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Kieran1

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This is a hard message to write,but I will try to put it together as best I can. I began to post on this board a while back and have received a lot of support and good advice.I am not very good at conveying feelings and have some difficulty joining conversations and initiating discussion. I have not revealed this before,but I am bi-polar and have been for about 5 years now. Whether some of my disorder has had some influence on my struggles with abuseie. made it worse it is hard to know. I have to say(and I'm sorry I did not let everyone know)that I had put my family through literal hell for almost 2 years while in and out of a psychiatric hospital.Insane overspending,drinking bouts,severe depression,including many thoughts of suicide,spending some periods in the psych intensive care.I was a rapid cycler at the time and to this day must take mood stabilizers for the rest of my life. I regularly see a pscychiatrist and have a RN psych Case Worker.I make no excuses for myself and realize that I am in control of myself.My wife as I have said has stuck with me through this all (God knows I really wonder how she actually did it!)

Anyway,I am a complex and difficult person at times and through some of my milder mood swings have bounced around feeling sorry for myself with my troubles with many on this site. So many of you have gone through much worse than I and I cannot begin to know the horrors you have endured.My only message of support was probably an attempt at showing I was a big guy know,right into recovery. I am not,and I know it!!So many of you have so much to give,and pour out your feelings about different issues. It has not been a very good week. My pscy raised my meds,figures I don't sleep enough etc etc. I just can't share what I want to. I hope I can get back into intensive therapy with my Doctor and deal with the abuse stuff through hospitalization or something.

Thanks everyone for your support,I really appreciated it,and I sincerely hope you find peace,maybe someday I will too.

Kieran
 
have not revealed this before,but I am bi-polar and have been for about 5 years now
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I have been dealing with this since my SA started in 1967. At least you onley have to write Bi-polar ;) When I started we had to write out Manic-depressive. In cursive. And we liked it that way.

Take gentle care Kieran1,

Edwin
 
Kieran
This is a hard message to write,but I will try to put it together as best I can. I began to post on this board a while back and have received a lot of support and good advice.I am not very good at conveying feelings and have some difficulty joining conversations and initiating discussion.
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Yes , it must have been a very hard message to write. But it's a message I'm glad you did write.

We recieve a lot of support and friendship from you here, it's a two way street, and on our good days we support the other guys. And you're no exception there, your support is appreciated.

And the reason we all get a share of the support is that we share our problems with each other, and someone comes along and says "Hey, me too !"
You've just shared your load amongst us, I hope it's lighter now.

Dave
 
Thanks Kieran, for trusting us with your post.

I have quite a lot of trust in physicians who are agressive in treating their patients. I hope you have such a physician and not a slaggard.

Intense therapy made all the difference for me. I got more out of six months intensive treatment than nearly 40 years of one on one. I felt sometimes that I was comforting my counselor more than he/she helped me--the difference is that I was the one paying for it. I am certqain I have put at least a half dozen kids through Harvard. It really irritates me that the APA has never given me some big award!

Go for the intensiver if you can.

Bob
 
TheDean: Pardon my ignorance, but you mentioned "intensive therapy". Is that a specific treatment, or just more frequent visits to the therapist, or is it inpatient?

Kieran,
Thank you for sharing. My Dad was bipolar/Manic and he found balance (last 2 years of his life unfortunately) with proper meds. He was quite late in diagnosis. Sounds like you are actively pursuing treatment. Keep posting. We're here for you.
-Cog
 
Intense therapy for me was an out-patient thing, in St. Louis, MO. I went to a center and we had 18hours of therapy a week, Monday through Friday. We went home in the evening and had the weekends off.

We had one to one therapy, group therapy, art therapy, spiritual therapy, cognitive bahavioral therapy, and a sexual health therapy session once a week for 90 minutes.

It was magnificent, and no where near as expensive as a program that supplies room and board etc.

Bob
 
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