Young people and poetry
roadrunner
Registrant
I am starting this thread because I wanted to respond to a remark that Jasper made earlier today in the thread about teens prosecuting their abusers.
Jasper, what I wanted to talk about is this comment:
Poetry is an art form that allows for the unlimited soaring and wandering of the human spirit, and throughout history it has been an outlet for expression of emotions and feelings by people in a state of deep personal anguish in all sorts of ways. That is why we see such a high percentage of the boys here showing an interest in poetry. Boys who hit upon the idea of searching out a place like MS - instead of sitting in front of Playstations and the TV endlessly, for example - are probably more curious and creative anyway, and their troubles and confusion have stirred them to seek an expressive outlet for asking important questions and giving voice to their feelings.
It doesn't surprise me to see boys interested in poetry in the first place. There is a common prejudice according to which boys hate poetry, but the truth is that boys need the approval of their peers. Boys in school will routinely moan about poetry because of course only sissies read or like that stuff, but then at home the thoughtful ones will eat it up. In my poetry classes here in Germany (older students of course), the guys outnumber the girls at least 3 to 1 every time.
Anytime a boy seeks such a productive and creative outlet like this I think it should be encouraged and nurtured as a way of coming to terms with things and as an element in his recovery. We see different interests of course: Kevin's pensive reflections on his abuse history and the yearning for help and understanding, Charlie's efforts to deal with what it means to be an abused kid right now, and Nyjah's spontaneous and defiant rap-style pieces.
All are different, all are posing their own individual questions, and all of them are addressed to us. I suppose one could say that of all the poetry on the DB, but perhaps we should bear in mind that if you come to this site as a teenager, it isn't exactly easy to relate to adults in the first place, seeing that adults were the ones who hurt you. The hurt and shame aren't tempered by years or decades of other experiences - they are right here and right now. I am not saying that their hurt is greater than ours; I am just saying it is different, and my point is that poetry is a cool way of expressing exactly how you feel when you can't find the words in just a regular prose post.
In any case, and as dwf comments, we have to ask what is most important to a young survivor: his own recovery or punishment of his perp? Of course we all want to see perps punished, but as John (Sinking) shows in his PM to Jasper on that same thread, it isn't necessarily an easy task. Legal litigation is hell on earth in any case, so how much greater in this kind of case.....?
I would like to look at another aspect of this. Suppose I am 15, abused for 5-6 years earlier in my life, mixed up, ashamed, desperately unhappy, unable to live any kind of normal life because of the flashbacks and nightmares, feeling guilty, worthless, unclean, unloveable, and so on. I identify my perp and prosecute. Assuming that I get through the trial without further damage, and assuming that my perp is found guity and goes to jail right away (i.e. he doesn't endlessly appeal and remain out on bail), will that solve all the other issues that prevent me from recovering my life? Of course not.
Jasper, I know you are talking about saving future victims, and with that sentiment I am in 100% agreement. But the comparison with poetry is a kind of apples and oranges problem. Encouraging the boys to explore their feelings by tapping into a creativity that is uniquely theirs is about something else entirely - the recovery of the young survivors we already have.
Take care bro,
Larry
Jasper, what I wanted to talk about is this comment:
I understand you are being rhetorical and stressing the need to end the "careers" of perps. I of course agree with that. But I think the remark as it stands is unfortunate, and I want to say why. I also think that maybe this is an opportunity to talk about why we see so many of the young guys getting into poetry on the DB. I don't think this is "off topic", as it speaks to the question of understanding young survivors.
Poetry is an art form that allows for the unlimited soaring and wandering of the human spirit, and throughout history it has been an outlet for expression of emotions and feelings by people in a state of deep personal anguish in all sorts of ways. That is why we see such a high percentage of the boys here showing an interest in poetry. Boys who hit upon the idea of searching out a place like MS - instead of sitting in front of Playstations and the TV endlessly, for example - are probably more curious and creative anyway, and their troubles and confusion have stirred them to seek an expressive outlet for asking important questions and giving voice to their feelings.
It doesn't surprise me to see boys interested in poetry in the first place. There is a common prejudice according to which boys hate poetry, but the truth is that boys need the approval of their peers. Boys in school will routinely moan about poetry because of course only sissies read or like that stuff, but then at home the thoughtful ones will eat it up. In my poetry classes here in Germany (older students of course), the guys outnumber the girls at least 3 to 1 every time.
Anytime a boy seeks such a productive and creative outlet like this I think it should be encouraged and nurtured as a way of coming to terms with things and as an element in his recovery. We see different interests of course: Kevin's pensive reflections on his abuse history and the yearning for help and understanding, Charlie's efforts to deal with what it means to be an abused kid right now, and Nyjah's spontaneous and defiant rap-style pieces.
All are different, all are posing their own individual questions, and all of them are addressed to us. I suppose one could say that of all the poetry on the DB, but perhaps we should bear in mind that if you come to this site as a teenager, it isn't exactly easy to relate to adults in the first place, seeing that adults were the ones who hurt you. The hurt and shame aren't tempered by years or decades of other experiences - they are right here and right now. I am not saying that their hurt is greater than ours; I am just saying it is different, and my point is that poetry is a cool way of expressing exactly how you feel when you can't find the words in just a regular prose post.
In any case, and as dwf comments, we have to ask what is most important to a young survivor: his own recovery or punishment of his perp? Of course we all want to see perps punished, but as John (Sinking) shows in his PM to Jasper on that same thread, it isn't necessarily an easy task. Legal litigation is hell on earth in any case, so how much greater in this kind of case.....?
I would like to look at another aspect of this. Suppose I am 15, abused for 5-6 years earlier in my life, mixed up, ashamed, desperately unhappy, unable to live any kind of normal life because of the flashbacks and nightmares, feeling guilty, worthless, unclean, unloveable, and so on. I identify my perp and prosecute. Assuming that I get through the trial without further damage, and assuming that my perp is found guity and goes to jail right away (i.e. he doesn't endlessly appeal and remain out on bail), will that solve all the other issues that prevent me from recovering my life? Of course not.
Jasper, I know you are talking about saving future victims, and with that sentiment I am in 100% agreement. But the comparison with poetry is a kind of apples and oranges problem. Encouraging the boys to explore their feelings by tapping into a creativity that is uniquely theirs is about something else entirely - the recovery of the young survivors we already have.
Take care bro,
Larry
