Dealing with setbacks

Dealing with setbacks
SubtleStuff

SubtleStuff

Registrant
Hi guys,

I'm wondering what you guys do when everything seems to be working against you and all your plans fail. How are you good to yourself in the face of failure?

Yesterday was a rough day for me. Fear of failure has deep roots in me and yet I seem to excel at it sometimes. I long for connections with people at a depth that seems impossible to create locally. I long for a body that would allow me to work and travel at least a little and socialize more than I am currently capable. My efforts to move in this direction have run into a number of setbacks recently. Eventually I just stopped fighting, stopped dreaming and spent some time feeling my body and relaxing. I also allowed the sadness as much as I could. What do you do?

Sincerely,

GAATT
 
Gaatt:

While I understand the experience of setbacks, what you are describing does not sound necessarily bad.

For me, feeling my body is the most important thing of all. Feeling my body and relaxing is actually an accomplishment that I am most proud of these days. To be honest, I don't count it but coax myself into it, with a lot of work at building awareness.

Allowing emotions to emerge is the courageous part. As others have said, what is discovered then is as much as will help for further progress.

Hope you will remain open, even in the "face of failure". Perhaps there is more for you to discover than you know at present.

FB
 
Thanks FB,

I do notice than when I step out of the "story" and into physical sensation, things seem to change. Even in the middle of intense anger (which my mind will generally deflect onto a source that is beyond my ability to change) feeling the sensations and then writing out my rage in the form of a poem seems to help. I do find rage a difficult emotion to experience.

I'm doing alot of work trying to find funding so that an agency that supports male survivors can have a presence in town. Although I find the work worthwhile and rewarding overall, it occasionally triggers me and I have to spend some time with myself until the storm clears and I address the source directly.

Thanks for your encouragement.

Sincerely,

GAATT
 
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