I agree with some of the previous post by Lloydy. However, the typologies of sexual abusers are somewhat more complex. I'm in the process of writing a book for survivors to better understand abusers and the ways they mess with the minds of survivors. I will post an excerpt of the book here which touches on this subject. Please bear in mind that this is a draft version and will be likely rewritten and edited. So, please don't reproduce it or pass it around as Gospel.
Ken
Kinds of sexual abusers
However, there are other motivators for abusers. Some are primarily or exclusively attracted to pre-pubescent children. Their sexual interest, if exclusive, may result in a diagnostic label as a fixated pedophile. (For a comprehensive description of sexual offenders, see Sexual Abuse In America: Epidemic of the 21st Century, by Robert E. Freeman-Longo and Geral Blanchard, Safer Society Press, 1998, pp. 40-51.) Within this group are those who prefer males or females. There are also some who have no preference and will abuse either gender as long as the victim is pre-pubescent. The attraction for this group is being sexual with someone who is not a challenge to their social skills. It is often safer than risking rejection with an age-appropriate partner. There is little challenge to try to please a partner sexually when the partner is only eight years old. These offenders have strong fantasies to young children and are usually the main consumers of kiddie porn. (Technically, any image depicting a child under 18 in a sexual or nude pose is considered child pornography. However, while a 19 year old may be interested in sexual pictures of 16 year olds, he is not necessarily in the same league as a 45 year old man looking at images of six year olds, though technically, both are in possession of child pornography.)
Some abusers have a history of age-appropriate partners but under stressful times may abuse a young child. This group is sometimes referred to as regressed pedophiles. They may be in a relationship with an age-appropriate partner and though they may have raised the child from birth, they do not abuse him or her until years into the relationship. It may be a combination of stressors in their lives and having opportunity to experience power over that child which can lead to sexual abuse. Sometimes, fixated pedophiles will marry a single mother in order to get access to her child.
There are also those who are primarily interested in young teens and are known as hebophiles, the category many clergy have been labeled. There is some debate in the sexual abuser treatment community whether this is a true label or diagnosis. One argument runs that since we are hard wired to be sexually attracted to child-bearing age partners, it is more of a biological function to be interested in teens. While socially and legally inappropriate, the interest in adolescent bodies is natural and it is our sense of moral decency and perhaps a fear of consequences that keeps us from acting on these feelings. Further in this argument is the fact that we generally have our first strong sexual attraction to others when we are ourselves young teenagers. So, it is perfectly normal for a 14 year old to find a 13 or 14 year old sexually attractive. The kind of reinforcement that takes place when the young teen masturbates to fantasies of another young teen is stored away in the brain over the years and years later, that young teen may still evoke sexual arousal in the adult. Add to the mix the media exploitation of pre-teens and young teens in sexually explicit clothing (think Britney Spears and her following of pre-pubescent fans who dress in belly shirts and want pierced navels by age nine.)
There are some who profess to be boy lovers. Ostensibly, groups like NAMBLA (North American Man-Boy Love Association), claim that they are not out to sexually abuse children but really love the pre-teen and teen boys for their boyness. They want to nurture and care for these boys and believe that a boy who is emerging into his sexuality should have an older male guide to help him explore and understand his new or soon-to-be-new hormones. Because his approach is one of seduction to bring himself to the boys level of interest, he may ingratiate himself with the boy and his parent as a kindly, generous, interested man. Exploiting the curiosity and interest the boy has about this new area of his life, the boy lover introduces sexual themes and behaviors to the boy.
We often see coaches, scout leaders and big brothers gain legitimate access to the boy and turn the relationship sexual. Most non-abusive men join these groups to enjoy and re-experience the fun times they had as boys, seeking to mentor youth and be good role models. They may become scout-masters or coaches because they have children in these activities. Others are drawn ostensibly for similar reasons but have a sexual interest in boys that is probably not known to anyone but them. With some of these individuals, the sexual interest in boys may be hidden even to themselves but in the presence of opportunity (camping sleepover, for example), the sexual behavior can come out. Then there are those who deliberately join such groups to have access to potential victims. They tend to have multiple victims over periods of years, if not caught.
Boy lovers have numerous websites. Some sites profess to permit postings only by men who truly love boys and are not looking to be sexual with them. Others talk about inter-generational sex (child-adult sexual relations) being all right as long as no force is used, and other sites are open with promoting child pornography images and child exploitation writings. The boy lovers are a varied lot with the commonality of at least a sexual interest in pre-pubescent or young adolescent boys.
Man-boy sexual relationships can be very insidious. The kind of boy who would most likely respond to the boy lover is one who wants a male who takes interest in him and is willing to spend time. Boys who do not have a father or father who is providing these needs are especially vulnerable to this predator. The trust that is deliberately built in this kind of relationship becomes a major betrayal for the youth when the situation turns sexual. The boy may be conflicted about refusing the sexual behaviors or telling someone, fearing his friend may get into trouble. He may feel ambivalent about the abuse itself. Though boy lovers stress that they are not forceful or coercive, they actually believe that they are doing much more good than harm to the boy. They exploit the hormone level in the pubescent child and generally put enough positive attention, gifts, and pleasurable, non-painful sexual acts with the younger boy to make the sex seem not abusive. Taking gifts from the friend makes it like a bribe. Sex is the price to pay for having this person in the boys life. By accepting the gifts, the boy is obligated and in a way is being paid for services rendered. Further, his inability to break away from the relationship or tell someone is proof that he was complicit in the acts and likely adds to the sexual orientation confusion he may be experiencing.
For some abusers, their sexual behaviors are re-enactments of what was done to them as children. Within this group are men and women who were abused and instead of being controlled by the abuser as they were in the past, they are now in charge and are controlling the sexual activities. This may be done without force. The sexual acts are a vehicle for unconsciously evening the score. Ive rarely heard abusers say early in treatment that the abuse they perpetrated was a way of resolving the sense they felt as victim years ago. Some will come to this conclusion after being in sex offense-specific therapy for a while and see how the need for power was met through sexual abuse.
Other abusers consciously inflict pain or fear on their victims. Whether or not they understand that they are re-enacting what was done to them may not be apparent. They may be more aggressive with their victims, not stopping when the victim is in pain or distress. They may be physically abusive or violent as well. The satisfaction they get from hurting or inflicting pain is probably more important than any sexual gratification. Although many of us would say that we wouldnt want to inflict something painful on another person particularly if we had it happen to us, many abusers in this category lack empathy, the ability to put yourself in anothers place. Interestingly, empathy is the best defense against hurting another. Think Golden Rule do to others as you would have the do to you.
The primary mover in terms of meeting needs for this kind of abuser is power. Feeling power over another person can be a rush of adrenalin for some. A teen rapist I worked with years ago described how powerful he felt when he could hold a gun against the head of a victim and have complete control over that person who was weeping with fear as he committed the rape. He had also raped without a weapon and had committed armed robbery with a gun. Though both gave him a sense of power, he said the rape with a gun, because he had the power of life or death, was the ultimate rush.
Although it sounds like power is bad, bear in mind that all organizations permit some form of power. When the school gives the teacher the power to write someone up for detention, when the police have the right to give out a traffic ticket or arrest someone, when the coach tells the team to run laps around the field, all are exercising legitimized power. If the teacher, policeman, or coach uses his or her position to engage in sexual acts with the person in the subordinate role, there is a misuse of power. But because the student, motorist, and player are all told to follow the directions of the person in charge, the door to sexual abuse may be opened if the one with legitimized power chooses to act this way.
In these situations where there is the opportunity to exercise legitimate power, it seems strange that someone would take advantage of another with less power. It is not just sexual abusers who do this. Think of situations where a powerful politician risks political disaster for a sexual liaison or accepts illegal contributions because he can get away with it. How about a person pocketing an extra dollar in change because the lower paid cashier (who will have to pay for it) made a mistake in calculating the bill? The sense of entitlement can make people do things that they would normally not do. It can also be part of a belief system that the person is above the law.
