wish these thoughts would go away

wish these thoughts would go away

puppy

Registrant
so yesterday was fathers day. no big deal. well thats a lie. it was a big deal. i mean it wasnt hugely traumatic but it sucked. i thought aboutmy dad all day and i really didnt want to. i remember at school we would always make fathers day cards. and i used to get so excited. now i cant do that. and im not excited. i thought about him a lot. i wondered if he was thinking about me. i almost wanted to call him, just to say happy fathers day. so he would know that some part of me still loves him and cares how hes doing. i know that probably sounds sick. im supposed to hate the person who did this stuff to me. i wish i could have just ONE strong emotion toward him, wheither it be love or hate. just one. so i didnt feel so crazy and torn.

anyway i knew fathers day would suck. i went camping with my best friend, just to get away from it all. and i sat on the beach yesterday watching my dog swim. and thinking about the good times. remembering the fun stuff. and all the times my dad tried to be a good parent. i think it was all out of guilt. or trying to shut me up. either way, i do have some good memories and im really happy for that.

i just dont get it, still. i was reading one of jaspers posts and he was talking about being the 'moody' kid and something about that really hit me. i was ALWAYS that kid. my family and my teachers and everyone always said i was too sensitive. i remember id cry at school a lot. about nothing. i would cry about anything and everything. and youd think someone would wonder why. and i had a really bad temper. as much as a little kid can anyway. i got sent home from school a few times for doing stupid things. and no one asked questions. im not blaming anyone. i just find it sad, no one ever asked me why or what was going on in my life.

anyway im all over the place with this post. i dont think i had a point to begin with. just that fathers day sucks. and it brought back a ton of memories, good and bad. and i miss my dad. and i wish i could be 8 years old making him a card at school and running home really excited to give it to him.
 
Hello Puppy:

It is SO normal to have mixed feelings about your parents, apart from any sexual abuse. When you throw in sexual abuse, it just makes it all the more confusing, and makes you all the more torn by it.

I wish you could be that 8 year old boy again, making cards for your Dad. I wish though that you could be that 8 year old boy, only you never got hurt by him.

You will probably always have mixed feelings about your Dad. I did and my Dad wasn't my abuser. But the main thing to remember is that you did really good yesterday, taking care of yourself. That was a smart way to spend the day.

And guess what? Maybe this sounds corny but now you are father to that little boy inside of you! You are the one to take him by the hand, to love him unconditionally. So you are that little boy's Dad. Do you know what I mean?

And I want to wish you, and all the other guys who are caring for their inner child, a belated happy Father's Day!

Does that make sense?

Jasper
 
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