What's weird is I received oral from my abuser every time we were together...I never gave it to him, ever. But today it's exactly the opposite; I love giving but not receiving. I don't understand it...
I have no explanation to offer. Anyways, about myself I have had a woman go down on me once and I about fell asleep during the act.
Oh, sorry, I wasn't seeking an explanation. I doubt if one even exists! It's bizarre what CSA does to us, and how it affects everyone differently.
Maybe you seek what you were denied. And you have had your fill of what you were given.
No I am the same yet compulsive
I've questioned my identity ever since the abuse. Every time I feel like I am certain, doubt finds it way back in usually in the form of fantasies. While I am confident in my skills to perform I am constantly worried that I will do something to make her angry or that was unwanted. As such I like a woman who is capable of telling me exactly what she wants.
It may be a bit uncomfortable, but my thought on the matter is when in doubt- ask. She may not open to such a topic, but if you know what she wants or likes and the opposite it would make things a lot easier.
