*Triggers Possible* Hello, wondering if my experience belongs here

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*Triggers Possible* Hello, wondering if my experience belongs here

greensprout

Registrant
Hello, my name (or at least the name I'm choosing to use here) is Sprout. I'm 25 years old and transmasculine. I recently had to end a 4 year relationship because of something that happened. I'm really not sure how to classify it but it's been hurting me and I need to talk about it. It's made my pre-existing insomnia so much worse, destroyed my trust, and just caused my mental health to decline overall. Basically what happened was I was visiting my partner in college and shared their bed with them and one other friend who was visiting. I've had lifelong insomnia and take meds to help me sleep, so I took them like usual. When I woke up in the morning the other two were talking. I was in and out of sleep and very groggy. I was kinda making comments here and their but mostly I was just lying there feeling out of it. I had weed the night before and possibly alcohol, so I think that made it worse. My partner started to touch me under the blanket and at first I thought it was just cuddling so I kind of snuggled up. Then they started kinda gradually moving closer to my genitals. Just all well still in conversation with the other person. I honestly don't fully remember what happened, like if there was penetration or anything. And it really messes me up because I'm scared I may have done something to encourage it. I just remember becoming aware of what was happening and wanting it to stop but not knowing how with the other person in the room. I think if I had been more clearheaded I could have pushed them away or something, but I just felt kind of trapped and that made me feel frozen. When I finally did speak up the other person got really upset and my partner just laughed. I don't want to overstep so I just wanted to ask if this kind of experience qualifies as sexual assault and belongs in this space. Thanks for reading, it means a lot to me just to be able to say this.
 
Welcome @greensprout
I'm sorry for what you experienced & the betrayal from your partner that you endured in the process. Something sexual happened to you that you did not fully & knowingly consent to. In my book, that's sexual assault & you're in the right place. I hope you find the community here to be as understanding & helpful as I have. Take care!
 
Hi @greensprout WELCOME

I’m sorry you had such an experience with your partner. I hope MS will be exactly what you need to help you sort this out. There’s no doubt when non consensual sex is involved it’s sexual abuse. MS is full of nonjudgemental survivors who understand, and possibly through therapy, camaraderie, and resources of MS you will be able to process your own
experience in the realm of healing. Take care.
 
Hi @greensprout WELCOME

I’m sorry you had such an experience with your partner. I hope MS will be exactly what you need to help you sort this out. There’s no doubt when non consensual sex is involved it’s sexual abuse. MS is full of nonjudgemental survivors who understand, and possibly through therapy, camaraderie, and resources of MS you will be able to process your own
experience in the realm of healing. Take care.
Thank you for your kind reply, everyone on here seems really nice. Just being heard and acknowledged is already helping.
 
Welcome @greensprout
I'm sorry for what you experienced & the betrayal from your partner that you endured in the process. Something sexual happened to you that you did not fully & knowingly consent to. In my book, that's sexual assault & you're in the right place. I hope you find the community here to be as understanding & helpful as I have. Take care!
Thank you, the community has already been so welcoming and kind. There's more to the story too that I'm not really ready to talk about it yet, but I think being here will help me process things at my own pace. Wishing you well too :)
 
Hello, my name (or at least the name I'm choosing to use here) is Sprout. I'm 25 years old and transmasculine. I recently had to end a 4 year relationship because of something that happened. I'm really not sure how to classify it but it's been hurting me and I need to talk about it. It's made my pre-existing insomnia so much worse, destroyed my trust, and just caused my mental health to decline overall. Basically what happened was I was visiting my partner in college and shared their bed with them and one other friend who was visiting. I've had lifelong insomnia and take meds to help me sleep, so I took them like usual. When I woke up in the morning the other two were talking. I was in and out of sleep and very groggy. I was kinda making comments here and their but mostly I was just lying there feeling out of it. I had weed the night before and possibly alcohol, so I think that made it worse. My partner started to touch me under the blanket and at first I thought it was just cuddling so I kind of snuggled up. Then they started kinda gradually moving closer to my genitals. Just all well still in conversation with the other person. I honestly don't fully remember what happened, like if there was penetration or anything. And it really messes me up because I'm scared I may have done something to encourage it. I just remember becoming aware of what was happening and wanting it to stop but not knowing how with the other person in the room. I think if I had been more clearheaded I could have pushed them away or something, but I just felt kind of trapped and that made me feel frozen. When I finally did speak up the other person got really upset and my partner just laughed. I don't want to overstep so I just wanted to ask if this kind of experience qualifies as sexual assault and belongs in this space. Thanks for reading, it means a lot to me just to be able to say this.
I feel your experience is valid and that this is the appropriate place to be sharing your response. Thank you for sharing.
 
Welcome. What you described is that you were unable to consent it doesn’t matter if it was a partner and not a partner or anything else you were not in a position to consent. All your feelings are valid you don’t have to classify it. You don’t have to label it, the violation, the loss of trust says it all. You do belong here among your brothers. I hear you.
 
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