Truama and spiritual delusions

[allowmeauser]

So when I was a kid, I used to have what many would call nightmares. I used to see stuff that would scare me and I would cry and scream. I think it lasted for many years but I don't exactly remember. My family thought that I was possessed by spirits and they would take me to spiritual healers who would pray on me and do other stuff that I don't remember.

Whats also interesting is that in my adult life, I linked cptsd symptoms to my spiritual superiority. I thought my isolation and dissociation are signs of transcending earthly attachments. I rationalized my inability to express my sexual desires as sign of rising above just unlike other guys who go crazy for girls.

I thought I was on a higher path when in fact it was a way to protect my ego and give meaning to my suffering. Adults framed my childhood cries for help as supernatural and I continued to do that in my adult life.