Why !!!!!!!

[thecoopstah]

No wonder why i'm an alcoholic and a fuckin nut.I just got off the phone and another lawyer will not take my case regarding the abuse i suffered as a kid in foster care, it's as though the system (that i have no faith in whatsoever anymore) is afraid to take on DSS (dept of social services).....I cant even sit still right now long enough to figure out how the hell i am feeling and thoughts are flying through my head....its always something with me and im far beyond sick and tired of always having you explain away how i'm thinking or feeling.I want to talk with family who by the way are the very people who denied what happened as a kid and yet i want to reach out to them....why .....why does it have to be this way and why do i even beong on this earth anymore....i am really thinking about ending it ..........i am sick and i dont want to "FEEL" anymore i am ready to fuckin hang it up......

 

[froggy12]

Coopstah, I am an alcoholic and a raving lunatic. But I don't drink. Tried to drown in alcohol too mnay times and just made it worse. I was told my job won't be here in the spring, the whole dept. is being moved to South Carolina (cheap wages) but the main office will still be here in Mass. I rant and rave but will not let them squash my spirit. Been done too many times and I have struggled too long now to stay relativey sane. Not totally, too boring. I get frustrated because I am too old, have mobility problems and can't do basic things like walk without a cane and I want to scream and yell. But no one would listen, so why waste my energy. But guess what? I am a fucking cynic and proud of it and will keep on going just out of spite.
And all that crap. Woopee or is that ribbITTT since I am froggy 12.

 

[KeithR]

You do belong here.

I didn't completely feel a lot of things for many years. Once I got into recovery for a while, I have felt more good and bad in the last six months than I ever have. The bad is really bad, but the good feelings are really, really good. I used to do things to change my mood but that kept me from from feeling things.

If you are really feeling the way you say right now, please talk to someone. Call a hotline, or at least a friend.

The abuse has ruined a part of your life you can't get back, but it doesn't have to control the rest of you like, or definitely no be the cause of you thinking of ending things.

Please reach out. Come to the chat room if you need to.

Keith