The little things
tgslair
Registrant
It is funny how the eye can see something just a flicker and unlock a new vault of memories. At a friend’s house today. He had pictures of his life and family through the years. Nothing extra extraordinary I guess a lot of families do. There was a picture of him and his brothers, smiling holding a new toy. A beautiful and innocent picture. They are standing in front of a window somewhere in their childhood home. The window is the kind that has the ropes at the top that offer the counter balance. Tears started to cloud my eyes. I could feel my head spinning. Every thing was going dark. I quickly told my friend I wasn’t feeling well and needed to go. He could tell something was wrong. He knows my story and said he would feel better to drive me. After getting me home not understanding what was going on. I did a little deep breathing and then wrote what I saw in the picture. The memory slowly opening like a spring rose. The room I was kept in as a child, same type of window. My ropes were cut just hanging there teasing me. Nails at the top where the pulley was. Windows never to be opened. My own personal cage. A memory locked away for 38 years. The room comes back. My little bed I never slept in. A dresser that was barely held together. A desk for writing my essays of how worthless I am. My jar for peeing in. My room. I can see everything now. I remember every inch. I wonder if a day will ever come where a smell, sound or simple photograph won’t trigger a well of memories. I wonder how much is locked up in the brain. I wonder why does it decide to release some and keep some. I wonder how the brain decides. Just wondering.
