*Triggers Possible* Restless

[axlr]

Writing this as a request for general support. The night before last, I was trying to fall asleep when I accidentally recovered a memory from a gang rape in kindergarten I'd been slowly processing the last couple months. It was a very visceral detail of an older boy forcing himself into my mouth. I have only really been able to sleep maybe 3 or 4 hours in the last 48. I'm sure that probably sounds like a luxury to the more insomniac but for me it's just painful. It's hard to study like this. Does anyone else have any experience with PTSD insomnia and how to cope?

(DID specific but I tried coddling my inner self and sleeping with a teddy bear and specifically back side down (he didn't want our rear to be facing upwards), and that worked enough to fall asleep but not for long.)

 

[Mikhail098]

Hey axlr, I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm sure this memory has been heavy on your mind as you have been working on it the past few months, that is a lot and I'm sure it can be expected you have aggravated episodes.
I've been dealing with bad insomnia as well recently. My therapist gave me the advice: what does your child self need? Can you provide yourself what you may have needed after suffering that attack?
It was difficult for me personally to identify what I would have needed so I imagined I was taking care of the neighbor's kid and had to soothe him and make sure he's comfortable. Whatever I imagined a kid in distress would need I tried to provide for myself like a warm meal, bathing well, comfortable clothes and bedding, hugging an animal, most importantly I attempted to relieve myself the pressure of being productive, which in your case could be studying.
Other things to do is to try grounding exercizes to remind yourself you are safe and away from the traumatic event.
I hope any of that advice is helpful, also what may help is venting your emotions and speaking with others. I hope you will not feel to put too much pressure to be functional at the moment because I know that can really get in the way of feeling better. Hope you get some sleep soon.

 

[axlr]

what does your child self need? Can you provide yourself what you may have needed after suffering that attack?

That's actually good advice. I kinda did something like that last night, and it did help me sleep eventually. I'll need to unpack that after class today, I have an exam.

most importantly I attempted to relieve myself the pressure of being productive, which in your case could be studying.

It's just too easy not to, you know? I'll try to set some time aside though to unpack these feelings.

Other things to do is to try grounding exercizes to remind yourself you are safe and away from the traumatic event.

Yeah, these help a lot. Reminding myself I'm safe in bed, home, a million miles away from all that.

what may help is venting your emotions and speaking with others.

I guess that's what this thread is!

I hope you will not feel to put too much pressure to be functional at the moment because I know that can really get in the way of feeling better. Hope you get some sleep soon.

Thank you, I really appreciate the advice. I'll do my best, even though there's a lot to do. I thought of you when writing this thread, I know you've struggled with similar and I hope you find peace too.

 

[Blessedcurse]

For me it works to do yoga and breathing exercises before bed. Specific for calming down.

Also I try to feel what makes child self feel safe. Sometimes it is having an audio book to distract. Or move to the yoga mat on the floor and sleep there. A heavy blanket helps too.

Often I just need to sit through it, hours of waves of panic and emotion and body memories. When it subsides I can distract and take comfort in the above ways

 

[allowmeauser]

For me it works to do yoga and breathing exercises before bed. Specific for calming down.

Also I try to feel what makes child self feel safe. Sometimes it is having an audio book to distract. Or move to the yoga mat on the floor and sleep there. A heavy blanket helps too.

Often I just need to sit through it, hours of waves of panic and emotion and body memories. When it subsides I can distract and take comfort in the above ways

What kind of breathing exercises help you the most?

 

[Blessedcurse]

Nadi Shodhan

 

[Blessedcurse]

And restorative yoga that opens the chest and activates the vagus nerve

 

[Silly]

@axlr I'm really sorry you're going through this. I've been having similar memories of a visceral nature... it just sucks.

I do box breathing (inhale counting to four, hold counting to four, exhale counting to four, repeat until calmed). I do have a sign on the wall that simply says "I Am Safe" as a visual reminder... and I have a few fidget toys I use to stim... little anchors. I also have a teddy bear.

I use a white/green noise generator to help me sleep... sometimes it works. I hope you get to feeling better. You got this. Take care.

 

[the-part-that-stayed]

For me the teddy bear helped a bit and soothing my inner child. Inner child has been the best way to extend empathy to myself and help soothe me at times.

It was difficult for me personally to identify what I would have needed so I imagined I was taking care of the neighbor's kid and had to soothe him and make sure he's comfortable. Whatever I imagined a kid in distress would need I tried to provide for myself

This is such a good example. I think of my inner child as a separate person which makes it easier for me. I like your technique though, that's very clever.

 

[LittleSteve]

I don’t really have any advice. I try so many different things. But I have a lot of trouble sleeping as well. I did a little post just a few days ago. I’m about sleeping in meds and I don’t know if this would help but it would give you an idea. I do take sleeping meds. I wasn’t up until this time, but I had previously problems, and but when this came out, I went back on meds for a while

Post in thread 'Anybody sleeping without meds?'

Oct 8, 2025

Feeling better does not make problems go away.

Touché

• LittleSteve

 

[Georgie]

There is a self-hypnosis method any psychologist can teach. I find it exceptionally helpful.