Memories yeah they've been present

[van2500]

From what I have been seeing on posts with you guys that go to therapy, it seem l8ke the T tries to bring the memories to the forefront.
My question is, what if the memories have never been buried, but always there?
I know the years it basically occurred, the places, and what's been done.

My life has been like a swamp in a sense the effects from what has been done basically led my impulses and led to many many years of PnM.

Nowadays I know what I would like my life to be like but I am just so burned out on so many levels in many ways.
It's like just floating through life alot of times.
I can picture goals, but don't have the energy or motavation, due to limitations.

 

[Healing light]

Everyone's brain process the memories in its own way

my memory of the abuse is relatively clear and always has been certainly the older childhood and early adulthood
Some events my memories are super clear
Like I could tell you really small insignificant details about that day
The younger abuse not so much that's more hazy

In therapy i have talked for the first time about some of those memories and the impact the abuse I suffered has had and does have on my life now

In therapy I have learnt coping strategies and how to express myself more freely
And more recently iv been in bereavement therapy learning how to process the pain of loss and refocus from that pain

Therapy has benefitted me alot

I'm not sure what PnM means

But I spent years in active addiction and negative self destructive behaviour loops and made some really shitty choices whilst trying to cope

I hear you, the journey seems exhausting to me right now, it's a decade since I disclosed. I'm not sure what the future holds or what direction I'm going right now but this is pretty normal feelings for me.

I hope being here at Ms helps you like has me
Peace HL

 

[van2500]

I'm not sure what PnM means

Porn and masturbation

 

[van2500]

Everyone's brain process the memories in its own way

my memory of the abuse is relatively clear and always has been certainly the older childhood and early adulthood
Some events my memories are super clear
Like I could tell you really small insignificant details about that day
The younger abuse not so much that's more hazy

In therapy i have talked for the first time about some of those memories and the impact the abuse I suffered has had and does have on my life now

In therapy I have learnt coping strategies and how to express myself more freely
And more recently iv been in bereavement therapy learning how to process the pain of loss and refocus from that pain

Therapy has benefitted me alot

I'm not sure what PnM means

But I spent years in active addiction and negative self destructive behaviour loops and made some really shitty choices whilst trying to cope

I hear you, the journey seems exhausting to me right now, it's a decade since I disclosed. I'm not sure what the future holds or what direction I'm going right now but this is pretty normal feelings for me.

I hope being here at Ms helps you like has me
Peace HL

Thanks HL,
I know it takes time and everyone processes differently. In fact I mentioned that in a comment on a different post.

I am glad the T is helping you.
I have thought about going to therapy at different times, but can't bring myself to do it yet.
Good luck on your healing journey.

 

[Silly]

my T is an addiction specialist as well trauma - many have multiple "specialties" that they can use employ when different issues arise.

From what I have been seeing on posts with you guys that go to therapy, it seem l8ke the T tries to bring the memories to the forefront.
My question is, what if the memories have never been buried, but always there? I know the years it basically occurred, the places, and what's been done.

Chances are that you still need help processing these traumatic events. I never truly forgot everything that happened. So if/when you search for a therapist, there are many thay can help in multiple areas. Hope this helps a bit.

 

[van2500]

my T is an addiction specialist as well trauma - many have multiple "specialties" that they can use employ when different issues arise.

Chances are that you still need help processing these traumatic events. I never truly forgot everything that happened. So if/when you search for a therapist, there are many thay can help in multiple areas. Hope this helps a bit.

Thanks Silly.

 

[Healing light]

Porn and masturbation

Thanks. I hear you.

I know it takes time and everyone processes differently. In fact I mentioned that in a comment on a different post.

The brains fascinates me

My brain does seem to place things in compartments so when one memory is triggered others can follow sometimes and my brains like remember when. X y and z happened and I'm just trying to go about my day in current time while it regurates the past

Good luck on your healing journey

Thank you, you too