I'm leaving MS. Thank you for everything!!
blackrabbit223
Registrant
It's been no secret that I've been struggling with my gender for a long time, for almost 3 years now. The whole Ellie thing, feeling "in between" male and female, all of that. There's parts that I haven't talked about here, though.
I've secretly been unhappy with being a trans man. Not because of any slight against men, but just my personal experience. Sometimes I regret transitioning socially and medically. There's days where I wish I never started taking testosterone or got surgery. Those regrets have piled higher and higher since mid-2023 and reached a boiling point last week after my sister got engaged. I had the realization that at my own wedding, I don't want to be the groom.
I want to be the bride.
So I've finally come to a tough decision. I'm going to be detransitioning back to female. I want to emphasize a point - detransition is very rare in the transgender community. I'm the exception, not the rule here.
As for why, I believe that transitioning felt like my only option to escape the abuse committed by my ex-partner. The worst of my pain happened when I was still a woman, and I needed out. I didn't understand the severity of my situation, and I didn't think to ask anyone around me for help. Despite all that, though, I was happier as a woman, as a butch lesbian instead of a man. And that's how I'm going to stay.
Because I don't know any male survivors personally, I won't be on this website anymore. But if I happen to meet any men in need of a helping hand, I'll refer them here if they so wish.
It's been great getting to know you all on our corner of the internet, and I'm grateful for my time here. I do have my regrets, but signing up for MaleSurvivor isn't one of them. I hope that, despite our differences now, my journey can still help someone here know they're not alone.
Thank you so much for all your wisdom and patience with me.
See you around,
Black Rabbit.
p.s. If you manage to find me in the wild, hello!
I've secretly been unhappy with being a trans man. Not because of any slight against men, but just my personal experience. Sometimes I regret transitioning socially and medically. There's days where I wish I never started taking testosterone or got surgery. Those regrets have piled higher and higher since mid-2023 and reached a boiling point last week after my sister got engaged. I had the realization that at my own wedding, I don't want to be the groom.
I want to be the bride.
So I've finally come to a tough decision. I'm going to be detransitioning back to female. I want to emphasize a point - detransition is very rare in the transgender community. I'm the exception, not the rule here.
As for why, I believe that transitioning felt like my only option to escape the abuse committed by my ex-partner. The worst of my pain happened when I was still a woman, and I needed out. I didn't understand the severity of my situation, and I didn't think to ask anyone around me for help. Despite all that, though, I was happier as a woman, as a butch lesbian instead of a man. And that's how I'm going to stay.
Because I don't know any male survivors personally, I won't be on this website anymore. But if I happen to meet any men in need of a helping hand, I'll refer them here if they so wish.
It's been great getting to know you all on our corner of the internet, and I'm grateful for my time here. I do have my regrets, but signing up for MaleSurvivor isn't one of them. I hope that, despite our differences now, my journey can still help someone here know they're not alone.
Thank you so much for all your wisdom and patience with me.
See you around,
Black Rabbit.
p.s. If you manage to find me in the wild, hello!
