Why did it happen *triggers*

This has been in my head for a couple of days and I need to get it out.

We have all asked this, WHY did it happen to me and WHY does it keep happening to kids. I don't believe I will ever have an answer but my quest has taken a different turn as I still want to know why. I look to history and the many times it has been not only normal but acceptable to take a young boy or girl as lovers even if only the practice with boys is more documented fully.

The why gets even bigger and more confusing when you put into content the history of civilizations throughout. Ancient civilizations such as the Romans, the Greeks, and the Samurai warriors to just name a really small amount that practiced this, all embraced adult-child sexual relationships not just for the men but women also.

Nothing makes it right as we know that the mind and emotional development of young children are not ready for the intense feeling and reactions of a sexual relationship even with some of their own age.

What is it that keeps societies around the world turning a blind eye to something we know as educated people are harmful to the development of our kids. When you look at the news for the past 50 years alone you can see case after case of highly organized child sex trafficking and yet it still goes on and is even covered up as we saw with Epstein. Many countries around the world denounce the child sex trade but turn a blind eye to the highly profitable tourist sext trade in their own back yard.

So why me, why you, why all of us?
Did we have a chance given the history of societies in the world?
Are kids still thought of property to do with as you wish, is it we don't value our children that we ignore when they speak up?
Have we not moved forward in any humanity?

So as I get to the end of this, I will still wonder why me, why us, why anyone.
 

Tom E.

Registrant
Unfortunately it seems there will always be a small (hopefully) segment of the population that is sexually attracted to kids. Most probably don't act on it because they know it's wrong & harmful & against the law & there are serious consequences if discovered. Some, however do give in to those urges. The kids involved, (like us), are in the wrong place at the wrong time or whatever & we cross paths with these afflicted men or women. Yes, it's probably been going on since the dawn of mankind. It really seems to be impossible to prevent it from happening sorry to say. I certainly didn't want to be "corrupted" and bullied at a young age, nor sexually used as a young adult, but it happened. I'm going to keep on trying to get beyond all that with therapy. I wish us all here at Malesurvivor to be able to do this.
 
... and when he gets bored he can simply use us as collateral to participate in a perp swap meet so he can "play" with the other "Fuck-Toys" that were brought (and the other perps can play with his)!
 

dark empathy

Registrant
And lets not forget, for all society wants to tell us that teenaged girls are little princesses who are always at the whim of evil men, kids aren't always innocent in this either. Anyone different, anyone who looks like a target, in the end the only base line is "because people can"

I'm afraid these days my attitude is simply that people are bastards, and what's worse, people are stupid enough to put the most seriously bastardy bastard in charge. I'd like to say that things might get better and that there is some hope of changing things, but I'm no longer convinced of this and have pretty much given up on homo not very sapiens as a hole,

Fuck humanity!
 
This has been in my head for a couple of days and I need to get it out.

We have all asked this, WHY did it happen to me and WHY does it keep happening to kids. I don't believe I will ever have an answer but my quest has taken a different turn as I still want to know why. I look to history and the many times it has been not only normal but acceptable to take a young boy or girl as lovers even if only the practice with boys is more documented fully.

The why gets even bigger and more confusing when you put into content the history of civilizations throughout. Ancient civilizations such as the Romans, the Greeks, and the Samurai warriors to just name a really small amount that practiced this, all embraced adult-child sexual relationships not just for the men but women also.

Nothing makes it right as we know that the mind and emotional development of young children are not ready for the intense feeling and reactions of a sexual relationship even with some of their own age.

What is it that keeps societies around the world turning a blind eye to something we know as educated people are harmful to the development of our kids. When you look at the news for the past 50 years alone you can see case after case of highly organized child sex trafficking and yet it still goes on and is even covered up as we saw with Epstein. Many countries around the world denounce the child sex trade but turn a blind eye to the highly profitable tourist sext trade in their own back yard.

So why me, why you, why all of us?
Did we have a chance given the history of societies in the world?
Are kids still thought of property to do with as you wish, is it we don't value our children that we ignore when they speak up?
Have we not moved forward in any humanity?

So as I get to the end of this, I will still wonder why me, why us, why anyone.
Dear F.A.,

You are an excellent writer. The title “Why did it happen” resonates with me because I have wanted to know the answer to this since I began recovering memories of being raped at the age of 5. My story is much bigger than that, but, for now, I will keep it to that. I can speculate as to why it happened – and my speculation may or may not be accurate… but I will never, in this life, know or understand why.

In my case, the question “why did it happen” includes these questions:

to my mother’s friend who brought me to her brother in law to be raped: “why did you do it? Why did you bring a 5 year old boy to be raped? Was is because you were angry at my father and wanted to hurt him by having this horror visited upon me? Was it that your own child/children were being held hostage and I was delivered so that they might be freed?

To the man who raped a 5 year old boy and repeatedly made remarks about my ass: Did you not care that the ass that so aroused you belonged to a 5 year old boy? Did you have not an ounce of empathy or humanity that despite the fact that this little boy was crying uncontrollably you raped him anyway?

And to both my parents: Why did you continue to be friends with the woman who brought you son to be raped? Why did you not report this to the police? Were you too upset? Were you too ashamed?

And to my mother who used me for her own sexual gratification: One question only for now: How could you?

I’ll leave it at that.

I won’t ever have the answers. But, I need to have peace – and I have obtained a measure of the most sacred peace I have ever experienced only after having been brought to the verge of desperation and despair. I do believe in God – our Creator – I don’t believe God only loves people of one religion or another – God loves us all – why God allowed this to happen to me, to you, to others in the past and in the present is also a question I cannot answer except to say that I am still here and am sustained by the source of life which is LOVE and to know that God’s desire is to live in me and through me.

I did not know that I was capable of such intense rage and hatred until I recalled these trauma that I experienced as a boy… I did not become so desperate for healing until I realized just how much I (and my brother) had been “abused” but somehow we survived… and as I continue to seek healing to hopefully find guides along the way on the healing path.

Thank you for being such a guide. It is nice to know that I am not alone.
 

TJ jeff

Moderator
F.A. - if you do a bit of searching I'm sure you will find other threads on the "Why" question

I myself was consumed with the "why" years ago and over the years I've come to find that there are many different "why's" - there is no one universal why - sure you can say it happens because there is evil in this world (but if you are asking yourself the question "why" then that is much too simple of a reason to hold any weight in your heart) - I think for each of us the "why" is found through looking back at the full picture of what was going on in our lives at the time leading up to the start of the abuse

My history of abuse started with physical abuse - I indeed was seen as "property" - I had the saying "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it" driven into me as a young child

My sexual abuse was done by a hormonal teenage uncle who had no girlfriend and a need for a sexual outlet - he put his needs above mine - and due to the physical abuse at home he saw a weakness in me that he could easily exploit to his own benefit

You may never have the exact reasons why it happened - but by looking back at all of the things going on around you before the abuse started you may indeed be able to catch a glimpse of the "why" it happened to you
 

Yankee71

Registrant
Just saw my therapist this AM and discussed some more details of my abuse. There is no doubt that these acts are harmful and evil. The damage it can cause the victim can be extreme. When my therapist listened to me more about it they said the person who sexually abused me was most likely sexually abused also. That sure as hell doesn't make it right but I can Try to understand it?!??

The feelings of guilt, shame, self loathing, fear are starting to turn into anger. One thing is that this anger is not just turning inward toward myself it is starting to go outward to the person who abused me and how this has ruining my life ever since. Things have gotten really bad since this. Extreme deppresion (2 suicide attempts), anxiety w/ panic attacks, to numbness and trying to numb myself w/ drugs and alcohol.

Whatever the reason why this person did this is starting to become less important to me. How the hell do I heal and improve my life is the more important question I have right now. I need to do this for myself first but also for my family. This is starting to happen now. I can't really see a time in the near future or maybe ever when I won't be pissed off at my abuser and the way it effected me.

Just trying to walk through this and understand the best I can and heal. I need to have some peace of mind for once.

Thanks

Yankee
 
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