*Triggers Possible* I knew him.
TheNewMason
Registrant
I knew him.
He stood up from sitting on the low couch pushing his hands on his knees as leverage.
“Well hey there, I’m…”
“Mr. X,” I said using his character name from the show.
He laughed. “Only when I’m on the clock. Just call me Blank.”
“I’m Jarrad,” I said, using my character name.
I tried to control the thousand thoughts running through my head:
I watch him on TV all the time.
He’s a dad.
I wanted him to be my dad.
I didn’t know he was gay.
Why did he pick me?
Can I ask for his autograph?
Why am I all of a sudden bashful?
Why am I mad?
KEEP YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
He stepped towards me. “Nice to meet you Jarrad. Why don’t we get to know each other a little better. Hmm? We are going to have a fun afternoon.” He hooked his fingers on my belt loops and gave my hips a shake.
I laughed out of reflex—maybe even embarrassment? “This is just another job. Why am I having a hard time engaging? He’s just another man. Come on. Keep it together.” I told myself.
I scanned the room looking for exits—one through the kitchen that goes to the backyard and one behind me where I came in. I can’t go out that door. Mark still might be waiting in the driveway. I close my eyes to try to recenter myself. I can’t leave. “Get that out of your head.” I open my eyes and smile at him. Show time.
“Yea-h.” My voice cracked. “We are going to have fun. I’m happy to be here with you.”
He spent the next couple of hours exploring my body—Getting to know me—Bathing together—Running his hands over my skin. He was gentle. Complimentary. Playful.
When he finally entered my body, I started to cry. “Fuck.” I thought. “Keep it together.” But I couldn’t. I couldn’t reign in my emotions. I couldn’t keep up the facade. He saw the tears and pulled out.
“Am I going too fast? Am I hurting you?” He asked with true compassion.
He wasn’t. I wasn’t in physical pain. But I couldn’t tell him that I was embarrassed to be there with him. I was embarrassed because I wanted him to be my dad. I watched his show so often and longed for a dad like that. And now that is ruined.
“Sorry,” I said wiping my face. “Sorry. You are just kind of big,” I lied, “I wasn’t ready. I’ll be okay. I just need a minute.” I put my hand on his penis to keep him engaged. I am going to be in so much trouble if he doesn’t have a good time.
He rubbed my knee. “It’s okay Bud. We can take it slower.” He sat back and leaned against the headboard. “Do you want to try it this way? Just straddle me and you will be in control of everything.”
“Sorry. That’s really so sweet. You are being so kind,” I said. “I’m sorry I am ruining this for you. I’m okay though.”
He motions for me to come sit next to him.
“Stop saying sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry for. Sometimes we just need to slow down and take a breather. We don’t need to rush it. We are here to have a good time. I enjoy getting to know you. You are beautiful and perfect the way you are." He put his arm around me. "So what do you say? Wanna give it another try?”
We’ve reached that point in the episode where the dad has the heart-to-heart with his son. I smile at that thought. He’s just like his character.
“Sure. I’m ready now.”
I lay back down lifting my knees for him.
He enters me and this time I don’t cry. I don’t feel anything. I don’t feel him inside me. I don’t feel embarrassment. I don’t feel like I need to leave. I don’t feel fear that I am not doing to a good job. I just feel nothing.
“Nice job, Bud. I knew you could do it.”
He stood up from sitting on the low couch pushing his hands on his knees as leverage.
“Well hey there, I’m…”
“Mr. X,” I said using his character name from the show.
He laughed. “Only when I’m on the clock. Just call me Blank.”
“I’m Jarrad,” I said, using my character name.
I tried to control the thousand thoughts running through my head:
I watch him on TV all the time.
He’s a dad.
I wanted him to be my dad.
I didn’t know he was gay.
Why did he pick me?
Can I ask for his autograph?
Why am I all of a sudden bashful?
Why am I mad?
KEEP YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
He stepped towards me. “Nice to meet you Jarrad. Why don’t we get to know each other a little better. Hmm? We are going to have a fun afternoon.” He hooked his fingers on my belt loops and gave my hips a shake.
I laughed out of reflex—maybe even embarrassment? “This is just another job. Why am I having a hard time engaging? He’s just another man. Come on. Keep it together.” I told myself.
I scanned the room looking for exits—one through the kitchen that goes to the backyard and one behind me where I came in. I can’t go out that door. Mark still might be waiting in the driveway. I close my eyes to try to recenter myself. I can’t leave. “Get that out of your head.” I open my eyes and smile at him. Show time.
“Yea-h.” My voice cracked. “We are going to have fun. I’m happy to be here with you.”
He spent the next couple of hours exploring my body—Getting to know me—Bathing together—Running his hands over my skin. He was gentle. Complimentary. Playful.
When he finally entered my body, I started to cry. “Fuck.” I thought. “Keep it together.” But I couldn’t. I couldn’t reign in my emotions. I couldn’t keep up the facade. He saw the tears and pulled out.
“Am I going too fast? Am I hurting you?” He asked with true compassion.
He wasn’t. I wasn’t in physical pain. But I couldn’t tell him that I was embarrassed to be there with him. I was embarrassed because I wanted him to be my dad. I watched his show so often and longed for a dad like that. And now that is ruined.
“Sorry,” I said wiping my face. “Sorry. You are just kind of big,” I lied, “I wasn’t ready. I’ll be okay. I just need a minute.” I put my hand on his penis to keep him engaged. I am going to be in so much trouble if he doesn’t have a good time.
He rubbed my knee. “It’s okay Bud. We can take it slower.” He sat back and leaned against the headboard. “Do you want to try it this way? Just straddle me and you will be in control of everything.”
“Sorry. That’s really so sweet. You are being so kind,” I said. “I’m sorry I am ruining this for you. I’m okay though.”
He motions for me to come sit next to him.
“Stop saying sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry for. Sometimes we just need to slow down and take a breather. We don’t need to rush it. We are here to have a good time. I enjoy getting to know you. You are beautiful and perfect the way you are." He put his arm around me. "So what do you say? Wanna give it another try?”
We’ve reached that point in the episode where the dad has the heart-to-heart with his son. I smile at that thought. He’s just like his character.
“Sure. I’m ready now.”
I lay back down lifting my knees for him.
He enters me and this time I don’t cry. I don’t feel anything. I don’t feel him inside me. I don’t feel embarrassment. I don’t feel like I need to leave. I don’t feel fear that I am not doing to a good job. I just feel nothing.
“Nice job, Bud. I knew you could do it.”
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