Working thru things I thought was done

Well I thought I had worked thru some of the feeling that I had about mom. But it's not so. Most holidays where about mom even if you didn't know it. Mom expected things on Valentine's day, Mothers day, Easter, Memorial day you get the idea. I found myself trying to get the yard mowed and weed eated for the BBQ that she expected.
Even in death she still has some control over me. Isn't that something? Guess it will be that way for a while till her ashes are spread. Letting go of the hatred along with trying to understand why things are like they are. Hate the Sin not the Sinner use to sound crazy but with age comes a little wisdom. Not everything is totally evil and nothing is all good, each has a little of the other in it.
MS has helped me and I hope that in some way I can help others by sharing. How have you let go of things like holidays?
I like the title to this post. My T has helped me understand that healing is not a linear process. Sometimes we heal a certain amount then come back and heal more later.

I attended a men's retreat in 2014 where we watched a video by Stacy Eldredge about how our mothers impact us (see link below). The video was taken at a Christian retreat. If that is not your spiritual framework, I suspect that the video may still be helpful and you can ignore the parts which you don't agree with.

It was a powerful video which helped me understand ways my mother had wounded me. Even then, I have only realized recently that my mother was emotionally abusive to me. It explains my continued hesitation to interact with her. But it is a difficult topic. Though my mother was emotionally abusive there were ways she tried to be a good mother. It is not all good or bad as you say.

I wish you well on your journey.