Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
- Thread startergetteddie
- Start date
Just Call me J
Registrant
I'd like to give a voice of support for Babs being in here. No one has ever jumped on me for going into the Family and Friends board, so why should we go after her.
Except for ONE post, Babs has been friendly and supportive. And even in that one post, she had a VERY good point. She was justifiably angry (wouldn't you, if you heard "rape" as just some by-product of being "horny").
I don't care whether it is another survivor, or a friend/family member of a survivor, that gives me support.
J
There is a reason why my .sig is
We're in this together.
Except for ONE post, Babs has been friendly and supportive. And even in that one post, she had a VERY good point. She was justifiably angry (wouldn't you, if you heard "rape" as just some by-product of being "horny").
I don't care whether it is another survivor, or a friend/family member of a survivor, that gives me support.
J
There is a reason why my .sig is
We're in this together.
I happen to agree with you.
I think everyone of us has heard someone say something that set us off. I think it is okay to question the "why" someone said something to get clarification. At the same time I feel everyones point of view is so important on this board. What may not give one person good advice may indeed give another. Let us never be afraid to question one another. It's the only real way we can have a open forum and to include all different opinions and ideas.
We all at one time or another have been at the point where we do not understand what someone is trying to say. This may be frustrating or upsetting at times. I am not perfect nor do I expect anyone else to be. I think as long as it is done constructively - to vent is just one more way to heal.
Be it a survivor or a friend/family of a survivor - we all need an outlet. But remember what I said - as long as it is done constructively.
So don't be afraid to question and don't be afraid to have an opinion. But do it with the thought in mind (especially here) that everyone in one way or another is going through something that just puts us all (from time to time) on that roller coaster ride of emotions.
Support with an outlet is very important to us. Without it we end up pushing all those feelings and ideas and frustrations deeper inside of ourselves. That can be dangerous. We know what happens next... Then we blow!
I support people to constructively speak their mind. But let's try and be understanding and sympathetic and remember this is not an easy road for anyone. At least we have a place where we can all go for the advice and support of someone close to our situation. That's why most of us are here any ways.
gadzook
I think everyone of us has heard someone say something that set us off. I think it is okay to question the "why" someone said something to get clarification. At the same time I feel everyones point of view is so important on this board. What may not give one person good advice may indeed give another. Let us never be afraid to question one another. It's the only real way we can have a open forum and to include all different opinions and ideas.
We all at one time or another have been at the point where we do not understand what someone is trying to say. This may be frustrating or upsetting at times. I am not perfect nor do I expect anyone else to be. I think as long as it is done constructively - to vent is just one more way to heal.
Be it a survivor or a friend/family of a survivor - we all need an outlet. But remember what I said - as long as it is done constructively.
So don't be afraid to question and don't be afraid to have an opinion. But do it with the thought in mind (especially here) that everyone in one way or another is going through something that just puts us all (from time to time) on that roller coaster ride of emotions.
Support with an outlet is very important to us. Without it we end up pushing all those feelings and ideas and frustrations deeper inside of ourselves. That can be dangerous. We know what happens next... Then we blow!
I support people to constructively speak their mind. But let's try and be understanding and sympathetic and remember this is not an easy road for anyone. At least we have a place where we can all go for the advice and support of someone close to our situation. That's why most of us are here any ways.
gadzook
Everyone, I agree with gadzook that this is the best site on the net for male SA support and I have been everywhere. I did find out one thing about Male SA Support. In the USA it is the second least supported group...the first least supported group is The Family and Friends of Male SA Survivers!!!!!!!!!
Eddie
Eddie
Sorry to see you go.
But if you must then you must.
In the words of a great philosopher -
"T.T.F.N"
"Ta Ta For Now"
-Tigger from Winnie the Pooh.
O.k. so maybe he wasn't any great rocket scientist or anything....
It's a joke people!
I know you all are laughing on the inside...
I just hope you all are laughing "with me"!!
Gadzook
Hi all, read through this whole thread and think we should'nt get so worked up about peoples differing opinions.
The issue here is SA. As well as all the havic it has coused in all of our lives.
I read every post with a grain of salt.
I know people have a wide veriety of experiences and copeing mechanisms. I am not shoked or surprised , at Eddies way of expressing himself. He is being honest and open about his way of handling the SA.
I can also understand Blackleafs revoltion to the thought of having sex with another man. Let's try to be a little more resptctfull of everyones opinion. It won't help any of us to nit pick.
Peace and Frienship,
Dan
The issue here is SA. As well as all the havic it has coused in all of our lives.
I read every post with a grain of salt.
I know people have a wide veriety of experiences and copeing mechanisms. I am not shoked or surprised , at Eddies way of expressing himself. He is being honest and open about his way of handling the SA.
I can also understand Blackleafs revoltion to the thought of having sex with another man. Let's try to be a little more resptctfull of everyones opinion. It won't help any of us to nit pick.
Peace and Frienship,
Dan
Originally posted by Danman:
Hi all, read through this whole thread and think we should'nt get so worked up about peoples differing opinions.
The issue here is SA. As well as all the havic it has coused in all of our lives.
I read every post with a grain of salt.
I know people have a wide veriety of experiences and copeing mechanisms. I am not shoked or surprised , at Eddies way of expressing himself. He is being honest and open about his way of handling the SA.
I can also understand Blackleafs revoltion to the thought of having sex with another man. Let's try to be a little more resptctfull of everyones opinion. It won't help any of us to nit pick.
Peace and Frienship,
Dan
Well put. I think it's time to put this one behind us and just move on. End of subject. We have more important matters at hand then to bicker amongst one another.Gadzook
thanks Gadzook for putting perspective on this discussion. For some people, having no women in this room gives it a special place of safety. for other guys, it makes no difference. the room was set up intentionally as a "male only" room which I think was a good idea. straight men often have a different perspective and they are ok in this room too. The issue is how we support each other, listen to each other's hearts and ideas and honestly share our hopes and fears. let's not get distracted from that purpose. 
Originally posted by pondboy:
thanks Gadzook for putting perspective on this discussion. For some people, having no women in this room gives it a special place of safety. for other guys, it makes no difference. the room was set up intentionally as a "male only" room which I think was a good idea. straight men often have a different perspective and they are ok in this room too. The issue is how we support each other, listen to each other's hearts and ideas and honestly share our hopes and fears. let's not get distracted from that purpose.
****
Thank you. I know how hard it is for people when everyone in one way or another has to deal with such hard feelings. Sometimes a simple questions, theory, or answer can just go right to the gut of someone. But I think if we all understand that there is a ton of useful information that people give every single day around here and that we are all learning from one another. In the end we all will be better off.
By the way thanks for all the support the past 1/2 year to you and everyone else here. I could never have made it this far this soon without you all!
Thanks,
Gadzook
thunderbolt
Registrant
ill tell you if you dont like my post, fuck off, im not here to please you im here to get my shit out and some help, if one person is going to be offended and all have to change, sounds like i or them can just go back to the dis-functional family and cry in the pillows, dont tell me to shut-up on post do it in your own mind, ive heard that seeing it and writing it is a way of reliving, with the intention of not scaring the crap out of us every time we are triggered, or maybe the idea of being quit, like i have all these years is the one way one person wants it....who the hell do you think you are, ask a question, and then condem the person and their reply?
Well I am not sure if you are talking to me or who you are talking to. But I do agree with you. However just because we all have issues to get out does not mean that we should not be sympathetic to others. In one way or another we all have our own demons to deal with. I don't think this is a "cure all" for people with such deep and dark problems. That is why we have personal therapists and doctors.
I understand the problems we all face - believe me. And we should never ever be afraid to say what we need to. If it helps that is wonderful. With what we all have been through and go through we cannot always be as polite as we would all normally be. I think everyone has done it and everyone understands that. So as I stated before - let's just get whatever it is we can here and leave it at that. This place is great for advice and support. That is the main reason why most of us are here.
Honestly I would love to never have known this place even was here. In some way I think we all would love that. I would love to be living the good life. No nightmares or thoughts or depression or anxiety. No confusion and saddness.
But since I am not that lucky and I know this is far from a perfect world - I am sure glad this site is here. In many ways the people here have saved me.
gadzook
[ August 24, 2001: Message edited by: Gadzook ]
thunderbolt
Registrant
well then on with the show!!
Everyone, I would like to say one last thing about having the living shit pigeon-holed out of me at work! I had to tell a supervisor last year I had to go on sick leave and go to a hospital for three weeks. I was really fliped out and said too much. He wasn't surposed to but did tell someone and it spread to everyone. How I've been off work on sick leave for two weeks for an operation on my elbow and had another operation to repair a hermia yesterday. Being in great pain...they sent me home with some pain pills...I haven't be able to sleep all night...So I called work to talk to a friend and to see what was up...it was me!!!! Because of the SA everyone said that I was gay, a nut case, and was most likely a rapest of males. WOW, Johns Hopkins is a very big place and you would think that the workers were better imformed but no they are afraid that I will rape them...what ass holes...what shit heads. I work at night 11 to 7 and don't see too many staft but this shit is getting out of control. Who wants to face this shit ???
Pigeoned-holed
Eddie
Pigeoned-holed
Eddie