Trev,
That's a powerful feeling you're expressing, and I bet every abused teenager feels that way at some point. No one is to be trusted, and if anyone seems trustworthy that's just a fraud and it means he wants something. And what does he want? What they all want from me - sex.
I know you're not in the mood to be calmed down, and that's okay. I will just say you aren't alone or freaking out. Unfortunately, it's a truth about this stuff that in order to get past it we have to go straight through it, as you are doing. No short cuts.
Much love,
Larry