exit thank you for the support

exit thank you for the support

Trev

Registrant
I wanted to thank each of the guys here who took the time to read my posts and respond and support me here. This phase of my life has not been easy and it has been rough many times you guys have been my adult men in my life and there were days you were the only adult guys I interacted with. I also have discerned that for some it may be better for their recovery if I was not here or if I was not contributing. I tend to write what I know and in my world that’s raising three wonderful boys. I had hoped to be able to continue here, there are no hard feelings I totally understand how that subject matter while it is my world can be something someone does not want to talk about. It was never clearer than this morning when I entered chat that had 9 guys in it and within 2 minutes there were just two guys. If my presence or my writings were triggering to you let me just say that I apologize for that, I harbor no ill will and just humbly request forgiveness.

I wish each of you a very healthy recovery and hope that your journey to healing is well and loving may each of you find peace and brotherhood that you have shown me in my short time here.

All my best
Trev
 
I sure hate to hear this, I find your post pleasantly uplifting. I’ve never been the number 1 Dad and I know this . Anyway it’s easy to get in your head around here and think no-one wants to hear my shit or they don’t like me. What resonates with one can be a trigger for another and if others like me, I just get to a point I’m too focused on me. And you know what I know some don’t like me and some don’t give a shit. I don’t give a shit ! I ain’t here for anyone but me. If you get to missing use do return. Peace and groovy mojo’s. Billy
 
Trev, I truly am sorry to hear this. Personally, I have enjoyed you sharing about your world, being a survivor who is raising three boys. I want to add that I believe that this should be a place for all survivors. There is no one 'type' or 'mold' because we are all different in so many ways. And there should be acceptance, support, and caring, without judgement or prejudice. I value hearing the stories and struggles of other survivors who may well be radically different from me, in totally different circumstances and situations. In fact, I believe that is something that gives me a fuller understanding of abuse. I will greatly miss hearing more of your story.
 
Trev, I truly hate to see your post.

It was never clearer than this morning when I entered chat that had 9 guys in it and within 2 minutes there were just two guys. If my presence or my writings were triggering to you let me just say that I apologize for that, I harbor no ill will and just humbly request forgiveness.

I get the thinking “it’s me” on things such as what you described in chat. That was a huge thing to me and caused me a lot of sleepless nights. I still to a degree think i screw things up here. But it is our self image self loathing stuff others put on to us.

For me I really enjoy hearing you talk about your kids just the love you have for them. It is warm in a place where sadly there is a lot of sad stuff and thigns that hurt. But you bring at least to me a smile an uplifting thing.

I do hope you reconsider and will return at some point. I left early one and took some time to come back because it can be overwhelming. I hope this is a short break for you.
 
It had nothing to do with what you said - some people sign on around the same time then people have to get to work. I get the same feeling sometime but it’s absolutely random.
 
HI Trev, I am sorry to hear that you are leaving. Personally I do not believe that anything you have ever posted was problematic and your presence certainly does not affect anyone else's recovery in a negative way. If someone does not want to read your posts they do not need to do so. As far as chat goes unless you know something different it is highly unlikely your presence had anything to do with the others leaving. You need the support MS offers just as much as anyone else here does. You need to do what you feel is right, but I hope you would reconsider this decision. I truly wish you peace and healing and blessing on you and your sons. Take care.
 
It had nothing to do with what you said - some people sign on around the same time then people have to get to work. I get the same feeling sometime but it’s absolutely random.
This.

I was one of the nine in chat this morning, and I left shortly after you entered. It had nothing to do with you (at least my departure from the room had nothing to do with you). There were a couple of reasons why people were leaving. First, it was that time of the morning for some of us to get busy. Second, there had been a rather tense exchange in the room before you entered and it got awkward in there. You entered during that awkward time.

Obviously it's your choice to leave if you think it's best for you, but if you're basing your decision on people leaving chat this morning, you are overreacting and misunderstanding the situation. If there is a mass exodus each time you enter chat, then you might have reason to wonder. I speak from experience when I say that it's easy to get your feelings hurt in chat. It still happens to me and I've been around here a long time. Just recently I left the room after the group in it basically ignored any effort I made to join the conversation. They were busy in their own banter and possibly inside jokes. That's just part of the beast that's known as the chatroom. Try not to take it personally.
 
Oh gosh. Totally had nothing to do with you this morning. There's always a mass exodus when it's time to focus on work or start the day.

Also, the tense atmosphere was actually my fault. (I cleared it up with the other person involved so we are good now.)
 
I wanted to thank each of the guys here who took the time to read my posts and respond and support me here. This phase of my life has not been easy and it has been rough many times you guys have been my adult men in my life and there were days you were the only adult guys I interacted with. I also have discerned that for some it may be better for their recovery if I was not here or if I was not contributing. I tend to write what I know and in my world that’s raising three wonderful boys. I had hoped to be able to continue here, there are no hard feelings I totally understand how that subject matter while it is my world can be something someone does not want to talk about. It was never clearer than this morning when I entered chat that had 9 guys in it and within 2 minutes there were just two guys. If my presence or my writings were triggering to you let me just say that I apologize for that, I harbor no ill will and just humbly request forgiveness.

I wish each of you a very healthy recovery and hope that your journey to healing is well and loving may each of you find peace and brotherhood that you have shown me in my short time here.

All my best
Trev
Of course you have to decide what is best for you. This site can be tough to navigate due to the nature of the content and all of the different people that are in different places in their lives. I've had those same worries about what I've said or how I've responded. We are all dealing with what is going on inside ourselves and what we are reading and sharing. That can create some tense or difficult situations and even misunderstandings.
I read a lot more than I respond to on here. I feel that each of us is doing the best we can with where we are at and trying to work through this tough stuff. It seems that most everyone is trying to be supportive from what I've seen.

I wanted to personally say that I always appreciate what you share. As a father myself, I truly respect you and what you share. I couldn't imagine raising 3 boys and losing my wife like you have. It breaks my heart. A part of me wishes I had a father like you when I was growing up with my 2 brothers. I guess I'm trying to say that I hate to see you go, but I understand if you feel that is best. You are always welcome back at any time. Wish you and your sons nothing but the best. Thank you. 🙏 🫂💙
 
I personally can think of nothing better than one of the members of our “club” putting his 3 boys at the center of his life and his recovery. I’m sure many of us wish we’d had a dad like that.

I don’t do chat so I know nothing of the dynamic, but it sounds like the reaction you took personally really wasn’t. @Trev
 
@Trev I understand the need to step away… there are many reasons some of us had to do that. But please don’t let what happened in chat be the reason. I did leave quickly but honestly it had zero to do with you coming in. I got upset and started freaking out irl and needed to sign out. I had to walk away to breath. I hope you check these messages and circle back! Sending good vibes!

ISS
 
Just because a number of people exited doesn't mean you drove them away. Some people may drop in for a quick chat and have to get to work or school, or the topic being discussed doesn't interest them. Also, 9 people at once makes for a difficult chat.
 
@Trev, I would like to chime in here... I feel you are a great asset to our survivor community here. Even though I don't do chatroom, for my own personal reasons. With you sharing the reaction you perceived as something you did wrong, or that you weren't wanted in that particular chat time.
Is one of my reasons, meaning I personally have a difficult time with rejection or what I feel is rejection. I'm to afraid of not fitting in.
I'm not saying that this is what you were feeling, however it would be my feeling if I would have been the one in that space at that time.
I hope that makes sense! I also hope that you come back and read some of these pleas, even if you are not logged in. I hope you find with the shear number of guys here that have responded to your post, that we don't want you to leave under these circumstances. If you need a break from here that is very understandable, we all need that from time to time. This is difficult shit and we all are at different stages of our journey's.
You contribute some good stuff, I personally like your poetry expression. Please reconsider, and if you need a break, I get it! Just don't forget at the end of the day we are all here for one reason, to help ourselves and in the process hopefully help others of our like.
Take care! LRD
 
First let me thank each one of you for the overwhelming words of encouragement and each of your kindness in explaining how I misread the chat room interaction.

Second I wanted to apologize for my own assumptions that seemed to be wrong.

I am still feeling the need to perhaps take a break from interacting in the chat room but I hope to be able to stay here .

This particular month is packed with a lot of emotions, anniversaries of traumas, the boys back at school all while working and processing all of that has left me emotionally on fumes.

The boys and I recently re watched a marvel movie we love those, this one Thunderbolts, there is a terrific character Bobby made invincible by super soldier serum but has darkness and trauma he’s dealing with there is a point where he just starts pounding on the darker side of himself but the team surrounds him and holds onto him and says we are here thanks for being the Thunderbolts for me guys and surrounding me. That probably sounds corny but the character of Bobby I so related to.
 
I, for one, have enjoyed my interactions with you in the past. I've needed periodic breaks from the site...sometimes it's too much. I get a lot from being here so I try to make my breaks brief. Hope to continue seeing you, but also understand if you need to leave. You have to do what's best for YOU. Enjoy your boys, you are an amazing father!
 
Thanks DC I have found your posts and honesty about what you went through hopeful and strengthening, your admission to liking and enjoying the feelings here have been able to make me talk openly to my therapist about my own feelings
 
@Trev

Although I don't go to chat because of some limitations, this is really sad news. I SO relate to your posts, not only because of my own relationship with my (now grown) boys, and my own loss through death of my lifetime partner, but also, your thoughtful and just plain great posts. They have truly been a blessing. Of course, thankfully we still have a choice and it's always nice to step away for a while so that when we return it's like a new beginning. Best wishes for a healthy future.
 
Back
Top