ok, yikes, cant believe im gonna put
this out here. i dont wanna but i kinda
feel like i hafto. so here goes.
um u guys who know me know how i feel
about girls, n what i say about girls,
only good for one thing.
i know i feel like that cuz of my
mom for a few reasons. cuz i saw my dad
treat her like shit, then he left and i
watched her treat herself like shit. then
the stepdad comes into the picture and after
a year or so guess what, he treats her like shit.
on top of that, there was about a year there
inbetween dad and stepdad where mom started
drinking alot, then for a while she used me
for some really really really inapropriate stuff.
sorry, i cant say it, but u get it.
i dunno if she remembers it or not. i was
young and she was drunk and it was
well it was just gross :sick: :(
theres more to it and it gets so
complicated but i cant talk more about it
then this for right now



you continue to amaze me at your courage and strength to face your fears and continue to push yourself through it...

just know that you are NOT alone in this either...

many guys here have issues with women... i'm sure that you'll get some more replies to this post comforting you and showing you that you are indeed NOT alone...

as with everything in dealing with our issues... just take it one step at a time... you are doing good... you are making progress... we are all very proud of you for the steps you are making...

you are greatly supported here zak... you are not a freak... you are not weird... what you've been through is awful but you've made it this far... keep going forward and your brothers here will help you to reach the other side...

Hi, my brother Zak.

Couragous to post that, another step forward.

Yep, when our "mom's" put us these situations as those young boys, they sure screw up the way that we do or donot relate to girls/females. I never did.....Now I know why.

So, my brother Zak, heal well, my brother,heal well.



Thx for the nice words on this.

its messed up, i dont know if she remembers
or not, i dont think she does, would it matter
really tho if she did or not? i just dont know.

i know that when im with her i feel totally
awkward and she seems to be fine.

i dont like talking about or thinking about it
but i spose its part of everything so...

i love my mother.

dont think ill ever bring it up to her, ill never
know why it happened and honestly i dont wanna know.

i dont blame her for other stuff that happened but
i blame her for how i view women today. she was
really young when she had me so maybe she just didnt
know how to handle stuff.
maybe im just making excuses for her.
who knows