Writing in a journal - will it help or simply depress me?

Writing in a journal - will it help or simply depress me?
E

EGL

Registrant
I finally told the secret of my childhood sexual abuse a couple of weeks ago to my wife (I'm now 43), and have been reading several self-help books on the subject. They all seem to indicate that I should be writing in a journal of sorts about the experience, what I'm feeling, etc. Do you all do this as well? I went to Wal-Mart last week and bought a notebook and a couple of nice pens, but they still sit on the kitchen counter. I guess I'm afraid to start because of how painful I think it will be once I get going. Should I wait and see a counselor first (I'm going to my family doctor on Wednesday of this week and he's going to recommend a few names of counselors).

On the one hand I'm thinking it will be very cathartic to get some of this stuff out of me, but on the other hand I'm thinking "Man, this is going to melt my mind." How do others feel about this?

Thank you all very much for any input. I'm so thankful to have found this site.
 
Eddie,

You do not need to see a therapist before starting your journal.

What I have found useful is to just write about what I am feeling at the moment. No thinking about it allowed. Or memories that come up, etc.

Some things may be painful, but putting them in writing will help you understand yourself. And lessen some of their power over you.

Glad you found us too, welcome!

Marc
 
eddie,

totally up to you on a journal. when and if you feel comfortable , do so. i don't think you need to talk to a t first but it is all your choice.

i personally am not strong enough or ready to yet. but that is me.

i am strong enough to come here, share, post, and try to begin working on my healing.

take care, we are here for you.

guy
 
Eddie- as you're fairly new here, you may not know that some of us do write journals. I tend to do it when I am at a low ebb & then forget about it when I'm OK. I found one the other day that I started in January (when I was at my worst). It was a good thing to read, as I didn't recognise the person that had written it - it was a good measure of my progress.

Some of us have also written letters to our inner child & also let that child respond. This is one of the steps that I believe has helped to to make real progress.

We all have our 'best' ways of dealing with our issues, use whatever best suits your needs.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
EGL,

I started a journal less than a month ago. It's really helped me, especially when no one is around to talk to about how I'm feeling. My journal is a little different. I have a digital voice recorder that plugs into my computer.

Same results though, positive. I've feed myself so many lies about myself and what happened to me for the past year that I need to get it out. You have to do what's right for you, but I think everyone could benefit from having a journal.

Don't be scared or afraid of the things that will come out. The only way to recover is by getting it out and allowing things to make sense to you.

Take it easy,
Fusion
 
Eddie

I kept a daily journal for nearly four years. It became a habit. I recorded everything, How I felt, what I had dreamt, mood swings, triggers flashbacks, the usual stuff.

I kept it purely for theraputic reasons until I realised that there was a possibility of a book emerging from my recorded ramblings. The My Story link will take you to a condensed collection of my ramblings, beware though it is full of triggers.

At first I kept it so I could remember what I said to the police in statements, I must have made six statements with differing diagrams in the year of investigation that was to take place before the trials.

I recorded both trials that I was involved with, how I viewed my abusers, the criminal justice system here in the UK, my life, my self worth or lack of it.

It makes for interesting reading some of it. If you do start to keep a journal dont do what I do and pick holes in everthing you write that just leads to total confusion.

Good luck.

Archnut
"And all that was left was hope"

My Story (Triggers)
https://www.waltonhop.blogspot.com
 
Eddie
I started my journal in 1999, and I still find a bit of time to add to it, some of the things I write here I copy and paste into it.

I do all on my computer, and save it to disc; I have a pile of CD's in the draw !
One thing that I've found useful though is to never alter or edit anything at a later dated unless I save it as something different. I keep the original as it is, and then save any new version as 'version 2, 3 and so on. That way when I go back I can see the progression in my thinking and how I've developed my ideas.

I find journaling very good, by writing my feelings and thoughts down and seeing them on the screen in front of me I think at a slower pace, I can pause to think of the exact word or phrase that conveys precisely what I mean at the time.
Having said that, I write down anything that comes into my head, and looking back to 1999 there was some strange shit in my head back then !

Some people say it's still there :D

Dave
 
EGL,
I have had a journal since I started dealing with all this crap about 4 years ago.
Part of my journal writing includes posting here.
Without being able to post & write as a way to purge & vent, I am sure I would be less healthy now & the path to this point would have been steeper & longer.
Blacken
 
Eddie,

I can ad nothing to this Post accept to say that what has already been written is damn good advice.
I keep a Journal too, but only write in it infrequently. I have both a bound 'blank' book, and my discs to write on/in, and it does provide some relief from what is troubling me. I can look back in the history of my entries and get a clearer idea of the progress made, or any setbacks that might come about.
I'm sorry that you needed to find this place, but am very happy you are here now. I believe that you will find a great deal of support and insight here.

Be Well,

Whicker
 
Eddie,

I've kept a journal from time to time though not in a very dedicated long term sense. It was a help though trying to sort through things.

One thing that may make it more useful and effective is to follow some program. Mick Hunter's book "Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse" is set up in a way that asks you to journalize your personal responses to a few questions per chapter. I found it a great way to sort through things and stick to the journaling thing, at least through the book.

Will give you a good idea as to how to make journaling useful for you too.

One other suggestion is, don't push yourself to much if you don't feel ready or beat yourself up if you don't do it. Just let it be there for you, a tool you can use if need be.

I think writing on a board like this can be a good start.

Peace,

Aaron
 
I did not read the other replys.
I do not keep a jopurnal, persay. I write mostly through poems and short stories. But when I do journal, it helps me make sense of the things running through my head.
Whatever you do, just take care of yourself, and do not put to much pressure on yourself, as I have done and I thought it was going to crush me. GOod luck on your journey, and we are always here to help you, if you need.
Casey
 
I do not write a journal. I do sometimes write poetry and I often write plans down. But writing a journal for therapy purposes just does not quite fit with how I am dealing with things. Only you can decide if a journal is one of the tools you want to use.
 
I think that to journal, it can greatly help your understanding of yourself, and can help to put your mind more settled. I have been helped to understand myself and my coping much better by journal. It has helped me to SEE things in black and white, to know something as true. Wow, I've been on this post ten minutes, and am not so sure what I am trying to say! Okay, journal=good! At least it has been for me!

Leosha
 
It's all up to you and you don't need a T to start to write in a journal. (Although I do recommend that you do find a T).

Writing in a journal is writing what you are feeling, doing, and your thoughts on it (amongst other things). It's a great place to rant. I find it very helpful. Sometimes I come out feeling better and sometimes it gets me wilded up a bit and I start filling pages and then come out feeling a bit better. As in life, some days are better than others.

Take care,
Bill
 
EGL,
A journal of what you are feeling when your having a hard time, I think is a good thing. I know I have a hard time really remembering what I was going through when I was having a hard time. It will help because you'll be able to go into great detail. When you write the journal its best to try to write it as soon as you can so you can remember the most. I'll admit I'm having trouble keeping up remembering to write it down when stuff happens but its a good thing none the less.

Jason
 
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