Why the obsession?

Why the obsession?
G

GuyD2006

Registrant
You would think that after the abuse that I endured, the last thing that I would want to do is act out sexually. However it has become an obsesion. I have the ability to instantly objectify every single person that I come into contact with. Why does that seem to comfort me? I used the word seem, because it never does comfort me. I can act out and still feel the need, still spend hours crusing looking for that fix. I have been in SAA recovery for a few months now, I do see that God is working in my life, but I continue to have these urges. Why? You would think it would be the last thing I would want to do. Does anyone else battle with this?

Guy
 
Guy,

You said, "You would think that after the abuse that I endured, the last thing that I would want to do is act out sexually." Actually, that is EXACTLY what I WOULD expect. It's called re-living or re-enacting the abuse. I do it constantly, even when I know I'm doing it at the time. It's like I want to find meaning and purpose in the abuse and so I re-enact it time and again to get the 'answer' but there is no answer. Rape and molestation will never make sense, but by body craves wanting it to make sense and therefore craves to try doing it again; this time with someone else, or in a different place, or in a different position, or, or, or.

Koveri
 
Wow....that explains alot. That has been my pattern...more ...different...fantasy...acting out...someone else...male...female... still no relief. Where does it end?

Guy
 
Right on Koveri!

GuyD2006 - I know this might sound like BS, but this is a 100% spiritual angle. I've recovered for the last 18 years from Alcoholism - and part of early recovery was using alot of prayer, meditation, talking to a sponsor and other members over the phone when thinks get strange. In fact, continuing in recovery, all the above still needs doing. But the most important is working Step 3 - turning it over to a higher power for him to handle - and I have met MANY (including myself) who have had the obsession of Alcohol lifted from them, specifically because of prayer, meditation (concious contact with God) and then worked Step 3 HARD. Others have done it, and they don't pickup alcohol. But here's the rub!

No human can live without some kind of sex (or food) in their life - but can live without any alcohol or drugs - so another point is maybe talking with members of OA, Overeaters Anonymous can help you out too. After all, no human being can live without eating. So its now a question of HOW and giving it to a higher power to control. I promise if you work Step 3 hard, you'll feel the obsession lift from you.

Good Luck,

Chairman201
 
I do not relate to that so much, as I became opposite, became quite 'a-sexual' for many years. But I know there have been many members here who have acted out sexually in some manner or another, or have even become addicted to sexual things, such as porn or stronger behavior. You are not at all strange or unusual for this. I hope you are able to get more response on this from some who can perhaps relate better. Perhaps to post something like this in the 'sexual identy' forum would be a help to have more discussion on the topic.

Leosha
 
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