why cant I be good enough where I am at?

[willtobecomplete]

So if you're not operating at your full potential, you really aren't good enough, are you?

Comparing myself to my personal best there will always be room to improve, i am just as good as evryother human on earth, although, boom, you got me, why don't i ever feel good enough

Striving and striving and never arriving

Why arnt I thriving? i feel like I am barley surviving. Where is reality in these feelings?


Maybe I keeping myself in this situation because I were at where I am going I would be good enough and inorder to preserve this belief that i am not good enough i must stay where I am at, and have been! Why can't I be good enough where I am at and then of course I am will be good enough where I am going because I already have that covered it is no longer an infulencing emotional prophetic factor in the whole special blend?

 

[Mike Church]

willtobe

There is some perverse reason why we always set the bar to high for ourselves and I think it has to do with setting ourselves up to fail.
Remember that we were led to believe that we were worthless pieces of shit and good for only one thing and that it was all our fault.

By setting the bar to high and failing merely confirms that we are what was implanted in us.

Whenever I did something that was good and right I would set out to destroy to because I did not deserve any good things etc. Well I sure as hell do not believe that now!!!

 

[Sinking]

In trying to explain to my father what I was going through early in my recovery, I used this analogy:
I could climb to the top of the Empire State Building with nothing more than my bare hands. And then I'd get to the top, look down and see that I forgot to tie one of my shoes and that would wipe out the huge accomplishment that I'd just made.

For me it seems like it was about sabotaging anything and everything I would do that was of a positive outcome. My mother thought my father was a loser and always told us kids that. Then she would immediately tell me how much I was like him. I was told, verbatim, "You will never amount to anything". I believed her and, like Mike said, made sure she was right...parents don't lie to us, right?

Now I see things differently. I sometimes slip back into my worthless mode, but if I step back and look at who I really am, what I've been able to overcome, how my friends and loved ones respect and appreciate me and what I have accomplished on my own, there really isn't much to not like. I have managed to stay married for 20 years, of course much credit goes to my ever-patient wife. We have a a beautiful 9 year old daughter who works hard in school, is polite, exceptionally smart, has a great sense of humor and is called a great role model for her peers by her teacher, we must be doing something right there. I have owned and run my own business for 8+ years now. I'm a good cook, a good poet, a good songwriter, a good gardener, a good friend, son, brother, son-in-law and therapy subject...just to name a few. I know that all might sounds a little vain but after all those years of hating myself, I guess I'm entitled to pat myself on the back every once in a while, when I remember to anyway.

I don't think you'll be stuck there forever. Keep reminding yourself of all your good qualities. Eventually the truth will sink in.
Peace - John