Wondering....

[HealingHope]

Wondering if you’re ok, my heart knowing your not.

Wondering if it was my fault, knowing I’ve figured out things I can do better if it was. My heart asking yours to trust my love again.

Wondering if everything is the same for you, knowing it is.

Wondering if they still have you caged, knowing the walls appear higher.

Wondering if you’re reading my messages. Hoping you hear my love and see my hand reaching out.

Wondering if you’re maybe trying to find a way to say hi. Hoping so hard you are.

Wondering why I dream of you and it feels like you’re there. Believing there’s a reason I do.

Wondering if you know I can see through the mask and the cage they have you behind. Believing that your strength will find a way through.

Wondering, hoping, loving, believing.

You’re always in my heart.

 

[AuthenticMe]

Wonderful. Keep that loving intention in your heart - it makes a difference even if it appears otherwise.

 

[HealingHope]

Thank you for your words, AuthenticMe, they mean alot. The silience is so hard to read.

 

[AuthenticMe]

Not knowing exactly what the situation is, sometimes it's enough to let the person you're supporting know that you're still there for them in a non-obtrusive way, maybe with a post card or greeting card. Verbal communication can be difficult during the healing process. As someone who's been through the recovery process, the ebbs and flows can be made easier just knowing there's someone out there thinking of you. If you feel that would push the person away, I believe that continuing to hold them in your thoughts really does help.

Lome

 

[HealingHope]

Thank you

 

[Ceremony]

I think you know what my hope is for you... I've wondered what you've been up to? I know it's hard... have seen you work so hard to be good to yourself. The loneliness and wondering is very painful. I'm so sorry.

((((HealingHope))))

 

[HealingHope]

Thank you Ceremony, you’ve always read my heart so well and your compassion is always there. You seem to know just at the right moment what words will soothe.

 

[HealingHope]

I think you know what my hope is for you... I've wondered what you've been up to?

Just been thinking about your question? I’ve been finding some answers to the connection I feel with my survivor which has brought me ease and working with this. I’ve been working through some deeper work on myself and I guess going with my own ebbs a flows from his absence. Some days are better than others but one thing never changes and that’s this love & connection.

 

[WG]

Hi HH - Winston in Seattle here - actually, not in Seattle any longer - we've moved to another town across the water (Puget Sound) about 1 1/2 hours West of Seattle now. My wife had a stroke in April. We're moving through it alright - some days are better than others - and the work is a daily thing. She could no longer negotiate the house we had lived in for 25 years, so this necessitated a move to a smaller place. Our children are all grown and out of the house and have lives of their own. They are of great help when they are able, but the majority of this all falls to me. She cannot drive, follow long directions (as a recipe), put on her shoes and socks, negotiate stairs, and on and on. All of this to say that I still do not neglect my healing work - I can't. I'll get lost in the shuffle somewhere and suddenly get resentful of doing the same thing, answering the same question numerous times a day. She's getting better and her communication and memory are pretty good now. But I cannot neglect getting my time to myself - so I get up quite early, make coffee and sit on the front porch for an hour or so. Each morning. I hope your survivor is able to do the same thing - get time to reflect, go places in his mind, remind himself that he is worth every tear, every hard and every joyful moment - and most of all - worthy of you- your steadfast love for him, constant support and that life-affirming attention he so desperately seeks. There will be days you won't know him - because he barely knows it himself. There are days that my wife - and I know this from my life experience - would sometimes look at me and not know me (this is pre-stroke so I'm meaning that I wouldn't let her know me - too scary!).
Don't give up. Your words in the above text tell me you will not. Never let go of what you know and what you are doing. He needs to see that.
Hope what I've said helps. I'm a bit scattered just now what with all that is currently required of me and my time......

 

[HealingHope]

Such lovely words of comfort,WG at a time when life for you has taken such a turn. Thank you for sharing your time with me here, and for reminding me that my heart is always true.
My hope for you and your wife is that you both cherish the precious moments as you both heal alongside each other.
You’re both such an inspiration, blessings to your wife for her continued recovery and to you for your steadfast path of healing. I’m so grateful for your gentle touch today, thank you so very much. With love and light HH.

 

[dark empathy]

Hi Hh.

one thing which I've often found helpful myself is simply the recognition that things go in cycles. One cannot sustain a dark frame of mind indefinitelym, and while abuse and feelings and thoughts it creates are always there, it's like the tide, sometimes it's right in, sometimes it's miles out and nearly gone.

I don't know how things are for your so, but I hope this proves true for you, ---- hell I hope it proves true for me as well given things have been difficult recently and motivating myself to deal with the world hasn't been an easy process.
either way I didn't want to talk about me, I just wanted to say I hope things get better for you and you can see yourself for the wonderful person you are.

Luke.

 

[HealingHope]

Thank you so much, Luke. Yes, we have had a cycle over the years that seems to repeat. I’ve always guessed as you describe, it’s when the tides out he seems to find his way back. It’s just this time it’s been far longer than ever before, which is why it’s been so hard reading the silence.
I hope you get some deserved rest bite from your own cycle soon, Luke.
Thank you again for your helpful insights and kind words. Everyone’s comments here have brought me hope.