Thank you much for posting this. Sometime, when things of the past become too much at me, I lose sight of this, that I have had many more GOOD people in my life then the bad.
My friend Susanna, who also used to be skater. We first met when she is 14, I was 17 years, we were at competitive event together. And she, this little tiny girl, she comes over to me and says 'Hi, I'm Sassy, and I think you're cute!' Embarrassed the hell of me! And I'm sure that's why she did it! ha ha. I think actually she did it of a dare from friend. Whatever, we have been friends since, in both good decent times, and some very terrible times. She has been friend, roommate, 'little sister', and so much more then I can even define.
The first time someone stand up for me, with my old coach. Am at competition, I think not quite seventeen, and had very bad practice. And as we are going to locker room, my coach was screaming at me, pushing me against wall and slapping at me. And two people who now are such close friends, they help me. One speaks up at coach, saying 'You can't do this, you need to knock it off', while the other is walking with me, asking if I am all right. First time ever anyone stand up to him for me, or try to help me with him, and neither of them knew me, neither of them even from my country. They both are wonderful great friends now still.
The coach I go to after I leave him, such incredibly different person. Loving, mother-like, 'doting' even. Suddenly I feel like I have safe, good mom. I lived with her when I first move here even. She showed me so much of how a person of authority, of how a person who is somehow above you, does not have to be a terrible person who abuses power of you. She showed me that a person can be someone of respect, someone who is 'boss' or above others, and still be kind and loving. She still is that.
My best friend. We have known each other, I think it is just over ten years now. He is older of me, and when I met him, he is like 'big brother', someone I so looked up to, he was always so handsome, so smart, so popular with people, so unlike me! And, he let me be as 'little brother' of him. He let me look up to him, and took it as a personal responsibility. He teach me so much, of how to be the best person to be, to deal of adverse things with honor and integrity, to treat all involved with decency and respect, even those who harm you. He is the one who teach me that. I remember I ask him of that once, why he treat someone who is bad at him as a decent person. He told me 'Leshka, I am not necessarily treating him as a decent person. I am treating myself as a decent person.' I was 14 or 15 years old, and thought 'Wow'. Still today, when I talk with him or can spend time with him, I still think 'Wow'.
Another friend, one of the first persons who stand up at coach for me as I mention earlier. When first I moved to this country, I was so much not a nice person. I was 18 years of age, still not speaking so much of the language, and so emotional and angry, and just nasty person usually (it was during this time I earned nickname of 'Satan' from some people, and I do mean 'earned' ha ha). When I am doing so much to push people away, he remains so kind and patient with me. He told me 'I am not sure why you do this, but I know this isn't you. Do what you must, but I am here for you, and will remain'. Again, he saves me, not from other person, but of myself.
There are so many other people who have done distinct things in my life, that have saved me from darkness, sometime even saved me from death. Some of those people are friends in 'real life'. Some are friends I have met here, or at other online site, in recent months. I can not go on with each and every one of them, there would not be room here. But I do plan to let them each know what they mean to me, today or tomorrow. Thank you so much, Muldoon, for starting this post, because I realize, I do need to thank these people. True friendship, I think that is never having to say thank you; but always having reason to say it.
Thank YOU, everyone here.
leosha
