Wishing you All the Best

Wishing you All the Best
S

Sinking

Registrant
I just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone here the best over the holiday season. I know the holidays bring about a great deal of anxiety for me, maybe you too. But I am going to focus on my loving, trusting, loyal, dedicated wife and my happy, excited, sweet, loving little girl and let the rest fall by the wayside. I hope you all can find a happy focus and enjoy the holidays. We deserve it as much, if not more, than anyone else. Peace.
 
My best to you as well.

I am looking forward, with only a mild case of butterflies in my stomach, to a few days with my Mom, my sister and brother-in-law, and their two terrific young children.

The butterflies have nothing to do with being with them and more to do with trying to set aside the difficult work I have started this year and just letting myself be a little kid for a couple of days at Christmas. I have challenged myself to play!

While I can honestly say I am feeling great about my progress I can't help remembering those Christmases, as a teen, when I observed all the cheeriness and felt strangely guilty - or at least out of place - for not being "present".

I know I'll have fun; I can always take their dog for a walk if I want to be by myself, for whatever reason ;)

However you choose to spend the next few days, I hope you will be safe and good to yourselves.

Kenn
 
Let me add my best wishes from our family to all of you this Christmas & holiday season. Joan, myself and the kids will be doing the usual ripping open of presents and scrambling to get all the cooking done before everyone arrives from the coast. Boxing Day will be all about napping and recovering from overeating and family. Peace, Andrew
 
good wishes to you too - i am just feeling selfish in that i want to express how futile everything seems - what's the point ???

happy for you that you have lovely families to go to and that you have made so much progress - gosh i totally wish i were there at this point - just feel at odds with trying to make life worth while - after so many ups and down - i now feel - especially now - like a screen of snow on the tv -
- what's the point of that - ???


Kudos again to all of you for getting through the past year and to getting through these next few weeks - my message is not cheerleading but really honest - which is what people here seeem to encourage me to be - even if it's bitter -

Mark
 
Mark -

I understand that this is a tough time for most of us here, to varying degrees, myself included. Maybe I am naive to think I will be able to live in suspended animation for a couple of days.

I'll ask you, because I genuinely care, what the co-facilitators of my survivors' group asked at the end of each session, "What are you going to do to stay safe this week?"

Kenn
 
I will be safe - Thanks I appreciate that -

Peaceful days ahead for all -

peace is perhaps the greatest gift > no?

Have a great loving wonderful holiday :-)

Mark
 
Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year to everyone too! Hope everything goes smoothly for all.

Jon
 
And the best Transatlantic wishes to you all as well.

Thank you for all the support this last year.
I come here as a Survivor first and foremost, and without that support I'd be having a hard time for sure.

Dave :)
 
Thank you all for our thoughts.

I wanted to add my best wishes for everyone. We all made it through a year which maybe had terror, pain, grief, rage, but also, excitement, relief, the beginnings of trust, genuine caring, and hopefully some compassion for yourself and understanding of what you had to do to survive.

I don't know about anyone else, but i feel optimistic for the first time in a long time. I feel kind of exhilarated to finally be able to deal with these core issues. I finally see the depth of the nightmare that I had to get through. I can finally feel that there is some sort of self inside me, not just blankness.

I don't have human company today, but I have my dogs. Maybe this is cheesy, but I made a doggie frosting and dipped a few bdoogie biscuits and rawhide treats in it, and acutallyl wrapped them. Yesterday I bought for myself a model (with all the plastic parts and glue and paint) of the Juppiter C rocket that launched the first American satellite into orbit in 1958. I was thinking of the Christmas when my father gave me a model, but he wouldn't let me have any glue (??!) so trying to put it together was an exercise in futlility. So now I got my own model and wrapped it last night. I gave the dogs their presents this morning , which they ate, with some of the wrapping as well, and now I am going to work on the rocket and watch a couple of movies I rented, and eat french toast with real syrup.

Next week I am flying out to visit with friends where I used to live, who have somehow STAYED friends with me, even though I movved away. They have two little boys, and I got them a couple of mini baseball mitts and on Sunday I'm going to the toy store to shop for them some more.

So for those who have their own families, enjoy your time together. For those who feel alone, it will change for you. The bad times will become the exception, not the rule. As you are more real with yourself, people will want to be closer to you, and it does get easier to let them in. If you are reading this you know your family here cares for you and is thinking of you. So take care of yourselves, it really matters.
 
I am late (after the holiday) responding to this. But I add my best wishes. I spent the day of the holiday with my girlfriend, sharing a wonderful day together. Nothing more could have been better.

leosha
 
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