Working through stuff
I am new to this web site, I thought I had been working through stuff and then find that there is more to do. It feels like a long process. I try and be hopeful but at times it is very hard.
I have read a number of the postings here and find that I relate to what people are writing. Today I was reading about WHY. I ask that question all the time. I wonder why didn't anyone help me. I am positive that people knew what was going on but no one stepped in.
I too struggle with relationships and trust. When I was a little kid the safest place for me was in the back of long dark closet. At times I just want to go back into that very safe place, but you know the more I uncover the further the closet gets - I feel frustrated because I can't get that sense of comfort anymore. I just want a place where no one can hurt me. I put on a strong face and work hard at having a very prodcutive life.
I find it very interesting at times I revert back to being that little boy who is filled with fear, shame and guilt. There isn't anything in my life today that I need to fear, or feel shame or guilt about. This is all old stuff it happened over 30 years ago, but I live my life like I am still there where someone is going to brutally hurt and abuse me.
I too struggle with thinking I am crazy, there is no explanation for these strong feelings today. There is an explanation for what it felt like for me as a child.
I guess when you read this posting you can see I am in the midst of all this crap. I want to work through it, I want to have the kind of life that I deserve to have, relationships where there isn't fear, and that sense of comfort. Life does not need to be this hard.
I have read a number of the postings here and find that I relate to what people are writing. Today I was reading about WHY. I ask that question all the time. I wonder why didn't anyone help me. I am positive that people knew what was going on but no one stepped in.
I too struggle with relationships and trust. When I was a little kid the safest place for me was in the back of long dark closet. At times I just want to go back into that very safe place, but you know the more I uncover the further the closet gets - I feel frustrated because I can't get that sense of comfort anymore. I just want a place where no one can hurt me. I put on a strong face and work hard at having a very prodcutive life.
I find it very interesting at times I revert back to being that little boy who is filled with fear, shame and guilt. There isn't anything in my life today that I need to fear, or feel shame or guilt about. This is all old stuff it happened over 30 years ago, but I live my life like I am still there where someone is going to brutally hurt and abuse me.
I too struggle with thinking I am crazy, there is no explanation for these strong feelings today. There is an explanation for what it felt like for me as a child.
I guess when you read this posting you can see I am in the midst of all this crap. I want to work through it, I want to have the kind of life that I deserve to have, relationships where there isn't fear, and that sense of comfort. Life does not need to be this hard.