I have an enormous hate for my abuser, however I have an even bigger anger towards my own mother. My abuser was her ex husband, and it has been pointed out to me that I seem to hold my mother more accountable for not protecting me than my abuser for actually abusing me. Now I have physically assaulted my abuser years later after he used me for his own pleasure. So maybe that does help take the edge off of his actions towards me a bit. however, still to this day my own mother will not/does not believe that I was physically assulted by this man, and because of this I have never been able to bring myself to tell her the sexual piece or how violent he was about using me. I want to forgive her so badly for not being there to protect me, but the fact that she doesn't believe me in absolutely infuriating..