Hey Al!
Sorry to hear you're feeling down...trust me, we can all relate. For me, the aggrevation sometimes just lies in my being alone and doing "isolative" behavior--i.e. detracting from friends and the like. These are the times when I just do nothing but stupid stuff (which I know I should not be doing--or I have tons of OTHER important things to do). I just isolate myself, and then later, I wonder what is going on with my life...I become overwhelmed and the like.
Still, as Wrangler there said, "But this tiny piece of me deep down inside knows that there is a happy life for me out there." Indeed, I find it annoying sometimes to not realize or to forget that to a certain degree, I am exactly where I want to be. I have reconciled various issues in my life, and while there is still much to go, I have "survived" (as this board is aptly named). Indeed, for all of us, we have gone so far. We have been taken advantage of by those who we may have trusted or those who may have been in a greater position of "power." We went through, many times, various cycles of depression and indeed, question "Why me?" Our faith may have been rocked not just in God but in this world in general and its people. I can go on and on, but my point is that we have been through so much. Why stop now? We've survived this far, imagine how much further we can go. I think a useful way to manage is to sometimes just get out there...go for a jog or else, just get out of the house. See the world outside, and look at the people around you.
We are all the same. Even those who are NOT abused, have encountered their own pain, and trying to live on in this world which sometimes seems so harsh (especially for us). Nevertheless, you also see people who are happy, laughing, etc. The thing is, we are not different from them. We too can be happy if we focus ourselves on our future and on our goals. The problem with us sometimes is that we tend to ponder the past or even just the present moment's problems. We get overwhelmed.
Here's a thought experiment: just think of what it is that you ideally want in life. Just picture yourself of where you want to be say 5 years from now. Is it a family, is it a career, is it a faith community, is it any/all of these? Then, focus on this, and think of whow you can get there day by day (even little things like say...okay, today I'll watch less TV so that I can get out there a bit or else today, less computer stuff so I can go ahead and stay away from depressing stuff--these are just random suggestions that may/may not mean anything to you so take them for what they're worth).
Another practical thing for me is just to write out everything...i.e. how you feel, be it on this board or in private. Write down say a letter to the person you hate most, to say an old friend, or whatever. You don't have to send it anywhere, but it's something that sometimes helps to just make you realize what is really going on with your feelings (and trust me, I think sometimes that it's not so much the intense anger that drives us to depression, but really just that we feel so many emotions and can't let them out!).
The thing I have realized in my life (and even now, as I am in one), is that we often get stuck in "ruts." We know we have gotten out of them before and that we will, but when we're there, that's all we can focus on. For me, it helps to really stop and just think of what it is that matters. Indeed, think of what I truly want to do. No matter how old, jaded you are, deep down, there is a part of you that still dreams. If there wasn't, you would likely not be a "survivor," and certainly not one posting on here to reach out to others. You have, as stupid as it sounds, to "nurture" this dreamer (man, that sounds overly dramatic...but really can't think of a better word). That is the part of you that is the best of you.
Before any of us were ever abused, that part of us was strong and vibrant, but many times, because of the abuse and its obvious and not-so-obvious effect, that "dreamer" gets quashed. We just have to have faith and cling to it. Indeed with it, we can once again move mountains : )
