Women - this was a red flag, right?
HavingHope2
Registrant
Am requesting input from women even though I already feel I know the answer. Just after all these years want to feel like I'm not crazy.
About 15-ish years ago, we were at my in-laws' house. My wife was walking around our room nude. She says she feels a weird itch, thinks it might be a rash. I - her husband - am right next to her, but she walks past me and opens our door and, naked, asks her stepdad to come to our room. She stands before him naked and says she thinks she has a rash. She gets on the bed in, frankly, doggystyle position, reaches back and spreads herself wide open. Asks her stepdad to check it out. He leans in to about 2 feet away, squints, and says yeah, maybe it's a rash, put some cream on it or something. And walks away.
I am standing there stunned, jaw dropped, and ask her what the hell that had all been about. We were married, we had a kid, if she needed a look-at down there it seems normal to ask me and TOTALLY FUCKED UP to ask her stepdad who raised her from age 3. I repeatedly asked her why she had done that and she brushed it off as no big deal, what mattered was driving to CVS to get some cream for it.
I do not want to think my wife had an SA history but how the hell else am I to interpret this? Is there any more benign explanation?
A little more background: Stepdad was very physically abusive when wife was young, he beat her regularly, closed fist, to the point of police involvement, which didn't stop it. Convicted felon for financial crimes. All-around awful person. No relationship with multiple bio kids and grandkids. He hit our 9yo son once. I was ready to go NC that very night but wife begged not to. She is extremely emotionally attached to her parents and talks to them multiple times every day. The post-hitting saga was its own other story I could write for 14 paragraphs, I did the best I could after she forbade me going NC or calling police or killing him myself. If you think I am painting an awful picture of this man, rest assured the reality is much worse. About 5 years ago he went on some meds that strongly watered down his personality and made him just a goofy loud blustering grampa. I hate him and wish he had died first, but life didn't work out that way.
Anyway, thank you for your insights, maybe I'm wrong about all this but I doubt it....
About 15-ish years ago, we were at my in-laws' house. My wife was walking around our room nude. She says she feels a weird itch, thinks it might be a rash. I - her husband - am right next to her, but she walks past me and opens our door and, naked, asks her stepdad to come to our room. She stands before him naked and says she thinks she has a rash. She gets on the bed in, frankly, doggystyle position, reaches back and spreads herself wide open. Asks her stepdad to check it out. He leans in to about 2 feet away, squints, and says yeah, maybe it's a rash, put some cream on it or something. And walks away.
I am standing there stunned, jaw dropped, and ask her what the hell that had all been about. We were married, we had a kid, if she needed a look-at down there it seems normal to ask me and TOTALLY FUCKED UP to ask her stepdad who raised her from age 3. I repeatedly asked her why she had done that and she brushed it off as no big deal, what mattered was driving to CVS to get some cream for it.
I do not want to think my wife had an SA history but how the hell else am I to interpret this? Is there any more benign explanation?
A little more background: Stepdad was very physically abusive when wife was young, he beat her regularly, closed fist, to the point of police involvement, which didn't stop it. Convicted felon for financial crimes. All-around awful person. No relationship with multiple bio kids and grandkids. He hit our 9yo son once. I was ready to go NC that very night but wife begged not to. She is extremely emotionally attached to her parents and talks to them multiple times every day. The post-hitting saga was its own other story I could write for 14 paragraphs, I did the best I could after she forbade me going NC or calling police or killing him myself. If you think I am painting an awful picture of this man, rest assured the reality is much worse. About 5 years ago he went on some meds that strongly watered down his personality and made him just a goofy loud blustering grampa. I hate him and wish he had died first, but life didn't work out that way.
Anyway, thank you for your insights, maybe I'm wrong about all this but I doubt it....
