Why Define Sexual Abuse?
One common element in all the discussion so far
IMHO, is that the definition of sexual abuse must
come from the experience of those who have
suffered from it.
Imagine a triangle--wide at the base, narrow at
top.
The base is the support, the foundation.
In matters of defining sexual abuse, the means of
supplying meaning comes from the bottom up to
the top.
It is very atypical of most common hierarchies.
This definition should not and must not be imposed
from the top, experts, saints, preachers, well
meaning do-gooders. It must flow upwards from the
strong base of survivor experience, strength and
hope.
This is the repudiation of the abuse of power
where the higher up, the older and more powerful
dominate and control those below and beneath.
If our experience as survivors is contradicted by
expert opinion or authoritarian edict, then it is
our responsibility as survivors to refuse such
limits and claim our right to our own lives.
With time and effort, the Survivors definition
will come to be the most widely held, accepted
standard of judgement. Consider the example of
alcoholism. Today it is the definition of the
alcoholic himself that informs most modern
thinking and policy regarding that social problem.
(esp. in the US.)
We can create the atmosphere for this type of
change in the way sexual abuse is seen only if we
are willing to speak out and demand justice for
ourselves and for all those who have
suffered and continue to suffer in silence.
THIS IS NOT A THEORY FOR US! Others may have
the luxury of debating fine points of circumstance
or variations on degrees of respective culpability
but these will be of little solace to those
seeking relief or like me who have reached the
end and do not know where to turn.
Joe, you are so right on the money, sex abuse is
about the use of sex as a weapon of
domination. We must resist any attempt, however,
well-meaning to diminish the truth of our own
lives. We've all tried that strategy before....
Thanks for a stimulating and very real thread...
With much affection for my fellows,
IMHO, is that the definition of sexual abuse must
come from the experience of those who have
suffered from it.
Imagine a triangle--wide at the base, narrow at
top.
The base is the support, the foundation.
In matters of defining sexual abuse, the means of
supplying meaning comes from the bottom up to
the top.
It is very atypical of most common hierarchies.
This definition should not and must not be imposed
from the top, experts, saints, preachers, well
meaning do-gooders. It must flow upwards from the
strong base of survivor experience, strength and
hope.
This is the repudiation of the abuse of power
where the higher up, the older and more powerful
dominate and control those below and beneath.
If our experience as survivors is contradicted by
expert opinion or authoritarian edict, then it is
our responsibility as survivors to refuse such
limits and claim our right to our own lives.
With time and effort, the Survivors definition
will come to be the most widely held, accepted
standard of judgement. Consider the example of
alcoholism. Today it is the definition of the
alcoholic himself that informs most modern
thinking and policy regarding that social problem.
(esp. in the US.)
We can create the atmosphere for this type of
change in the way sexual abuse is seen only if we
are willing to speak out and demand justice for
ourselves and for all those who have
suffered and continue to suffer in silence.
THIS IS NOT A THEORY FOR US! Others may have
the luxury of debating fine points of circumstance
or variations on degrees of respective culpability
but these will be of little solace to those
seeking relief or like me who have reached the
end and do not know where to turn.
Joe, you are so right on the money, sex abuse is
about the use of sex as a weapon of
domination. We must resist any attempt, however,
well-meaning to diminish the truth of our own
lives. We've all tried that strategy before....
Thanks for a stimulating and very real thread...
With much affection for my fellows,