Why are we here ?
I was reading a report in a daily paper where a group of doctors and consultants were saying that online help and support groups were dangerous and did more harm than good.
To be fair they were talking about medical problems mainly, but they did include mental health help as well.
I can see their main point that people can recieve, or find, the wrong advice. And that has its dangers. But I believe that the poeple who activly seek advice are the kind of people that dont just look at one book or web site and take that information as gospel.
We tend to be people who are either dissatisfied with the mainstream help or seek the best and most up to date help and thinking available. And, most importantly, we seek the advice of those people who suffer the same complaint or trauma as we do. Who else knows the answers better ?
They used the word "dangerous", but survivors in particular are used to danger, we're dangerous people who lived a part of our lives in dangerous situations - some more than others if you read some of the tragic stories here.
I say "we're dangerous" meaning we are often dangerous to ourselves, we act out and have unprotected sex with strangers, we become addicted to drink and drugs, get embroiled in abusive relationships and are often driven by our anger to to lash out at those around us.
We understand dangerous, so why not use that understanding to our advantage ? we come to sites like this not knowing if what someone has written will offend or trigger us, but we keep coming back - we learn that the offence to ourselves isn't as bad as the origional offence against us. We overcame that, so we deal with the risk here.
Being online and remote does offer some safety, we aren't going to experience physical danger here. And if something we read is deeply upsetting we have the option of reading no further and moving on. That's a responsibility we take when we look for help and support on sites like this.
It's also the responsibility of the sites administrators and moderators to help to ensure that some kind of standard is kept, but that is always going to be difficult and relies on the standards of those people. And we all have different standards and levels of what we call acceptable.
But the real advantage of online help lies in its immediacy and availability. Where else can you get help 24 / 7 ?
Especially if you live in a remote area. Even here in the UK where I live the resources are town and city based, my local charity based therapy service is the only one between here and the Welsh coast over 100 miles away.
I've been lucky enough to have visited the US often, and I know how remote parts of it are. If you want therapy in Montana, or especially crisis help, where do you go ?
This can be especially important at crisis times when we know we're at risk of acting out, the depths of depression or reaching for the bottle. At those times we need help fast, most of can recognise the signs of the approacing crisis and feel powerless to stop it once it has us in its grip. If we have partners and friends who support us we turn to them, if we don't - what do we do ?
To know that support and the respect and love of others is just on the end of the 'phone line and all we need to do is get our fingers to the keyboard is a marvel, to get into a chat room and get instant response or even just write your feelings and fears in a forum gives us the release we need. It must make the difference to so many people who would otherwise struggle against the odds, if it didn't we wouldn't be here.
The technology that gives us this option is here to stay, and I believe that those who say it's of no use or dangerous haven't given themselves the chance to see just what it can do.
But we do, we know it makes sense.
Lloydy
To be fair they were talking about medical problems mainly, but they did include mental health help as well.
I can see their main point that people can recieve, or find, the wrong advice. And that has its dangers. But I believe that the poeple who activly seek advice are the kind of people that dont just look at one book or web site and take that information as gospel.
We tend to be people who are either dissatisfied with the mainstream help or seek the best and most up to date help and thinking available. And, most importantly, we seek the advice of those people who suffer the same complaint or trauma as we do. Who else knows the answers better ?
They used the word "dangerous", but survivors in particular are used to danger, we're dangerous people who lived a part of our lives in dangerous situations - some more than others if you read some of the tragic stories here.
I say "we're dangerous" meaning we are often dangerous to ourselves, we act out and have unprotected sex with strangers, we become addicted to drink and drugs, get embroiled in abusive relationships and are often driven by our anger to to lash out at those around us.
We understand dangerous, so why not use that understanding to our advantage ? we come to sites like this not knowing if what someone has written will offend or trigger us, but we keep coming back - we learn that the offence to ourselves isn't as bad as the origional offence against us. We overcame that, so we deal with the risk here.
Being online and remote does offer some safety, we aren't going to experience physical danger here. And if something we read is deeply upsetting we have the option of reading no further and moving on. That's a responsibility we take when we look for help and support on sites like this.
It's also the responsibility of the sites administrators and moderators to help to ensure that some kind of standard is kept, but that is always going to be difficult and relies on the standards of those people. And we all have different standards and levels of what we call acceptable.
But the real advantage of online help lies in its immediacy and availability. Where else can you get help 24 / 7 ?
Especially if you live in a remote area. Even here in the UK where I live the resources are town and city based, my local charity based therapy service is the only one between here and the Welsh coast over 100 miles away.
I've been lucky enough to have visited the US often, and I know how remote parts of it are. If you want therapy in Montana, or especially crisis help, where do you go ?
This can be especially important at crisis times when we know we're at risk of acting out, the depths of depression or reaching for the bottle. At those times we need help fast, most of can recognise the signs of the approacing crisis and feel powerless to stop it once it has us in its grip. If we have partners and friends who support us we turn to them, if we don't - what do we do ?
To know that support and the respect and love of others is just on the end of the 'phone line and all we need to do is get our fingers to the keyboard is a marvel, to get into a chat room and get instant response or even just write your feelings and fears in a forum gives us the release we need. It must make the difference to so many people who would otherwise struggle against the odds, if it didn't we wouldn't be here.
The technology that gives us this option is here to stay, and I believe that those who say it's of no use or dangerous haven't given themselves the chance to see just what it can do.
But we do, we know it makes sense.
Lloydy
