why do I ????
forgive777
Registrant
Why do I feel really guilty and depressed after masterbation???? I dont know whom to ask this to..... Thanks
why do I ????
- Thread starterforgive777
- Start date
Frustrated
Registrant
I feel the same I would say that's a normal reaction
On The Fringe
Registrant
What about it is making you uncomfortable?
Do you feel shame of enjoying the sensations? Do you feel shame in ejaculating?
Is it tied back to a specific of your CSA?
Old ideas on religion?
Do you feel shame of enjoying the sensations? Do you feel shame in ejaculating?
Is it tied back to a specific of your CSA?
Old ideas on religion?
There is a long history of prohibitions against masturbation.
Many of these were health related, they are all false, you won't grow hair, you won't go blind, etc. etc.
There are many people who use pornography as a means of arousal when they perform masturbation. While this is nothing to be concerned about if you become obsessed with masturbation, it is easier to get addicted this way.
Often we believe (for whatever reason)that "normal" sex is with a
committed relationship and limited to specific positions. This is often related to specific religious ideas. There is a reference in Leviticus about seed falling on barren ground.
My ex-wife preferred anal sex, until she discovered it was sodomy
and it was against her religion to practice this. I never enjoyed it much so it didn't bother me. Oral sex can also be prohibited. My ex-wife loved my performing oral sex
on her, but she used religion as a reason to not perform oral sex on me.
Mostly I think the shame comes from a feeling of being inadequate
to get our sexual needs met through a relationship.
The truth is that almost everyone masturbates whether they admit it or not. Men, women, single, or married, gay or straight.
The issue is to identify the source of your shame. MY bet is it is not even your shame, but shame that was transmitted on to you
by others.
I wish you peace, May God bless you and keep you until then.
Many of these were health related, they are all false, you won't grow hair, you won't go blind, etc. etc.
There are many people who use pornography as a means of arousal when they perform masturbation. While this is nothing to be concerned about if you become obsessed with masturbation, it is easier to get addicted this way.
Often we believe (for whatever reason)that "normal" sex is with a
committed relationship and limited to specific positions. This is often related to specific religious ideas. There is a reference in Leviticus about seed falling on barren ground.
My ex-wife preferred anal sex, until she discovered it was sodomy
and it was against her religion to practice this. I never enjoyed it much so it didn't bother me. Oral sex can also be prohibited. My ex-wife loved my performing oral sex
on her, but she used religion as a reason to not perform oral sex on me.
Mostly I think the shame comes from a feeling of being inadequate
to get our sexual needs met through a relationship.
The truth is that almost everyone masturbates whether they admit it or not. Men, women, single, or married, gay or straight.
The issue is to identify the source of your shame. MY bet is it is not even your shame, but shame that was transmitted on to you
by others.
I wish you peace, May God bless you and keep you until then.
Hi Bert,
the first thing to realize is that nearly every guy does it or has done it. it is one of the most normal things in the world. in itself, there is nothing that "should" make you feel bad.
however - there could be a number of things making you feel guilty and depressed.
it could be some sort of previous conditioning. parents or religious teaching may have influenced you to make you think it is bad or sinful. your peers as you were growing up may have ridiculed others for doing what they were doing themselves in secret. society or entertainment media may sometimes present it as something that only "losers" do because they can't have "real" sex.
Trigger warning!
as OnTheFringe suggested, it could be associated to some events of CSA - such as if a perp made you do it while he/she watched or made you do it to them or did it to you or had you do it to or with someone else. or you might have been caught at it by someone and shamed or scolded or punished. or there may have been some other unusual element added into the experience such as viewing porn at an early age while mb-ing before you were old enough to understand it and you may have found that disturbing. or - you may find that the sensations cause you to flashback to the abuse episodes and replay those events in your mind. and the pleasure that is the normal goal of masterbating is a weird juxtaposition to the unpleasantness, pain and trauma of abuse.
personally - i have experienced all of the above reasons for feeling guilt and shame.
it may be helpful to figure out why you feel this way. take it easy on yourself, though. if there are memories that you have not thought about in a long time, it may be triggering.
LEE
the first thing to realize is that nearly every guy does it or has done it. it is one of the most normal things in the world. in itself, there is nothing that "should" make you feel bad.
however - there could be a number of things making you feel guilty and depressed.
it could be some sort of previous conditioning. parents or religious teaching may have influenced you to make you think it is bad or sinful. your peers as you were growing up may have ridiculed others for doing what they were doing themselves in secret. society or entertainment media may sometimes present it as something that only "losers" do because they can't have "real" sex.
Trigger warning!
as OnTheFringe suggested, it could be associated to some events of CSA - such as if a perp made you do it while he/she watched or made you do it to them or did it to you or had you do it to or with someone else. or you might have been caught at it by someone and shamed or scolded or punished. or there may have been some other unusual element added into the experience such as viewing porn at an early age while mb-ing before you were old enough to understand it and you may have found that disturbing. or - you may find that the sensations cause you to flashback to the abuse episodes and replay those events in your mind. and the pleasure that is the normal goal of masterbating is a weird juxtaposition to the unpleasantness, pain and trauma of abuse.
personally - i have experienced all of the above reasons for feeling guilt and shame.
it may be helpful to figure out why you feel this way. take it easy on yourself, though. if there are memories that you have not thought about in a long time, it may be triggering.
LEE
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