I think I don't know anyway... It progressed to his being naked laying in the bed in their room I would have to perform oral sex and he would perform oral sex on me this was the first time I remember him looking his finger and playing with my butt. I don't understand this and I'm sorry if the seems strange - I remember thinking that it felt so good. I think maybe because these are my first experiences with somebody being loving and kind in this way.
One day he took my clothes off and he saw way back and there was a bruise he asked what happened and I told him my dad it hit me. Can you run over to my dad's house and told him that if he ever hit me again that he would kill him. My dad never physically or sexually abused me after that. For at least a year it went on like this. I'm giving me beer us being sexual together. One day I think I had to have been eight and a half or 9 when he was performing oral sex on me when he put his finger inside of me it hurt. This was the first time he hurt me. Unfortunately it would not be the last.
We are at the pool and one of his friends came and swim with us. My sister went to work and I continued swimming with them. This man was still he was broad he was big and Hispanic. I don't remember his name. I remember having sips of beer at the pool with them swimming hang out. All three of us with some around the pool and take turns going under the water and seeing who could grab each other's penis. We went back to the apartment in diary going into the living room and he started to undress me in front of this new guy and talk to him about what a good boy I was and remind me that I was good and special. I remember performing oral sex on his friend well they both talked about me sexually my penis my development my body. I wasn't developed I don't know what they were talking about or why. I remember my sister's fiance sitting in the end style behind me he reached under me and played with my penis and testicles with one hand and put his finger inside me again with the other and that they asked me if I wanted to try something different I told him sure.
We went to the bedroom my sister's fiance went to the closet and got one of his magazines and Polaroid camera and they would show me pictures and we would try and recreate them. This is the first time he called me a sexy little fucker. After about 2 or 3 years I saw my sisters engagement ring on the counter I picked it up and I was playing with it then I lost it. He became so upset with her and he broke up with her. After that I never saw him again.
As I said I haven't shared everything I just wanted to share what I could right now.
I will share more later. Thank you for reading.
